MNK's Log. PSSD Recov 12-18mo 10', PFS recov 11m-16mo 18’. —Studying/Work now. And hEDS.

[MNK99]

--RE: 11.44am 1.27.2025:

This log is literally "rapid logging", pre meditatioin and or bullet jrnl, and pre or in middle of work.
--it is for ADHD... and anxiety, and hEDS/HSD at this pt and trauma prolly 5 yrs ago, I was off here 3 yrs and discord like 3-4yrs nearly... and site was down. But i had to fix trauma. ketamine, carnivore.
--I'm just fixing anxiety, depression (forever ideally both), trauma (same), and a disability, or at lst treating some of these and curing the rest.. and being as functional as I can be... ADHD as well.
as

--this is in regard to what to do for PFS, PSSD, etc:
As in what I would do and what I did and what I'd modify to make it easier, to understand:
--also I made a plan with 2 prominent members here then adapted it, did things they did, and some others, and mostly just me in end.


--I had PSSD maybe 2009-2010. A lot was habits, and stuff. It wasn't just from medicine, I had a lot of bad things going on around me. Anyways, that was diet and exercise (like hardcore diet and exercise, no forums back then). I had PFS 2017-2018, I did most of TMO, electrolyte protocol, ru486 and various things on Hackstasis, as well as some TEI. I currently take some vitamins but they are random, I took some for yrs after 2018, then ran out and stopped. I am taking some stuff for a disability, hEDS/HSD, and that is all experimental (test cream and dex, and a sarm, or a safer secondary anabolic). I'm trying to treat/cure anxiety and trauma, also at times depression. With things like carnivore, ketamine, and also keeping habits (rebuilding after many injuries), such as nofap, training pre sunrise, OMAD and less, strength training, meditation etc... I will take care of the hypermobility, as well as long term CPTSD (and possibly other stuff but for sure those, ADHD, CPTSD, anxiety).


If that fails, I'll try orthomolecular medicine. Really doubt strict carnivore fails for ppl like me, that respond to keto and low carb diets. I know most won't stick to it, possibly incl me, but until I am lean again, I can mostly stick to it, like 95-97% carnivore ideally 27-28/30days at a time. If I went into deep ketosis, or water fasted first, it would be a lot easier. If I was going to treat PFS or PSSD from scratch, knowing what I learned thru exp, and on H/S forum, I'd 1. Water fast, 2. Run Electrolyte protocol, 3. Run TEI (mostly for other health issues). IN that order, I did that, but also the other stuff. That is for me, though I suspect those things would help most people. If I couldn't make some sense of H/S, I'd Fast then run TMO.

However, I solved PSSD pre forums... for me, not for everyone (bc how the hell would I know what ev person needs to do?), and ya i was fasting 20 yrs ago, one meal a day, carb backloading, getting sunlight, cold and hot showers mixed, etc etc (in like minus 50 canada or plus 40 toronto at times). Mostly, im treating neck pain, anxiety, trauma, joint dislocations. Not pfs stuff rite now. but I do regret not trying test cream, dht cream earlier. However, yeah I mean by themselves, I am sure they're not that useful for a lot of ppl with PFS, but fearing it made no sense, esp after I detoxed everything, and rebuilt. I should have tried that and anavar in 2018 end or 2019-2020. I was busy with work and school, but i waited till 2022 to try some test, mostly useless, then later for cream, which works, I may just have shutdown now (I mean I do, I'm on test and or gear but I may have been shutdown for a long time).

I felt pretty cured 2018 end and I did or mostly did for years. pretty sure mostly it is trauma. I can have sex, and cured the other 39-40 symptoms (say 4-5 were sexual) like 6.5-7yrs ago. The rest, ya i mean i felt super cured at times, mostly do now but I have a lot of anxiety and am using a lot of weed... and ya my income is 100% trading/ investing related. That is stressful, as is other stuff that I'm pursuing. If internet is gone, well IDK im pretty sure supps etc a lot are gone, but Id fast and use something like TEI or electrolyte protocol. That short list of 1-3 is what id do, plus or minus ru486, ellaone... if only wanting natural i'd do one and two only. If 6.8 and "can't fast", then id just do 2 and 3 or TMO.

