stud's titan dht experience

[MNK99]

SO TRUE> That's why i like girls that have seen some shyt in their life too... So we can kind of get each other.
UNLIKE when a dumbass kid, where some think they're "on a pedestal."

Same with my 2 best friends in law or nearly in. Same in many ways with my brother (tho we definitely fought a lot). He was the perfect son, whereas I was fucking shyt up.
But, in adulthood... both kind of like that, a LOT. We are different tho, and that's ok.

You have siblings? Similar or quite different to you?

He taught me to see this as a means to an end (which I did) and that it doesn't matter, if it's at 22 or older. And that, regardless, there's always bs going on... and you need to stay the course, basically. And that it never counts really, but for getting in.

You read Above The Law?

You need to be somewhat selfish tho rite? Of course. Esp with so many fake hoes and guys (fake friends) out there, and bills to pay. Honor too.

 

[Area-1255]

SO TRUE> That's why i like girls that have seen some shyt in their life too... So we can kind of get each other.
UNLIKE when a dumbass kid, where some think they're "on a pedestal."

Same with my 2 best friends in law or nearly in. Same in many ways with my brother (tho we definitely fought a lot). He was the perfect son, whereas I was fucking shyt up.
But, in adulthood... both kind of like that, a LOT. We are different tho, and that's ok.

You have siblings? Similar or quite different to you?

He taught me to see this as a means to an end (which I did) and that it doesn't matter, if it's at 22 or older. And that, regardless, there's always bs going on... and you need to stay the course, basically. And that it never counts really, but for getting in.

You read Above The Law?

Yes, I have a Half-Brother and Half-Sister. My Sister is way different in Personality (of course, Expectedly!), my Half-Brother is SIMILAR in Analytical Capacity but also 'HELLA different...in that he is WAY LESS MOTIVATED toward Personal Conquests...Money etc..and is Way more Lazy in those same Aspects. But then again, I get my "Viking Blood" from BOTH my Mother and my Father...as far as I know his Conqueror Component only runs on Our Father's Side...but for me I 'got it on BOTH. Cursed with GREAT AMBITION and IMMUNITY TO PAIN - but LOVING OF CURIOSITY, NEW SIGHTS, TRAVEL - and an Occasional ZEST to hang up a GOAT SKULL in my Room and play Viking Music..as it brings back ANCIENT ENERGY. Then again...I'm probably' tapping into some EVIL SHIT there - so I get when I came for...just not gonna' let IT get me...but if I am to ASSUME about ANYTHING - maybe assuming whatever fucking 'Spirit is one way or another is GUIDANCE...after all, Even the LORD of LORDS appoints Demons to teach lessons, and allows people to be Prideful so they can recognize their Faults - and allows Satan in sometimes..so they recognize the Love from Christ.
I'm not sure - I share my Ancestor Rollo's contradiction in FAITH - THOR GIVES SO MUCH DAMN POWER!!!!!! Even though Thor probably translates into Leviathan from the Bible??? Or maybe Leviathan infiltrates prayers or sabotages prayers to Thor...or maybe Thor is really his own God - as it states in the Bible "For indeed there are many Gods and Many Lords" (1 CORINTHIANS 8:5) ...but I get why he STRUGGLED between the TWO GODS - the later Christian God he ACCEPTED in FEALTY of Charles the Simple (ever see the "Vikings" Series? TRUE SHIT. That REALLY HAPPENED!!! ...But how can you ABANDON a GOD that CARRIED YOU TO WHERE YOU GOT!!! In his Case, that THOR and the NORSE-GODS brought him and his Raiding/Negotiating Parties to PARIS, FRANKIA/FRANCE - AND THEN, only in to ASSIMILATE with the FRENCH PEOPLES - more to RULE over a SPECIFIC PORTION OF LAND HE HAD NEGOTIATED FOR HIMSELF IN EXCHANGE FOR PROTECTION FROM FURTHER VIKING ATTACKS.
...That of course, in French Tradition - he became a CHRISTIAN (CONVERTED). And although believing in it - and being a SOMEWHAT CIVILIZED, PEACEFUL PERSON LATER ONE...he struggled at the END OF HIS DAYS - with his Faith, bouncing from ONE GOD - TO ANOTHER!
...Like Me, Except I never will TRULY *LET GO* of my SEVERE FATALISM. Because its all I have sometimes. One destiny or another - HAS TO BE TRUE!
...Because they BOTH fit my Fancy - one aforementioned, in Marriage, Unity, Mutual Respect, having PLENTY of Wealth, Children, and things to pass down to those Children.
The other - being somewhat BLAND, WITH CAUSE', but ENTIRELY SELF-MOTIVATED, out of Fancying FAME ONLY - and WEALTH & POWER...DOES THE MIND NOT BECOME DULL!??

