Just signed up to volunteer to help with care home elderly, those with dementia and those struggling with loneliness. I need something to occupy my time, I certainly can't work for an employer, I've been put on disability benefits by my doctor. Doctor still trying to give me anti-depressants, was tempted to take them. I don't know the success rates with anti-depressants in dealing with pfs.
Shadow
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Stay away from ADs, they can do the same thing as Fin. When I say the same, I have strong evidence that its not only similar problems, but literally the same!
tanedout
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Based on the fact you say you are feeling a bit depressed, these things have been a benefit to me;
- pine pollen powder - 3 x heaped teaspoons per day and I felt amazing, very 'alpha male'. Could be worth considering
- vitamin d3 - have used a brand called 'biophix' at 10,000iu - noticeable increase in positivity
- Active B12 (methyl B12) - have used a jarrow brand at 1000mg daily. Noticeable improvement in mental clarity, especially combined with carnitine l-fumarate
Appreciate the post. This isn’t only depression, I’ve awoke now after three hours of sleep feeling suicidal. It is torture living like this. It’s going far beyond feeling like a man, alpha concerns. Feels like my brain is dying.
barbaar
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You'll get through this. When I was at my worst I felt like I might as well have been lobotomized. That obviously wasn't the case and I'm doing so much better now mentally. I know it's scary but you just have to keep going.
Aflac94
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I was the same way. Keep trying stuff. It may help or may not. Time passing will help. But just know the phase you are in is normal for a lot of us. I don’t have great advice for you. It’s like I wish you could fast forward this part in the movie.
But I 100% gaureentee you will look back on this time and say wow I can’t believe I felt like such shit, glad I feel better now. Just have to let the time pass. Can be 2 years unfortunately. Seems the magic number for some of us. Could be less for you who knows.
The volunteer thing is a good idea, it will show you that your position, while bad now, is nothing compared to the state they are in. Your state is temporary suffering. They are permanently fucked. Sorry if any of this is insensitive.
Also think of all the chronic diseases out there, ours is just one of them. If nothing else this is an experience to understand what so many people have to live with everyday with chronic disease. Some will be permanently stuck in a terrible state. You only get a taste. I don’t know whether we will all be truly cured but this community is working toward that. You will eventually improve to some degree (the exact amount idk) and be happy again I guarantee!!!! you this.
Again Sorry if any of this is insensitive, but it’s the truth
But I 100% gaureentee you will look back on this time and say wow I can’t believe I felt like such shit, glad I feel better now. Just have to let the time pass. Can be 2 years unfortunately. Seems the magic number for some of us. Could be less for you who knows.
The volunteer thing is a good idea, it will show you that your position, while bad now, is nothing compared to the state they are in. Your state is temporary suffering. They are permanently fucked. Sorry if any of this is insensitive.
Also think of all the chronic diseases out there, ours is just one of them. If nothing else this is an experience to understand what so many people have to live with everyday with chronic disease. Some will be permanently stuck in a terrible state. You only get a taste. I don’t know whether we will all be truly cured but this community is working toward that. You will eventually improve to some degree (the exact amount idk) and be happy again I guarantee!!!! you this.
Again Sorry if any of this is insensitive, but it’s the truth
Chapman
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@Concerned @Aflac94 is on the money here this is why although all the sexual stuff is bad its the neurological stuff that is the killer. You mentioned vertigo I've experienced this as well along with tinnitus. I imagine its similar to Meniere's disease. Unfortunately, you just have to ride it out and hang in there pal. Try and rest or do something you enjoy.
MNK99
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Racing thoughts is my norm (at times, not 247 usually), I was too stupid pre fast to do that and I hold the medical system accountable for that.
In any case remembering how much smarter and more energetic I was motivated me to fast longer.
I couldn't shower or shave or anything before like 15 days or so, easily. It was hard still then. Now I'm showering like 3 x a day again (after workouts).
-It was motivation but also Physical immobilization. From job offers and going out everday to not even being able to buy groceries. Planning my future, to seeing it erase. BUT I'm still here.
-NEVER ATTEMPT SUICIDE --- ANY OF YOU. IT isn't worth it; and usually it fails, and often messes up something else.
-AND even if you feel terrible, like a burden --- PEOPLE feel worse without you.
-IT isn't true what your mind is telling you. IT can and will get better; but we all need to create the environment in which it can get better. Otherwise, it will be stagnation.
-It's like exercising without the diet. Or high fat, high protein, and no lifting.... It's OK better than nothing, but ineffectual. NEED all your ducks in a row, for this bullshit syndrome.