So, I still feel pretty cured but anxiety, and trauma, and coming out of a depression. I couldn't lift, and could barely walk at times, and had dislocations around neck etc,... and heart pain, after vax.
That was yrs ago tho, but I was really down, doing a lot better now. But 20mo or so 24mo i wa pretty distraught a long part of that.. I gave up for a time, but ya mostly
--HRT+ and dexedrine, bracing/taping, and psychedelics, if there's ever infertility, or need to sexual function max, I mean i will respond greatly to mast, primo, test, test cream, dht cream, ostarine, lgd etc.
--I mean most of those are for looks, fitness, and recomping, and some are for actual disability reasons, but running some of those, then restarting with Marek Health's protocol would fix whatever 2-3% PFS remains, if I even have any (anymore).

-- --I did like 40 things jan to dec 2018. But like 15-20 of those things are encapsulated by TMO, Fasting, electrolyte protocol/TEI. Many of them are just good lifestyle habits, discipline things, that I did like decades (tho it does get ruined when my health, depression get screwed up). if I wanted to further optimize now, I'd run more TEI, or just stick to targeted approaches I'm running now, and improve upon them, and try other ones (for trauma, ADHD, and a disability *all unrelated* to PFS). People will say "this doesn't work", but I mean TEI worked for me day one. but I did a lot. I mean it worked for issues from childhood day one. Like sleeping, and asthma, etc. retaining superphysiological (at lst it looked like it, maybe near genetic potential) LBM, for years. I only did one cycle. I wasn't going to get strung along for 2-3yrs for ADHD, traum--spatial awareness, ligament laxity, and like proprioception, but also being able to "slow down". potentially autism (the extreme shyness, and rejecting of people -me to them mostly), but other stuff as well. a tho and spinal/ neuro things (mostly ADHD, ig autism also, but hEDS/HSD,

-- --ain't no easy fix for trauma, nor a disability... nor anxiety unfortunately, but TEI did quell anxiety for like 12-18mo, even fear of failure, and rejection sensitivity dysphoria. If carniv, ketamine, and some "HRT+", dex, don't help... then only natural doesn't help, then I'll use TEI but I mean I am pretty sure MDMA, ketamine, Psilocybin are helping millions of ppl with trauma, anxiety and the like. Maybe fix stuff with the other natural and non natural things I'm doing, and then "further balance" with TEI but I mean I probably balance a lot eating every 22-30hrs or so. Sometimes I have collagen, in coffee, with progesterone, or cannabis (or both). Cannabis, helps me slow down and actually talk to ppl, and not ignore ev1, but surely the psychedelics are stronger. And like cannabis can hurt gross motor skills for like 12 or even 20 maybe even 24hrs at times, if used a lot( like smoking). Vaping and or tinctures and sprays are much better but for sure can make joint instability far worse.

--"facial tics" aren't tics.. etc. many conditions look like other stuff. literally hypermobility. even in forehead i have some.. like eyebrows always raised. that and some other stuff is stims tho.
--"tremors", "tics" are literally ligament laxity.


----
Disability Realizations:


--things that I thought I had at times were all literally joint instability ligament laxity. Like "facial tics", or not being able to control facial movements, literally hypermobility. Even dexedrine or stims make me raise my eyebrows constantly. ALso, I hide my emotions a lot, so things that make u smile like an idiot, cannabis... yeah I hated that as a kid. the ligament laxity, coupled with worsened proprioception, and becoming more injury prone, make things like cannabis/ psychedelics a "stay at home drug", till I am used to it. I can go outside and chill but to lift hard, I'd wait a few hrs. That is with vaping, and AVB, and like tinctures. Some homemade stuff. If I was smoking? I am sure gross motor skills are rekt for 12-24hrs, ADHD, intelligence all way worse, but it isn't "being stupid", a lot of it is literally a disability. I don't get it tho, lots with EDS use medical cannabis. I am sure weed is bad for a lot of people's coordination, but it never affected like nearly anyone I've seen like it does me. but people with scoliosis, hEDS, other connective tissue disorders, and like major ADHD can get rekt by it. I've taken it everyday for 5days, and like 100d, like most days straight at times in lockdown. Definitely, any drug, I need to be in right mental space. If 80% of life is going well, and I'm fit.. then it's fine. Even a drink on a date is fine... enuff, but it "isn't fine", for strict carnivore nor optimizing for harm reduction.


Psychedelics will be even better. Esp., ketamine for now (soon). Gotta give ppl, esp women a chance. Most ppl can't hurt me and most wouldn't. And sure some would but most ppl aren't that bad.
Some are even amazing and great. many are but I write off 99.99% of em. But ya im busy, but make more time for em and friends. Gonna meditate and bullet jrnl more.