 

[MNK99]

You ever take a vow of silence? I probably seemed like a mute at times, but it was anxiety (pre adulthood).
In adulthood and later life... pretty fucking hard. I was trying to do what Auralius did.

NOFAP? Longest time? Mine's 46ish days. @Area-1255

After Effexor I said: "Fuck friends." But then made female friends and a couple gf's. Then I was like "Fuck male friends, don't need em." But later that changed too.

Need people, regardless of all the shyt that happens.

Ah I see, half-siblings, that's interesting man. Of c your sister is different lol.

---> That's true. "
, without HESITATION "you had a Father who was a Drunk, a Morbid Alcoholic, he Abused you, tried you CONTROL your Mother, And made you Feel PASSIVE, Depressed...then you started drinking, a bit as a 'Habit, because you thought it was "Right" - that it would 'Solve things (seemingly) as it did your Dad...but now here you are - in Trouble with the Law, locked up here, with US. On this Block. Am I right or Am I close?
...The guy responded : "Wow, that's all True, how do you know this, I've never met you, Right?"."

I just did this with some AZN rice rocket / street racer types, without even looking at them. My dad was like huh... --> BUT BMW's, other cars, like Integra's, you can tell.
-PLUS all my friends from like 8yrs ago.
-They watched SUITS, my parents... And I heard from outside, Pretty much know the whole thing now, supposedly gets very stupid later on anyways.

I always was like that, and damn good, bc made up for other cognitive difficulties. Everyone's different tho and has different talents.

-Unmarked cars, cops or not cops.
-Lesbian, gay or not... bisexual, you can also tell. Smart vs. Dumb. Super smart vs. very smart. Useless class vs good prof, lol.
-Drug user or not. All those kinds of things but less obvious things too, like other ppl who are ADHD. Or girls who are ADD inattentive.
-Even the meds kids are on when they're shaking like hell, you can kind of tell.
-Which meds someone used for migraines, I shock people a lot, but I don't like going into detail always, bc well you already know why, bc you know it too.
-Also, I knew I'd get PFS... but thought maybe once in a while I would not. AND that I needed a mood stabilizer (but this long and only used it 89 days, so clearly not true).
-so "I need it for the fucking hairloss." But yeah, lesson learned.... I guess. Yeah pretty much.
-But I also know, I'll fucking cure it too. And get what I want. And UNDERSTAND THE DARK SIDE, but not lose my integrity. Be true to myself and my code.
-Because at the end of the day, what else is there? The don, eats alone. It's lonely at the top.

 

[Area-1255]

YEAH. Be your own GOD man and ROLE MODEL. "Be you cuz everyone else is taken." (Jason King, a good friend). [and lots have probably said that.]

See if you admit "Clairvoyance" among other things to a Psychiatrist, and all this other stuff... looks fucked up, unless they are also like you. An elitist but also open and also masculine, and a risk taker.

