MNK99
Well-Known Member
- Messages
- 5,478
- Deleted by MNK99
- Reason: better timing
-Fasting all day today.
-Weight at Clinic was 192lb (that's not true weight), real weight is 188.7lb, and even that's not "true weight", with good digestion, cortisol down etc, it'd be less.
-baking soda, magnesium citrate (ran out of preferred types), 20mg Dex, 2 A-GPC i.e. 600mg Alpha-Glyceryl Phosphoryl Choline + 100mg Green Phosphatidylserine.
-i.e. NaHCO3 + C6H5MgO7 + C9NH13 + C8H20NO6P + C13H24NO10P --> 11.30. And some caffeine like 12-1 and 2.30 (2.5 shots espresso total).
Mood-energy (dual dx) rating:
-Energy: 8/10 (pretty good, but not the best).
-Focus: 8/10 (it's all relative, I still waste a lot of time and get lost physically and mentally a bit)
-Mood: 8/10 maybe like 4-5 with nothing, dex like 4.5-6., and GPC like 7 maybe 8. If highest ever (normal non-drugged mood would be like 8-9, probably higher as a kid, or if initial Lamotrigine use was like an 8-9, this is still less than that).
-Dex side effects: 8/10 or so, insomnia, stress, agitation (normal and exacerbated with dex) are lowered.
-Feeling that I can do whatever the hell it is I need to do: 8/10 (but not instantly, and not without trial and error and ups and downs, and time and serious effort).
-Looking good too. Fix hair to perfect childlike density and fix remaining issues (leanness, water retention/digestion, and some facial changes) and have a lot of capital, liquid cash -- and I'd be euphoric for a bit.
Other stuff:
-Less hostile, not feeling like fighting too much, and can slow down my mind and not cut people off when talking... and not accidentally raise my voice etc... and annoyances are just a brief inconvenience but yes, I need to register that and it isn't automatic at times. Trying to keep other people happy a bit too.
-I think A-GPC (using Cognitex Basics) is helpful for mood and works well with dexedrine (maybe dexedrine feels a bit weaker, but adjusting dose and waiting on it is fine). I'm wired but controlled and not really erratic. I could go to class or study like this and jobs that I like (lots of crappy jobs out there tho, and unsuitable for me). I may write something for this PhD, but sounds like a waste of time, I could make more doing basically anything outside of that work.
-Research... fk no.
-Ghostwrite papers? Kids are annoying as hell, and I can one draft things off the top of my head for a 70-80 depending on the class, but actual detail and to my level.. it's super time consuming. Working on turning writing into money... but takes time and I need peace/sollitude to actually make moves on that.
-I'd rather ghostwrite lyrics or run some ignorant, illiterate rapper's social media in LA or something. If I could make beats... I don't have time to learn that just yet. I have friends that are excellent beat producers, but like the rest we're far apart from each other.
-Post ru, I can accept things more confidently. Otherwise I may do something stupid like agree to a serious job, then quit and burn my bridges - stress.
-I wish I could live with as cheap and as cool a city as MTRL but advancement like NY/Toronto -- except not Toronto, i.e. NY, but it will take time.
-Should have dropped out of school like 15 yrs ago and driven there.
-I know that it sounds like I'm on a lot of drugs, but really just 2 non pfs ones, and baking soda is benign as long as it's not overused, magnesium is whatever, and R-A, 4-A are short-term use.
-I saw my endocrinologist (I was late, up... got ready, rushed -- this is normal for me... so becoming more normal again. Thank God/Satan whoever).
-I have a low dose 2.5mg script for a PDE2), I am supposed to run it for like a month and see from there, it could help bloodflow.
-I won't workout today, need to work on job and capital-related stuff. Make sure I have jobs when I return to Toronto.
-Like the 80-100k job I could have gotten just weeks prior to PFS (though it'd be HARD no doubt, and it's sales and high pressure).
-ru486 / ru486+prog / ella+prog would get me to where I want to be (at least for the time being) quicker. I may be ~4 weeks into R-andro.
-Sexual drive 3-4/10, not bad... but need to reverse atrophy and better blood flow. Sometimes higher, but that's low for me. Probably was zero or worse in crash.