Market Anxiety:

--can't watch myself lose out on easy 200-300 400k every few weeks, if i just sold TSLA. Worst case it is a pos stock... and is a new WORLDCOM /ENRON, only with a magnitude of 10-100x maybe 1000x worse. But regardless ill make 60k 100k 150k 500k here and there on it. NEED MORE CYNGIN, a couple NANCY PELOSI stocks like TEMP I think or TEM, and also... sofi, get sofi again. i had generational low prices for that shyt, but i had to get out. TSLA beats earnings, and does robotaxi, and takes over ai.. and ya 100% price up, and other shyt, as world economy hastens for gdp increases to top 0.1 and 1-2 percent but mostly really wealthy ppl.. and fucking over tons of mid class and poor ppl... well well this shyt will 10-20x. FSD and car sales and new shyt 100% price.. and better earnings wall st catching up 150 and 2x etf 3x.. 300% more than my 160 so 480-500 percent and later 1000s of percent but if tsla fails fuck it get other shyt. and get SUI SOL and avaax etc.... gotta go.

Even slurring words, and talking less fast etc is neuro (tho the latter is kind of good for a lot of ppl). it isn't "hard drugs", i slurred more on effexor than on coke yrs later, I'm certain. Even that is hEDS/HSD.

--finally... one shoes in yday, lifted twice a couple d ago, too busy to hit gym yday, but will today. brace soon ideally today or tmro.. then make some money, mitigate damge to acct somewhere, and then get UGL, for Marek's and also for having test around. Get rx test cream and dex... a new test cream script 100 or 150 200mg, and dex. --tk rad140 if i feel i should and if osta is too weak, but i mean sure u wont look like a superhero as quickly, but a 9.5/10 safe compound vs a 5-6/10 safe compound that rekts hair and lipids and suppresses like fk, and all that. idk. get ru58841. maybe. just adding gym, and eating red meat... then sardines.. even with weed, and prog, ill still recomp, then cut with more muscle. i look fairly good but i mean ya i look n feel better really lean. plus more likely to get a hair cut ev 6-8wks maybe ev 6-wks or so..., when things r running smoothly n i have time, and am closer to places, or downtown.

--extended water fasting, strict carnivore, TEI, ketamine, psilocybin, mdma, or medical cannabis (vaped, AVB, tinctures/ sprays*** especially) would have prevented Accutane use, Effexor use. And like I'd only use weed and dex. Or ketamine and dex. Maybe some androgens, maybe those would have prevented anxiety, depression too. Acne? i mean fasting 2-3 weeks at 16 or 17 would have been fine. also prolly 6'4 6'5 rather than 6'0 if strict carniv as a kid. which means id be fucking huge.. considering my wingspan is bigger than many taller and shorter guys. literally be perfect af nearly. but ya i mean u cannot easily cure trauma, anxiety, etc forever... and we were all misguided, in west and everywhere due to profit maxing firms and immoral actors in capitalism/oligarhcical capitalism, monopolistic, and cartel market structures). I mean Canada, but USA also (closer to pure capitalism, still chroniism, and psychopathy of the firm... plays a huge role there and fucks ev1 globally). Tech lords now too.

 

[MNK99]

--ADHD/ rapid logging post shower. [pre 2 workouts]:
--late shd be am. hav emore margin and tight as fuck 3% stop losses this will never happen agn i mean being late 10d ina row...w ell i mean i do have serious ADHD. but still.... i am pretty fucking reigimented. it is hard tho for sure to keep up.
--so no fuckups with ml coin etc.. and better stops in profit for stocks. then secure hella cash buy majoir dips. get 15k usd in 25k later. and later make a bag that goes to 100k-200k usd... and secure 40-50k cad. i am not swimming in mny this is making back some losses yrs ago.. and ive already made back initial investemnets in spades.. but this is so i can go to law ansd not wrry abt mny and pay some parents retrirement/ rent.. and live well. but ya even when "semi rich
" 500kusd etc i mean ill live 30k a yr here at home or less. 20k 15k 10k. and like 40-50k later on own agn then like 70k-120k a yr in toronto well not 110.. later when married w kids sure..
--k got 2 NB sneakers in.. seems same dif color.. wtf the names are crazy and one was more expensive. i guess that's how shoes esp shoes from last yr or yr before go.
--got spinova osteo brace, from Bauersfeind.
--need; VEGM -- vits ancillaries to stay safe tudca b2 b6 or b1 i think rather.. and mg and like... milk thistle. then earphones.. then test var. hcg... and nolva or enclomiphene. try getting last v hard. and medicine.
-- vegm = vits, earphones, gear, medicine. also nicotine ejuice and weed. oh ffs. so 1800 1900 or so. anyways get some fiat, cash in 10 k 20k 30k whatever the fk usd. a lot
--. even 10k is good that is like 10k lqd cash a mo.
--do that 5x a yr... at times and get like... 100-200k gains in cad, in stocks. and some yrs way more. and also some sick trades in crypto for 100-150kusd ideally.
--generate cash flow in.
--incorporate. make it a legit business more. it is but i want to min tax liability.
--can make killer gains way above all of these, but I am being conservative and I don't need mofos knowing how m I have here there wherever.