-EDIT: ALthough I forget how long you fasted, and I'm not saying you need to fast more, I'd also like to say I remember feeling pretty weak still at end of fast (makes sense), and that first night eating broth... I was super delicate and fragile for a few days, still moving very slowly (in contrast to my running up and down rite now or usual), it took time. Takes a lot of TIME to rebuild system. AS MATTYB told me , 1.5-2x as long as fast... and 1x is pushing it... depends person to person and circumstance to circumstance. I probably didn't feel normal until 2 mo after fasting , and it still was not fantastic, but like good 20-40% of the time, and slowly increasing. EVEN only being good 30% of the time, is way better than initially in worst pfs state and pre fast... takes time, is what I'm saying, anyways take it easy.
In any case remembering how much smarter and more energetic I was motivated me to fast longer.
I couldn't shower or shave or anything before like 15 days or so, easily. It was hard still then. Now I'm showering like 3 x a day again (after workouts).
-It was motivation but also Physical immobilization. From job offers and going out everday to not even being able to buy groceries. Planning my future, to seeing it erase. BUT I'm still here.
-NEVER ATTEMPT SUICIDE --- ANY OF YOU. IT isn't worth it; and usually it fails, and often messes up something else.
-AND even if you feel terrible, like a burden --- PEOPLE feel worse without you.
-IT isn't true what your mind is telling you. IT can and will get better; but we all need to create the environment in which it can get better. Otherwise, it will be stagnation.
-It's like exercising without the diet. Or high fat, high protein, and no lifting.... It's OK better than nothing, but ineffectual. NEED all your ducks in a row, for this bullshit syndrome.
-EDIT: ALthough I forget how long you fasted, and I'm not saying you need to fast more, I'd also like to say I remember feeling pretty weak still at end of fast (makes sense), and that first night eating broth... I was super delicate and fragile for a few days, still moving very slowly (in contrast to my running up and down rite now or usual), it took time. Takes a lot of TIME to rebuild system. AS MATTYB told me , 1.5-2x as long as fast... and 1x is pushing it... depends person to person and circumstance to circumstance. I probably didn't feel normal until 2 mo after fasting , and it still was not fantastic, but like good 20-40% of the time, and slowly increasing. EVEN only being good 30% of the time, is way better than initially in worst pfs state and pre fast... takes time, is what I'm saying, anyways take it easy.
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MNK99
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-I know you don't want to take them. And likely you will not. (IF absolutely necessary and it's a safe one and it's better than alternative, then it's fine to take it). What those safe ones are... I wouldn't know.
-RE: " I don't know the success rates with anti-depressants in dealing with pfs."
-Can't be any lower than the success rate of taking finasteride in dealing with psyche-med hair loss (very low).
-Actually I think it's higher than that, but ill-advised.
-For people like me they're all bad news... outside of mood stabilizers (also ill advised bc of the major weight gain, rapid balding, and aging like 20yrs in a yr --- I'm too vain for that).
-Some did try mirtazepine or whatever. Anyone with lingering mania/hypomania, psychosis, etc... rage, etc... should probably stay the hell away from that too.
-I agree with RANDRO as stated above. But only feel it helped me because of the long fast and refeed. Whatever you do stay away from Effexor/Pristiq (to everyone).
-GOOD on you for volunteering. When I was younger, I did a lot, emergency rooms, and hospitals. Been a long time. Should probably end my mean streak.
-RE: " I don't know the success rates with anti-depressants in dealing with pfs."
-Can't be any lower than the success rate of taking finasteride in dealing with psyche-med hair loss (very low).
-Actually I think it's higher than that, but ill-advised.
-For people like me they're all bad news... outside of mood stabilizers (also ill advised bc of the major weight gain, rapid balding, and aging like 20yrs in a yr --- I'm too vain for that).
-Some did try mirtazepine or whatever. Anyone with lingering mania/hypomania, psychosis, etc... rage, etc... should probably stay the hell away from that too.
-I agree with RANDRO as stated above. But only feel it helped me because of the long fast and refeed. Whatever you do stay away from Effexor/Pristiq (to everyone).
-GOOD on you for volunteering. When I was younger, I did a lot, emergency rooms, and hospitals. Been a long time. Should probably end my mean streak.
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I think this might be pfs plus something else, it took me half an hour to eat a small plate of rice chicken and spinach this morning and my brain feels like it’s dying since. Also feels like a lump of concrete in my stomach whilst eating and afterwards. Can’t live like this, literally planning my goodbyes to my loved ones but scared they will commit me to a mental hospital and keep me artificially alive whilst I feel like this.
MNK99
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You're in my prayers man.
Don't give up
And check in if you must but please don't do anything rash. I know people who tried and they deeply regret it.
I know that labotomized /brain-dead, zombie feeling and don't wish it on anyone. I wish water fasting had clinics everywhere like in UK, canada, and the states which were accessible and not stupid costly and far away. If they understood 1/10 of what they think they know.
Checking in may not be such a bad idea could have helped me at my worst and when I was alone.