" "bro, every sign about your Face, points to Mercury poisoning; the flushing, the red hands, the pink strips near your Nails, the Depression you exert around here, its there bro, its noticeable, and it ain't Good". (He replied "I think I remember a Doctor telling me that once, something about Mercury in my Bloodwork""

Exactly, that's why we make deep emotional connections quickly, because of that "formlessness", we get it.

You also said: "'Point is - you can't really be "Alpha" when you are running on PURE Adrenaline, now can You?" Yeah it's too animalistic at times, and too cross-wired at others.
That's why I was so scared to see a doc for yrs. But I got it then at 23 and more at 25 or so and more now, thanks to you.

I better make sure to only see the best of the best if I move to the states, holy shyt.

"...That's OK. Everybody 'around me has observed my 'Laziness at one point...why not You?"

They think it's laziness bc they don't see all the shyt behind it lol. And interesting work, you can do forever. Me too, my brother too. But there's often other things to deal with too. And unfortunately, NOT ALL work is 100% interesting all the time. It's a part of life.

A female cousin and her husband (he's into motorcycling a lot) both have seen Vikings and that other show, with the motorcycle - gang... With Charlie Hunnam ...
-whatever that's called.

-They named kids both gaelic or similar names.

-Manik: Precious Stone. Last name = Born Mafia acc. to Urban Dictionary. Lol. But, Rajastan. Warrior Caste. Not that I am some Fascist Caste type person.
A LOT are tho. Esp back there.

I mean ODDLY, I'm not the TYPE who will HALLUCINATE, see things or otherwise. When praying. Or doing anything at all.
I'm not going' to lose or RISK my Sanity.
...But I can't ignore a Coincidence that INVOLVES MORE THAN A COINCIDENCE.
...Meaning, I CAN'T simply IGNORE such DRAMATIC CHANGES within myself.
That have put me on this Pedestal.
Such things...which were never present, until first, ON AGE 14 YEARS OLD - that I dabbled in Spiritual Stuff, Contradictions, started to QUESTION THINGS. But it was at that Age I FIRST got into HERBALISM, mystical Shaman's Arts...it was at that time - that I think I slowly started to GRASP something EVEN BOTH OF MY PARENTS DIDN'T.
...And NOW, they FOLLOW MY INSPIRATION - DESPITE BEING 21 years OLDER THAN ME!!!!!!
WHY!??
Because they REALIZE IN THEIR ERRORS', SOMETHING I AM DOING.
...Is RIGHT. Logically thought out. Not baseless.
It changed me.
From a TIME Docs all said "I'd never be able to function on my Own without Medication"...
OR "your Sons brain is disorganized, he has severe Autism".
OF COURSE, THAT WAS RETRACTED AND REPLACED WITH A "SCHIZOTYPAL DIAGNOSIS"...
Followed by SCRATCHING THAT FOR OCD AND NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY!!!
...Then that was gone, FADED...into the Mist of the Whims of SO-MANY Psychiatrists who ONLY served to INSPIRE me to Entice myself with the GREAT knowledge of Pharmaceuticals and Herbal Medicine - which when combined - become MORE than a Formidable Force...they become a VACUUM-SEALED *DESTINY STAR* waiting to become a GOLDEN METEORITE. Maybe, as a TROPHY. Something much more. Now after this COMMENT - I will Stop with the CAPS.
As it appears...my Brain is a 'tad bit tired. And yet not.
I will rest for a few moments (probably NOT!), before resuming this Discussion in a more Organized, Civil and less ECCENTRIC, Manner.

 

[MNK99]

Yeah they reach, because they don't fucking know. No one fits the exact DSM-V (or III or any edn) criteria, 100% of the time.
Or if they do, they fit others too (like me).

"OF COURSE, THAT WAS RETRACTED AND REPLACED WITH A "SCHIZOTYPAL DIAGNOSIS"...
Followed by SCRATCHING THAT FOR OCD AND NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY!!!
...Then that was gone, FADED...into the Mist of the Whims of SO-MANY Psychiatrists who ONLY served to INSPIRE me"

Man, that's crazy about your son. I'm glad you found other ways out. I don't think meds for autism are clearly defined anyways. --> Although, these disorders do run in families, so it's not "that crazy". And manifest in different ways. It's just, not (precisely) what they say it is. Nor the catholics, nor the total 1000% natural health guys. It's a lot of things.