--so I got like 12 or 18 medical supply store, kinesio tapes. I hope these aren't trash. 150 usd. I paid like 1000 or more usd. in 2022 for hella tape (some not sticking anymore, but I must have used all the ones I like). The Japanese ones are the best. Canadian or American ones are mostly trash, tho Hampton Tape is pretty good and helpful. I got that spinal brace. Looks hardcore... I will use when needing to, but I need to learn how to use it. Definitely has its uses, rather than a cheapo brace and hella tape (but that is more flexible, and u can throw it around, this is like 320-350usd, retail 900-1200 with the one attachement im missing, like 890-950 easily, just this). I am glad I only paid 350usd or so. Even that is crazy. SHould be like 200 bucks. I guess it will come in handy, definitely is comfy for the most part, but yeah it looks like an exoskeleton. Subbed Rad140 for Ostarine today, that way I won't feel like throwing up /liver damage and hair loss. I will get v.e.g.m. gear (var and test e and hcg and nolva), vits, cheap shure ep for gym, and medicine: Test cream need new script refills gone, and also dex get refill, but see doc, get more dex on hand 90d ideally rather than 30d (or 60d+ for me), and get 150-200mg test cream. THis is mostly for hEDS/ADHD and sure anxiety, preventing depression, injuries, joint instability... but also weed for being happy,


or like psychedelics,


ketamine... easier to date for sure. I can slow down, easier to deal with people. Test cream, dex, ostarine, later var... and test e are for form and function, the psychedelics and weed (not all at once, one thing per 6mo-1yr basically) is for long term trauma (C-PTSD). I am of course doing natural things as well Like 95-98% carnivore or 100 percent at times, and also: may do TEI later, but probably will stick to omad and less and carniv and nofap (all for anx, depresn, trauma, unwiring bad habits and perspectives, and rewiring positive ones, and hardwiring them in). Habits 1st, then Discipline 2nd, then studying (whether TA, or that test, or later school). Bullet journalling more, and keeping digital planner. need to meditate more.

-- MNK 1.27.2025. 6.05pm eastern. Get 500-2k cad or so and buy dip on this one trash coin and murder it.. make 5k 10k 15k 20kusd... and cash that in and buy the fking vitamins i need, cheap earphones, 370-400, and like... gear 1000, and medicine 400.. so like 1800 rite there cad tho. and keep float. good. and expenses at home beyond way beyond that is there, but also medical expenses.. then do it agn... and then have bags that get to 150-200k usd.. and stocks get 300-400k cad this yr stat. but not rushing. set aside 90d to study for l.

And also... 45-60d or so fot TA. can't concentrate, gotta workout. looking good, looking amazing soon. need a haircut, wouldn't mind ru58841 but i mean test cream/dht, osta/var/, dex a low dose, and some coffee/nicotine is fine enuff. I can of c quit all coffee n nicotine and even dex perhaps, with carniv... and perhaps test cream/dht cream, but i mean i got money to make, and shyt to study for and people to meet.

I also want to look superphyisioological ripped and more cut, and more... stable joiints i want. less disability. but ya dont want to hurt hair lipids liver kidneys die young.. so ya. harm reduction and safe cycles only. Rad140 not being part of that... that much. lgd, osta, var, test.. safe. SOme other stuff too but im barely taking fuck all. Now only 100mg/ml test cream a week zero test cyp, maybe osta 10mg a day, maybe osta 10-15mg a day and 5mg rad every other day, till i get var.. ill see. no hair shyt, osta dex test cream like 15% liver load w vits and my good genes for liver... and like 45% 60% with rad and cough syrup so fuck that. maybe 12-17% load on anavar. just estimates. say 50 is v bad say 60-70 is failure 80-90 is dead.