-Weight at Clinic was 192lb (that's not true weight), real weight is 188.7lb, and even that's not "true weight", with good digestion, cortisol down etc, it'd be less.
-baking soda, magnesium citrate (ran out of preferred types), 20mg Dex, 2 A-GPC i.e. 600mg Alpha-Glyceryl Phosphoryl Choline + 100mg Green Phosphatidylserine.
-i.e. NaHCO3 + C6H5MgO7 + C9NH13 + C8H20NO6P + C13H24NO10P --> 11.30. And some caffeine like 12-1 and 2.30 (2.5 shots espresso total).
Mood-energy (dual dx) rating:
-Energy: 8/10 (pretty good, but not the best).
-Focus: 8/10 (it's all relative, I still waste a lot of time and get lost physically and mentally a bit)
-Mood: 8/10 maybe like 4-5 with nothing, dex like 4.5-6., and GPC like 7 maybe 8. If highest ever (normal non-drugged mood would be like 8-9, probably higher as a kid, or if initial Lamotrigine use was like an 8-9, this is still less than that).
-Dex side effects: 8/10 or so, insomnia, stress, agitation (normal and exacerbated with dex) are lowered.
-Feeling that I can do whatever the hell it is I need to do: 8/10 (but not instantly, and not without trial and error and ups and downs, and time and serious effort).
-Looking good too. Fix hair to perfect childlike density and fix remaining issues (leanness, water retention/digestion, and some facial changes) and have a lot of capital, liquid cash -- and I'd be euphoric for a bit.
Other stuff:
-Less hostile, not feeling like fighting too much, and can slow down my mind and not cut people off when talking... and not accidentally raise my voice etc... and annoyances are just a brief inconvenience but yes, I need to register that and it isn't automatic at times. Trying to keep other people happy a bit too.
-I think A-GPC (using Cognitex Basics) is helpful for mood and works well with dexedrine (maybe dexedrine feels a bit weaker, but adjusting dose and waiting on it is fine). I'm wired but controlled and not really erratic. I could go to class or study like this and jobs that I like (lots of crappy jobs out there tho, and unsuitable for me). I may write something for this PhD, but sounds like a waste of time, I could make more doing basically anything outside of that work.
-Research... fk no.
-Ghostwrite papers? Kids are annoying as hell, and I can one draft things off the top of my head for a 70-80 depending on the class, but actual detail and to my level.. it's super time consuming. Working on turning writing into money... but takes time and I need peace/sollitude to actually make moves on that.
-I'd rather ghostwrite lyrics or run some ignorant, illiterate rapper's social media in LA or something. If I could make beats... I don't have time to learn that just yet. I have friends that are excellent beat producers, but like the rest we're far apart from each other.
-Post ru, I can accept things more confidently. Otherwise I may do something stupid like agree to a serious job, then quit and burn my bridges - stress.
-I wish I could live with as cheap and as cool a city as MTRL but advancement like NY/Toronto -- except not Toronto, i.e. NY, but it will take time.
-Should have dropped out of school like 15 yrs ago and driven there.
-I know that it sounds like I'm on a lot of drugs, but really just 2 non pfs ones, and baking soda is benign as long as it's not overused, magnesium is whatever, and R-A, 4-A are short-term use.
-I saw my endocrinologist (I was late, up... got ready, rushed -- this is normal for me... so becoming more normal again. Thank God/Satan whoever).
-I have a low dose 2.5mg script for a PDE2), I am supposed to run it for like a month and see from there, it could help bloodflow.
-I won't workout today, need to work on job and capital-related stuff. Make sure I have jobs when I return to Toronto.
-Like the 80-100k job I could have gotten just weeks prior to PFS (though it'd be HARD no doubt, and it's sales and high pressure).
-ru486 / ru486+prog / ella+prog would get me to where I want to be (at least for the time being) quicker. I may be ~4 weeks into R-andro.
-Sexual drive 3-4/10, not bad... but need to reverse atrophy and better blood flow. Sometimes higher, but that's low for me. Probably was zero or worse in crash.