And the world is disordered too.

I have one good friend, High Functioning Aspergers, and for him Dexedrine, in his words: "Saved his life."
Another writer I know, who used to use Heroin (mostly I know him from Online), says the same.

Yeah I guess we adapt and "become smarter" when we come here, and can see "there" vs. "here", parents vs us, others vs us, you vs you, etc.
ME VS. EVERYTHING.

 

[MNK99]

There are no coincidences, yet simultaneously there are many. They just can't be 100% explained by a theory/model yet [For a countless number of phenomena].
I do have some Thought-Disorder stuff, I think. When writing papers for school. As a kid 2500 words. At 14 4000, later, way way more. But in mid 20's... 20,000--->950.
-950 word limit or 3000 word limits, and summer courses, that was a bitch!

Sometimes way way more... esp on crazy assignments... or on things that just could not be done on time. Like 6 courses in a summer, post BPII diagnosis....
and losing a girl, bc I stopped going, then circumventing rules (bc I fucking had to). Not cheating, I mean, getting accomodations after the fact, or trying to.

Cool profs were ok with it. But I could not explain anything at 21 or 22 the right way.

Area-1255 said: "...The question will always be - whether Separation and a Fury of Disorganization will ever become APPARENT as an ILLUSION or the WORST NIGHTMARE ON EARTH - that a disorganization of THOUGHTS - at one point becomes a HORRIBLE REALITY. O"

-I think that only happened during my 12-15months on Effexor, for any reasonably bad amount of time. Possibly after but for a night 3hrs, minutes, seconds.
-And also on Marijuana sometimes. But not in 3-4yrs.
-I did see some things as a kid though, but didn't believe in them, and happened after watching a scary movie.
-also Sleep Hypnogogia. @Area-1255
-Get back whenever bro. Godspeed!

 

[Area-1255]

You ever take a vow of silence? I probably seemed like a mute at times, but it was anxiety (pre adulthood).
In adulthood and later life... pretty fucking hard. I was trying to do what Auralius did.

NOFAP? Longest time? Mine's 46ish days. @Area-1255

After Effexor I said: "Fuck friends." But then made female friends and a couple gf's. Then I was like "Fuck male friends, don't need em." But later that changed too.

Need people, regardless of all the shyt that happens.

Ah I see, half-siblings, that's interesting man. Of c your sister is different lol.

---> That's true. "
, without HESITATION "you had a Father who was a Drunk, a Morbid Alcoholic, he Abused you, tried you CONTROL your Mother, And made you Feel PASSIVE, Depressed...then you started drinking, a bit as a 'Habit, because you thought it was "Right" - that it would 'Solve things (seemingly) as it did your Dad...but now here you are - in Trouble with the Law, locked up here, with US. On this Block. Am I right or Am I close?
...The guy responded : "Wow, that's all True, how do you know this, I've never met you, Right?"."

I just did this with some AZN rice rocket / street racer types, without even looking at them. My dad was like huh... --> BUT BMW's, other cars, like Integra's, you can tell.
-PLUS all my friends from like 8yrs ago.
-They watched SUITS, my parents... And I heard from outside, Pretty much know the whole thing now, supposedly gets very stupid later on anyways.

I always was like that, and damn good, bc made up for other cognitive difficulties. Everyone's different tho and has different talents.