--i got rid of anxiety for 18mo maybe most of it 2 yrs and adhd was lazer focused still is mostly tho but i need to exercise a lot... and meditate more. and that other stuff, idk rejection sensitivty dysphoria, fear of failure... was a lot better. i mean law school is a bonus, if ur rich from self employment. but things take time. like i can get 93-95th percentile on lsat (and have) but ya i hate tests. I had a- to b + in most of masters econ... better anxiety stuff, way less time wasted, less disability, easier too. so that's why i'd rather choose psychedelics for trauma and weed for now (stabilizes mood), and a stim.. and some androgens. Ill keep all that on hand, so i never lose time depressed /traumatized again. Nor disabled ideally, even tho I mostly have a "minor" disability.

--got a lot of medical supply store kinesio tape (probably Japanese tape is better, the original.. i have had lots of that, but just started using it agn, i spent like 1000 dollars on that, in 2022 bc of movement disorder and neck pain). Got that spinova osteo brace, I guess I should get pelvic support. It looks hardcore, but It will save time.. I think it is the right size. Medium, I am cutting so it won't be too big nor too small. I think u have to mold the spinal part... Fk, I may screw that up. Shouldn't be too hard. Yeah I mean it should be snug. Seems protective, but definitely missing pelvic support (which I did on purpose, but I'll prolly buy that too). Like 500-550 cad, retail 1200 or 1100. This is a really cheap place, but our dollar is so undervalued (it will go up eventually, but USD will continue tearing it up).


--half the anxiety i mean, ya i was disabled. walking back downtown toronto sketchy af areas at times (it is all sketchy, even if u have 2mn dollar condo, or go to med school or law school, even sketchier then bc schools are surrounded by the ghetto. mine was, york u). but freaking out, lying down and staying over at frd's places to not get hurt, was due to heds/hsd. i see i mean i realized this a long time ago, but ya most ppl can still walk after smoking weed (i am just using edibles, tinctures, sprays ideally - that i can add to fat and coffee, like an hr or 2 before prog, test, and dex). i sip some at nite tho, or after shower. I no longer freak out and wish it was over tho unlike when i was 19-20 on effexor and weed and vodka. many ppl with heds/hsd, resort to drinking. only good drugs for me. dex is safer than all other adhd medicine (tho for sure addictive for many ppl). only properly used weed. only ketamine, psilocybin, mdma. and the like. no smoking, only vaping. ideally no trash coffee/ starbucks, but i mean idk i have some funds but it feels stupid spending 1500 ayr on coffee, and 1000 or so on nicotine.. prolly 2500 rite there, plus if i picked up my full adhd medication dose another 1500-1800. braces and tape like 800-1500. ridiculous. can save like 3000-4000 a yr, just eating meat, altho that is like 5k-7k. inflation is insane in canada. i live where oil and beef is. top five beef in world. canada get's it's act together, this will be a rich city once agn. defs fx health. ill be a multimillionaire and not want to waste half on tax... and like 1/3 on living. that is trash. u take care of health better when u have nothing to worry abt. but u can be poor and healthy too.

--transferring to york u was worst idea ever. uoft was like 20mins from any condo i ever had in toronto. or less. and ryerson had like 10-19k ppl. and tons of babes. york u had many of the hottest people, however, i mean commjuting 4hrs or a 100 dollar cab to an exam. esp with disability... and that was murder capital (area around York U). Sketchy. never agn. ill go to nice places only. saving up for a nice condo or like if i have 20-30yrs of rent in a few places, then i can chillax. it is easier living downtown than at home, esp if u don't drive much. same time i mean... the nicest condo i could get will be like way smaller than my house. rather save and live cheap. if in toronto and life costs 60-70k a yr, save up 500k 600k... and like 2-4mn. if at home and life costs 12k or so 15-18k, save up a lot. ya. anyways doing well. im aite. hope ev1 is cool. gonna go lift.