Don't give up
And check in if you must but please don't do anything rash. I know people who tried and they deeply regret it.
I know that labotomized /brain-dead, zombie feeling and don't wish it on anyone. I wish water fasting had clinics everywhere like in UK, canada, and the states which were accessible and not stupid costly and far away. If they understood 1/10 of what they think they know.
Checking in may not be such a bad idea could have helped me at my worst and when I was alone.
Hang in there man
I remember during the first stages of my journey and still to a degree today, carbs would crash me very badly
Try going lower on carbs , especially grains ; keto style/no inflammatory food diet did wonders for my brain fog and energy. Experiment, if you feel it's not the cause then you at least know it's not from your insulin pathway crashing you or inflammatory food making you feel that bad. By the way you describe it, especially your mental issue, it sounds a lot like what state I was in all 2017 long
It's just a suggestion, your current state could be caused by something else, my 2c
I remember during the first stages of my journey and still to a degree today, carbs would crash me very badly
Try going lower on carbs , especially grains ; keto style/no inflammatory food diet did wonders for my brain fog and energy. Experiment, if you feel it's not the cause then you at least know it's not from your insulin pathway crashing you or inflammatory food making you feel that bad. By the way you describe it, especially your mental issue, it sounds a lot like what state I was in all 2017 long
It's just a suggestion, your current state could be caused by something else, my 2c
MNK99
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I was in this hell state too.
Worse than anything I've ever experienced.
I hope you get help there I'm sure it will be better. Is someone there to help you right now?
Regardless of what I said before
Meds / mental hospital is worth it in life threatening situations. Short term. It's better than worst case.
Worse than anything I've ever experienced.
I hope you get help there I'm sure it will be better. Is someone there to help you right now?
Regardless of what I said before
Meds / mental hospital is worth it in life threatening situations. Short term. It's better than worst case.
tanedout
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@Concerned Get reading some of these recovery stories and make sure you get yourself up there when the time comes
Recoveries
Recoveries
Goose12
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@Concerned we are all here for you, and a lot of us have been in similar a situation as you. In the beginning the only thing that kept me going was moving forward in the hopes of curing this, and now I know 100% that this isnt forever.
Just know that you can be cured from this, have a better understanding of health, and become the best version of you with the knowledge you can gain from this situation.
You just have to keep moving forward and never give up. Even when you feel like shit find comfort in that you are consistently trying some sort of protocol recommended here.
At my worst I had absolutely no joy or happiness in my life and it was not something I couldnt control it was because of this imbalance pfs leaves us with. During this time i read and learned as much as I could about this. I read every thread on swole source and some i read over and over again. You should do the same here. There is alot of great information buried here, and alot of positivity.
If I was you I would jump on arl supps and get another hair test in a month and keep going that route.
I know you are scared to try it but ru helped me so much. At high dose it really helped with my cortisol insensitivity and greatly reduced a lot of my mental sides.
Its only when you give up that hope is lost
Just know that you can be cured from this, have a better understanding of health, and become the best version of you with the knowledge you can gain from this situation.
You just have to keep moving forward and never give up. Even when you feel like shit find comfort in that you are consistently trying some sort of protocol recommended here.
At my worst I had absolutely no joy or happiness in my life and it was not something I couldnt control it was because of this imbalance pfs leaves us with. During this time i read and learned as much as I could about this. I read every thread on swole source and some i read over and over again. You should do the same here. There is alot of great information buried here, and alot of positivity.
If I was you I would jump on arl supps and get another hair test in a month and keep going that route.
I know you are scared to try it but ru helped me so much. At high dose it really helped with my cortisol insensitivity and greatly reduced a lot of my mental sides.
Its only when you give up that hope is lost
barbaar
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+1 for swolesource recoveries section. It's one of the things I like to read when I need some positive thoughts.
@Concerned you will add your story there one day, don't give up before that day comes.
Almost crying reading the responses here, I love you guys so much, I called my mum and got her to take me to the emergency hospital. I’m sat here with a drip in my arm in a hospital bed. Getting my gut checked, all sorts of tests, trying to hold in there mentally, thank you all so much for your support.
Niles
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I know you feel miserable right now, but things WILL get better. Recovery comes in waves, as do the downswings, and those downswings can be especially rough this early in recovery. Try to remember that many of us have been there, and many of us have also made massive improvements since. Remember how good you felt on your best days post-crash, and know that the state you're in right now is not permanent.
As others have suggested, try staying away from high-carb foods for awhile (grains, etc) and eating things like chicken, fish, broccoli, and spinach, everything well-cooked, well-chewed, and taken with digestive enzymes. You can and will get through this.
As others have suggested, try staying away from high-carb foods for awhile (grains, etc) and eating things like chicken, fish, broccoli, and spinach, everything well-cooked, well-chewed, and taken with digestive enzymes. You can and will get through this.
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