RWAC's PFS log (on the TEI train)

bruschi11

bruschi11

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Helen said:
can always move to Cape Cod or Martha Vineyard and sit there on the beach.
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Parents bought a house in mid-cape this past winter. Been spending all my weekends down there beaching and golf. Did 10 days of my coconut water/ juice fast down there.

Been driving the extra 40 mins bringing dog and gf to beach way down towards the end of the cape. Natural beaches have been amazing, swimming with seals. Finding beaches with very little people, it’s been heaven.

I work on north of Boston in week and if I were to make full time move it would be to north shore. Some nice beaches up there, been going to Hampton Beach in NH recently where I’m working with Carolann.

Just had a 15 gallons coffee colonic and currently getting IVs C, glutathione, b-complex, magnesium.

They essentially have me on “detox for dummies” you outlined. I’m adding in tyrosine, histidine, serine since I’m getting the glutathione.
 
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Admiral

Admiral

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951
I am all tattooed up. Not sure what kind of metals are in it, but I have lots of aluminium coming out. Could be linked, or not. Aluminium is pretty common.

Wouldn’t worry though.
 
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RebelWithACause

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raven said:
@RebelWithACause What are your current issues and symptoms?
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I am still recovering libido from TRT. In 2 weeks I am getting blood work like I promised.

Focus is libido (getting it back to "high") and erection quality. Rest of PFS symptoms are gone.

I wake up with rock hard morning wood but I do not have random boners like I used to. And I would like my libido higher.

The hard thing about this shit is I do not know what my baseline is. I feel great overall. Even after Ella I thought I was back to 100% but now I feel even better then that. That is the weird thing about PFS. Once you get health back slowly you see how much you missed it!
 
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Admiral

Admiral

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951
MNK99

MNK99

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WTF LOL!
I'm gonna glue my list of next actions to my cock. --ANYONE who is indecisive, I suggest you do the same.
AND later get a flying tiger all over my heart. AND a coyote on bay street.
 
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RebelWithACause

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Was just thinking about this.

People shit on unconfident people. That is the way it goes. And in PFS I saw people disrespecting me daily. I hated this feeling. This was the worst feeling of all. Worse than not having a libido and all the other shit. Yes I am serious about that!

Now that I am back to normal/doing OK people lower their head when I look at them. People are intimidated all of a sudden. They do not have the balls anymore to say the shit they used to say. Or to bump into me constantly.

I do not bully people. Especially if they are weak. I do not like bullies. But experiencing the fact that people shit on you. Talk shit to you on a daily basis can make you JADED. And want revenge. I was very angry for a while because of these experiences. I wonder if other people in PFS also experienced this.

I think part of it was in my own head. I was anxious and depressed. So everything can seem darker. But it is weird that people treated me so badly. Because they definitely treat me different now.

I learned a lot from it. You see human nature in full throttle. We are still animals after all. And if you are weak the only real friend you have is yourself. And maybe the guys from Hackstasis ;).
 
MNK99

MNK99

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STILL IN NORMAL OR GREAT HEALTH lots respect me esp dangerous, shady, high T women too. LOTS of little weirdos and groups of 5 losers disrespect me but I walk rite thru them. BUT promised to stop fighting when I was 16.And 20 and 26.... etc. SOme really cocky high schoolers/ 18-20 yr olds don't know better and drunk degenerates. ANd fat sjw's say things, that they should not. BUT YOU CANNOT FIGHT EVERYONE all day. I HATE BULLIES TOO. BUT when hyperfocused or hypomanic... look fucking aggressive/deranged/demonic at times. IT's a cost of doing business surrounded by cucks.

"Now that I am back to normal/doing OK people lower their head when I look at them. "

ME TOO, but sometimes I force them to lower their head with a deathstare.
Sometimes I just want to cum in their eyes/face. ALSO AURA scares off a lot. ON PURPOSE but also uncontrollable for many yrs. BETTER THAN BEING BULLIED, but probably not the normal wway to deal with it. NO ANXIETY at times, I'm fine in alleys. CROWDED ROOM or TRAIN i want to jump off and race the train and beat it. BUT YOU CAN'T DO SHIT LIKE THAT.

it's hard not to smash everything.
 
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RebelWithACause

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MNK99 said:
STILL IN NORMAL OR GREAT HEALTH lots respect me esp dangerous, shady, high T women too. LOTS of little weirdos and groups of 5 losers disrespect me but I walk rite thru them. BUT promised to stop fighting when I was 16.And 20 and 26.... etc. SOme really cocky high schoolers/ 18-20 yr olds don't know better and drunk degenerates. ANd fat sjw's say things, that they should not. BUT YOU CANNOT FIGHT EVERYONE all day. I HATE BULLIES TOO. BUT when hyperfocused or hypomanic... look fucking aggressive/deranged/demonic at times. IT's a cost of doing business surrounded by cucks.