--so what i thought was tremors, tics, in early 20s mid 20s and stuff at times... and like a few yrs ago. that was cervical instability (minor thank god), and just overall joint instability. weed making someone dumber, if used as a drug, and not medically (i mean smoking it makes no sense, u kill the beneficial compounds). i wasn't just "freaking out", i was literally risking my physical health and saftey, smoking it only like 18mo or so over ten yrs ago. but then like4-5x a yr here and there maybe 10 initially in early 20s. no wonder i hated it so much. doing pyschedelics the rite way, or cannabis... is much better. def feels mood stabilizing but for sure i can get anxiety attacks. they may be half hr or an hr. prolly like 2-3hrs and racing thoughts at 16 (over school and possibly vanity, loneliness. i since got really good looking and ya that didn't cure anxiety forever so wtf). prolly autism. rapes anxiety as well.

--it's fking crazy how i can be ultraconfident, aloof.. and also like initmidate others, but also have soul crushing anxiety at times. for sure a lot better than 16-20. or 23-25. still there, stims make it like an hr or half an hr, and slow down.. so maybe have to fuck off 3-4hrs a day, but... i mean that is better than freaking out for hrs on end like at 16 and at 21. no wonder ssri's etc are appealing to ppl with severe depression and anxiety, i mean u need to live. psychdelics, carnivore, tei, fasting are all better. also it isnt a matter of being fit, i mean i worked out like 15x a week in early 20s. literally only worked out 8-12x a week, bc of literal disability.. injury, and when i got older 29 31 etc. im talking to me.

not .. at 190lbs always training 185 never enhanced. 179 kinda skinny. 210 cutting. im fiter than 10)% of ppl at weight room in rec ecnetre and in prime agnst athletes like 97-99% i trained and took the risk. and ya id win in a fight or war. or apocalypse. def in trading, def in law, def in a fight, life or death scenario. i try being good and kind. but ppl piss me off.

--there's no singular effective treatment for CPTSD, (possible autism), nor hEDS/HSD. I do what I need to. And will heavily leverage ketamine soon. Leveraging androgens, i.e. "HRT+", for better joint stability, better recovery, better ability to increase volume (which was higher than 98% of ppl at 18-22 also, on nothing, or even on physique destroying effexor xr and the like), that and a stim.., help proprioception, and gross motor skills to a degree. Quite a lot actually. Considering weed can ruin it, and dex can fix that in like an hr or so. Ostarine, rad140, but better yet safer, longer studied compounds, in addn to test. I took b1 b6 mg enzymes hcl turmeric, d/k, d, coffee with cannabis oil and prog, and water, and water with taurine today... and test cream, and like 20-30mg of test cyp (I ran out), and 15mg ostarine. I will take dex, after weed high is not at peak. Literally covered in tape, will workout when i can, but added main gym. and ive worked out like 30 yrs worth by like 30, compared to most ppl so. i mean, i can workout hard get cut and recomped in 10-15weeks maybe a bit longer due to neck pain but whether 192 195 210lbs overweight or 179 skinny. still stronger than like 95% ofppl at gym. ev1 i saw the last 2 days, but the real athletic ppl weren't there, and ya i mean i win despite disability so fk them.

 

[MNK99]

--Appointments and getting things on time and ahead of time is a pain in the ass:

--perhaps its being type a but i cant stop thinking about VEGM and N AND C. I.e. vitamins, earphns, gear, Medicine and aptmts (for test cream, dex refills and new script, then ketamine), and nicotine and cannabis.

If i was higher i wouldn't think abt it, i can chill on nice cool breeze patio but guess what i need that shyt and could be down 50k and like... have all my banks fucked up due to crypto, mostly due to canada and idiots trying to steal from me/ hack me (all that's sorted, so fuck u whoever those ppl were).

--i can't study or workout or study the ta, without haircut.. and without all the stuff errands done.

fuck

disability worsens i cant just go run to the store esp in nbhood. and even alone downtown im not going to buy 5 dif things spend 3hrs.. fuck that, just order. costs the same or less.
ten orders pay 50 dollars shipping... 5 dollars. not even most what i order is free ish shipping or part of Amazon Prime.

Fuck it just order what i need. and get on the phone w doc's office.

--pain in the ass for sure, hEDS/HSD and ADHD. I mean I did 5-6 phone calls, changed like 3-maybe 4 cards, banking issues. i mean most of that is redtape of "1st world canada" (LOL id make 20mn dollars more in like 50 different countries, and get a phd and jd and md in like 2 yrs, and date more models, and fucking workout whenever i want bc a miserable existence isnt 20-99k a yr (encompassing all of canada and realistic professional endeavors). I can't get a haircut at 10pm?? or 4am?? i cant see a doctor and pay with DOGE or ETH and just get var, test e, test cream, dex prescribed, and ketamine? i have to make multiple aptmts, and use websites to order things??? im done with this shyt.