-Unmarked cars, cops or not cops.
-Lesbian, gay or not... bisexual, you can also tell. Smart vs. Dumb. Super smart vs. very smart. Useless class vs good prof, lol.
-Drug user or not. All those kinds of things but less obvious things too, like other ppl who are ADHD. Or girls who are ADD inattentive.
-Even the meds kids are on when they're shaking like hell, you can kind of tell.
-Which meds someone used for migraines, I shock people a lot, but I don't like going into detail always, bc well you already know why, bc you know it too.
-Also, I knew I'd get PFS... but thought maybe once in a while I would not. AND that I needed a mood stabilizer (but this long and only used it 89 days, so clearly not true).
-so "I need it for the fucking hairloss." But yeah, lesson learned.... I guess. Yeah pretty much.
-But I also know, I'll fucking cure it too. And get what I want. And UNDERSTAND THE DARK SIDE, but not lose my integrity. Be true to myself and my code.
-Because at the end of the day, what else is there? The don, eats alone. It's lonely at the top.

Agreed. Everything has its place. It certainly is Lonely at the Top. Hell, its lonely all the way through - if that's what you Believe.
Can always change that. Make room for more Peoples to get involved. A "selected few" perhaps. Those who understand and honor your Objectives.
Those same people - made as Partners, become Reinforcers, and mutual Achievement becomes Natural.
Since - if there isn't any understanding, then there's no Synchronization. Then there's Connection. No furthering. Nothing beyond. Nothing ahead. Nothing to see. Nothing to Dream of. Nothing to Invision.
I agree - sensing people on drugs, or this or that...pretty easy, you don't have to look at Demographics or Ethnic Background, for that.
The look in somebody's eyes does it MOST of the time.
In the other half...maybe just the Velocity of their Speech. The timely, untimely appearances or disappearances.
The habits they pick up.
A hint of whether one has become more Reckless, or Less.
There's a good hint in itself.

 

[MNK99]

Area-1255 said:

"In the other half...maybe just the Velocity of their Speech. The timely, untimely appearances or disappearances.
The habits they pick up.
A hint of whether one has become more Reckless, or Less.
There's a good hint in itself."

All that stuff too haha yes.

Since 24 or so I keep people on different levels and close friends are close no matter where they move or go.
Some friends, you outgrow though and not to be a mean person or a crappy person, but bc they really hold you back. For sure.

 

[Area-1255]

"In the other half...maybe just the Velocity of their Speech. The timely, untimely appearances or disappearances.
The habits they pick up.
A hint of whether one has become more Reckless, or Less.
There's a good hint in itself."

All that stuff too haha yes.

Yup! I once knew this Girl who was decently Happy, went to work a Retail Job at a Mall Outlet, then some dude she had been with for 2-years, broke her Heart and cheated on her the DAY of Their Engagement, before and After anything went down, then broke it off WITH HER, immediately after telling her, then SLAPPING HER...a few months later...she starting buying METH pills online...within another two months, she went from Homeless to Prostituting herself (which she had never done) to back into an Apartment...chronically Depressed. I feel bad. But this shit - the CITY LIFE...life of the hard-knocks 'Man...you can Survive in NY you can Survive ANYWHERE!!! That's the Truth! Still...its Depressing if you think about that sh!t. That's why I don't. But it happens all the time to people you don't even know! And worse. You can't imagine what the next Person is going through.

 

[MNK99]

Last sentence is so true man.
You never know what someone's going through.
Underneath the empty smile or empty look.
"Got a lot going on beneath the empty smile." - Mos Def.
And that's a horrible story.

That guy's a horrible person.

Knew a very pretty girl, got into law, somehow became an escort. Meth, etc. She went to rehab. I don't think it worked. She was a great girl and hid a lot. Not sure what happened but I imagine unless she quit, it's not good.

 

[Area-1255]

Last sentence is so true man.
You never know.
And that's a horrible story.

That guy's a horrible person.

Knew a very pretty girl, got into law, somehow became an escort. Meth, etc. She went to rehab. I don't think it worked. She was a great girl and hid a lot. Not sure what happened but I imagine unless she quit, it's not good.

Yup - Meth can mess with your Impulses 'for sure! 'Especially for 'Women!