"Now that I am back to normal/doing OK people lower their head when I look at them. "

ME TOO, but sometimes I force them to lower their head with a deathstare.
Sometimes I just want to cum in their eyes/face. ALSO AURA scares off a lot. ON PURPOSE but also uncontrollable for many yrs. BETTER THAN BEING BULLIED, but probably not the normal wway to deal with it. NO ANXIETY at times, I'm fine in alleys. CROWDED ROOM or TRAIN i want to jump off and race the train and beat it. BUT YOU CAN'T DO SHIT LIKE THAT.

it's hard not to smash everything.
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I love to fight man. MMA is great for that. I stopped doing it because I got injured every week (bruised ribs, shoulder completely fucked, hands fucked, blood noses) and I moved to different city. The group I was in was ruthless.

Fighting is like cleaning the soul. Especially in "friendly" fights. You punch each other in the face and afterwards you are good friends. You get rid of your frustrations and anger and afterwards you feel as calm as a baby. A lot of people do not get this. Fighting is healing for the mind.

Just like fucking, fighting is a great feeling. And I think needed. Otherwise you feel unfulfilled and try to get it from media (video games, violent movies, etc.)

If you do not get it from a sport. Just start a fight when you go out. Have some fun. Wooooo!
 
MNK99

MNK99

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"Fighting is like cleaning the soul. Especially in "friendly" fights. You punch each other in the face and afterwards you are good friends. You get rid of your frustrations and anger and afterwards you feel as calm as a baby. A lot of people do not get this. Fighting is healing for the mind."

HARD AS A PROFESSIONAL BRO. RUIN IMAGE SO FAST. Feel calm as a baby afterwards lol. I did like kickboxing, mma at 18-20. Quit......
But yes, not a dumbass kid anymore. Only fight in dojos, not in streets. Duly noted. Thank you.
 
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RebelWithACause

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2,613
MNK99 said:
"Fighting is like cleaning the soul. Especially in "friendly" fights. You punch each other in the face and afterwards you are good friends. You get rid of your frustrations and anger and afterwards you feel as calm as a baby. A lot of people do not get this. Fighting is healing for the mind."

HARD AS A PROFESSIONAL BRO. RUIN IMAGE SO FAST. Feel calm as a baby afterwards lol. I did like kickboxing, mma at 18-20. Quit......
But yes, not a dumbass kid anymore. Only fight in dojos, not in streets. Duly noted. Thank you.
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Otherwise cops will use violence on you - they have monopoly on violence. This is funny thing of the world. If cops use violence, and they like to - because they are human - we all like to dominate people - then it is OK and you are a "good" human. But when you or I use violence we will get thrown in jail. Of course you need it if you want civilisation to work. But still. You see that WITHOUT VIOLENCE or the threat of violence, civilisation cannot exist.

Violence is power. Which is why they want you to be a meek little sheep. People shame each other for violence. But violence is the end answer to everything. Always! Even if it is invisible.
 
MNK99

MNK99

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5,418
I'm a darkskinned guy lol, and I feel you on cops. Are cops jacked up in NL?
And yeah... after 18, they can literally shoot us for no reason (rare but still). Worse in huge cities and the States.

And yes... training physically and sex makes for great tension relief and antidepressants (except when it's all eratic and uncontrollable).
 
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RebelWithACause

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Hmm it seems like it goes up and down.

Today for example I feel kinda depressed. I feel confident and not stressed out but also light depression/emotional all day.

I also woke up without morning wood again.

Also low libido. Zero interest in sex.

It is weird. For a few days I felt top notch. Pre-finasteride. High libido and motivation. Now I feel kinda shitty.

It is easily dealing with this. But it is still below baseline.

I will keep updating. Next week I think I will get bloodwork.

Maybe I am on edge or something of healing. I do not know. It is still not stable enough to claim full recovery.

Can this be caused by too much potassium and magnesium? Maybe raising my progesterone too high? I am not taking crazy amounts. Just higher.
 
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Niles

Niles

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670
I think you're nearly there, but it sometimes takes 6+ months for recovery to stabilize. If you look at @Cdsnuts, @Damn, or Chi, they all were symptom free for weeks at a time but still had downswings towards the end of recovery.
 
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MNK99

MNK99

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Can't spell "Cunt" without "Can".
 
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RebelWithACause

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Cut out the raw dairy (yoghurt and kefir) and woke up with morning wood again. No more depressive feeling.

Maybe the raw dairy contains high amount of estrogen or something.

Also had sex dream again with wet dream. I am getting wet dream every week. It is kind of annoying. I dream of girl sucking my dick or fucking some girl. Wet dream kills my energy. It is annoying. I like the feeling I get after a week of not masturbating. You can run through a wall. Superman.

I am lowering my calcium intake since I am slow oxidizer I think. Maybe this was fucking me up.

Overall I am strong in the gym and gaining muscle. I think electrolytes are helping my strength. My muscles look full all day. This is without steroids.
 
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