--random ADHD logging.
only bc i cant get the vits, i need. and the medicine and gear. i mean i can im not gonna ruin trades. nor lose mny when i can be up 5-10k usd later. and 30-40k cad. but i will get some help from parents then hit em back but ya i mean. i want to order shyt now so i aint gotta think about it. i hate having pending stuff.
--i can do it piecemeal. like... nicotine and dex.
--then make aptmt. get more dex prescribed and test cream prescribed at higher dose.
--then vitamins, earphones in one day. amzn and or iherb. then order medicine if not done before call pharmacy and or doc's office.
--newer iph wrks thank god. audio and all. did hella business and banking calls last few weeks. i knew id sw to it so didn't buy another phone. had to backup and restore and didn't want to lose security stuff.
--then get the test var hcg ordered stat.

--lets say test cream, sometimes (over for now gotta get Vitamins, Earphns, Gear (Marek's and test), Medicine (Dex refills, test cream renew prescription, then get more rxd long term), and whatever say that is liver load 10%, say add ostarine 13-14%, say add rad 30-40%, say add cough syrup a lot more. Feel pretty healthy but almost threw up a bit at gym yday... But could be fasting all day, then taking a spoon of ghee, a bit of coffee, tiny bit 20cals of lactose free milk and some collagen. But i had prog, cannabis, coffee, and tiny bit of milk before. BUt i was throwing up well near it anyways days at a time. on cough syrup and rad. damn, anyways better get TUDCA more and use that on top of milk thistle. Won't be an issue, but i will still have that for the anavar, test e. Ya rad must be way way more liver toxic and hair harsh than other stuff I've done. Like 3-4x less healthy than LGD maybe, and ostarine 5-6x less.. anavar like 3--4x less maybe something like that. Test e by itself fine. w test cream? better. test cream higher dose and test e prolly fine. I think the androgens esp something like ostarine, or a low dose var (5mg or so for 3-6mo or longer. 2.5mg for 1yr or so)... would be fine. But having milk thistle, tudca on cycle, and on hand is good. Maybe androgens help hEDS/HSD 30-40%, but diet and exercise pushes that to 60%, most this will be very hard to mtn without ADHD medicine so 85-90%, the trauma (medical trauma lots, esp misdiagnosis and deadly treatments for stuff I didn't even have... incl but not limited to PFS and PSSD -anxiety sure, but prolly from untreated ADHD and ASD, trauma etc). Add tape and braces 90-955. rest more, get peptides, stem cells. god willingly avoid ever needing bone or spinal surgery.. and get money, get new stuff that I don't know about in future, and even better. Strict carniv str training and resetting after androgens and dex, so dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin for risk-reward systems, and dex fx that... but 6mo to a yr for making test and dht and all that naturally and ideally restoring fertilty, u can do all with strictest carnivore. itll take time. i like working out and need to for ADHD and mood anyways and antidepressant fx... and I mean im more confident and can take on the world better when lean and aesthetic. Even if it is hard to deal with people at times, I can confidently deal with everyone nearly. Except maybe a few I really like... but I can do that easier, and I dont need to that much, bc they literally come to you when ur ripped and ev1 notices u. Deal with them, make a relnship after sex. But anyways the pt is: I think HRT/dex like 60-70% maybe 40% add str training which was there way before anything.. and clean as fuck diet.. new tech s 85-90%. bracing and taping is there too. but like i can workout now at home or gym. or i can wait. i can organize and meditate and chill on patio, wrkt here... or at main gym after showering... So it isn't that that bad. It did cause me hella issues tho. i guess as a kid i hid anxiety, covered it with drugs and such... and then later... IDK i was hiding disability and autism or something but like ADHD sure u can get good grades, excel in work that u are passionate about, if ur smart and really hard working... but i mean ppl around u can tell ur ADHD. i dont hide that and it would be pretty hard to. impossible really. Same with ASD, esp around close ppl who actually care. hard to hide hEDS/HSD also like i mean im stronger than ev1 i saw at the gym last 2 days (tho at times i was 50% stronger and way leaner and literally did like 800-1000 reps + a day rather than hard to do 400-500 at lower weights like now), but i can still fall, get injured and stuff. hard to hide being 6'1 and 6'5 wingspand rite. hard to hide asthma, did during pandemic. anyways, dont want randoms to see health issues. but ppl who care, won't care. only retards. like some postal cucks and low wage employees. ppl i can buy and sell (im not rich but ya i mean ill be richer than 99% of canadians, but i mean i earned it. most those really rich ppl didn't do shyt and had easy lives).