 

[jacknap]

I know a lot of Swedish Women and German women are like that. There's this small proportion of Nordic-Women that are almost "too manly". No thanks!

they're still hot but they take the worst qualities of masculinity and none of the goods ones (eg) being easily dtf)

 

[Area-1255]

they're still hot but they take the worst qualities of masculinity and none of the goods ones (eg) being easily dtf)

Is easily DTF really a "masculine" quality?
I'd say its more like easily and broadly submissive.
Appealing to us, Yes, but depending on how far they take it - may turn them into Non-Wifey Material. Zam!

 

[MNK99]

-1. RE: Size Queens

-QUOTE="Helen, post: 30749, member: 90"]Does this gel make the ruler smaller LOL , or since you got to be not 18 but 8 now, things look bigger to you[/QUOTE]
Maybe she had a big Vagina. I'm sure yours is pretty and pink and perfect. @Stud

-

-Not you, @Stud. Just some size-queens. Usually zero's personality wise, even if they are 6-8. Or even 9's or higher, still hoes.
-SO many feels in this thread, I felt I had to dumb it down.

-2. RE: Over Exertion of Penissary Exercise:

Use a bathmate bro your peewee will get fat ass hell like a balloon ))

-Isn't this just like Jelqing in that it can cause injury? Obviously, you're not supposed to do it the wrong way.
-Too risky with NOFAP for some. I feel.

-3. RE: Freebasing Progesterone:

@Stud. "Ray Peat is my Man... something... I don't think he has a penis anymore/ progesterone, etc."
-I could eat progesterone or freebase it or insufflate it, no permanent issue. I wouldn't because I'm not insane. And why wouldn't it destroy me? I can guess, but I do not know for sure.

-4. RE: Dangers of Self Abuse:
@Helen, regarding a guy: "I think you drink an entire of bottle of vodka before posting." Vodka can be extremely depressing, but it does not do that to people.
-Bang someone you don't know, wake up in a forest, hate yourself... sure, that is possible. The rest? I don't think so. But I only did 3-4 yrs (thousands of drinks tho).
-20-40yrs of daily hard vodka drinking?? FUCK. It's over man.

-5. RE: Over-Analysis of Human Scalps, and Self-Analysis:
- BRB. Putting all my naked pics from childhood to adulthood on Kazaa.
- Any of you study and compare the scalps of 100-200 people a day and take mental notes when you started shedding? @RebelWithACause
- Is this "Normal" ?

Finally someone's asking the real questions.

 

[Area-1255]

@MNK99, VERY fascinating bro you are!...

 

[Area-1255]

the bad psychological effects are probably from being underfed because it increases food demand alot. I feel amazing when i eat 3500+ calories. also ive been eaating alot of crap on holidays like kebab, pizza, lasagna probably full of puffa and it doesn't seem to influence me in any negative way. be it mood, skin, edema…
ps: people in the UK are fatt as hell never thought it would be that bad. feel like an outcast being single digit bodfat

WhaAaat! England is Fat!?? No Way!

 

[Area-1255]

BRO deleting this, but since you are a super genius do you have advice for Pedro Melo on finasteride crash? I am 6ft 190lb he is 5'6 148-156 i think........ I really do not know what to say. SRS spanish--> english barrier too.... ????

Don't know. Don't know his experience. Does he have a Thread???

 

[MNK99]

HE DOES MAN, you was on it. Haha. BUT ya, Ill point you there. THANK YOU! Good guy. My ni99a.

https://hackstasis.com/threads/help...drome-and-all-sintomns.1097/page-3#post-31022

 

[Area-1255]

HE DOES MAN, you was on it. Haha. BUT ya, Ill point you there. THANK YOU! Good guy. My ni99a.

https://hackstasis.com/threads/help...drome-and-all-sintomns.1097/page-3#post-31022

You've got me Engaged in a New Thread, Congrats @MNK99!

 

[MNK99]

JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!