--Yeahs.

--look 3540%non tesla ore 600% 900% oi mean 300k 200k 500k 1mn from 38.5k is a lot of fucking money. dont be insane. rigetti and other shyt u could have done 122k and 244k and 200k agn. easily. in a mo. gtfo buy bk cheaper. lock in gains. put mny to use.

or take 60-70k profit and fking take 150-200k next time when u buy major breakdowns at 280 220 310 etc. 340 whatver. and buy the other shyt i actually believe in more.. i blv in tesla ai autonomous driving ... cybertaxi. rapid GDP/capita expansion globally. but ya elon.
--look 3540%non tesla ore 600% 900% oi mean 300k 200k 500k 1mn from 38.5k is a lot of fucking money. dont be insane. rigetti and other shyt u could have done 122k and 244k and 200k agn. easily. in a mo. that is risky however, i mean dont marry any investment/ company. tesla shd make me rich but it will take yrs and ya i kinda hope for a better ceo. he is too insecure and all into like looking cool in a few fields. he is an economics grad like me. some of us are super smart. however, i mean the engineers doctors, phds and shyt did a lot. he didnt do all the shyt. he is like steve jobs.

7.45pm nxt day:
cannot wrkt just yet ya fk that.

 

[MNK99]

--i guess taping and bracing and emphasizing strength and flexibility, but also injury prevention... is the way to go for me. Just to keep strong... slow down on goals a bit. And like if I need a brace, at home or out w ppl , that's ok... cant hide everything, no pt anyways. better than getting fkd up obvsly. i think taping helps a lot too. if no weed in system just some wrist wraps and this are fine but tape is good for a time. maybe i can minimally use it and get better at using it.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Hypermobility/comments/ff0ld7

reddit.com/r/Hypermobility/comments/1dz1tem/medical_cannabis_effect_on_hypermobile_body/

surely fucks other ppl up with scoliosis, hypermobility, autism/adhd (the spatial/ certain type of logic, certain type of memory stuff).


--fk ill go to my doctor soon for more test cream script, tests, and like dex new script (only had refills 2yrs ago or so and barely used it, not ina good way.. i mean i wasnt treating anything for a short time). now i use a low amt in a good way. anyways, ill go tell him about the ketamine idea. And ill try getting some help with hEDS/HSD, that should help anxiety a lot. Maybe I have musculoscontractural eds IDK but whatever. Maybe something else. I will try seeing the geneticist.. if need be, just for clinical evaluation. Even tho their assistant pissed me off yrs ago.

 

[RebelWithACause]

did you ever try Thyroid hormone?

 

[MNK99]

Nah man that's another thing. issue is like 95% of my money isn't liquid. soon only 70% then 60%. then ill buy a bunch of shyt. i may cash in 20-30k or 50k and pay like partial taxes there.

I am interested in that, but Marek's protocol first. And really whatever helps for hEDS/HSD.

Lots of pain, worked out well 2x sat or so and monday once., but ya stabilization muscles, joints, and connective tissue being defective/weak, sore all over the place from chest to shoulders.Back was too.
Wore cheapo back brace all day yday. No weed today, until shyt is done (work and working out and daily habits and discipline).

Like wearing a brace hurts, taping u feel pain also.. back to taking turmeric. Less carbs. I am 211 210 when dialled ina few days. but fk up 215. if i eat some other stuff. but 200 soon then 195. Then 192.
But not as soon as I want it. That is ok tho, I have no interest in hurting my neck nor scoliosis nor arthritis.

So RWAC, I am taking Test cream, dex, and like carnivore ish/keto. Taping and bracing of course... and also ostarine. Rad is way stronger but destroys liver, possibly heart, and hair. so ya fuck that.
I was taking more test e and c but ya i ran out. i will get more tho. a lot more. Get 1000-1500 dollars of gear soon maybe just 990 or so cad. Nolva, HCG, var x 2, test e x 3-4, and like I think that's it.

See I can't be sure but I think higher dose test eases recovery time, makes it easier to stand and workout. Put it this way btwn work and stomach probs and soreness and pain and literally difficulty moving around, i workout 3-4x but wanna do 5-6x soon. but ya im not gonna rush it. prolly 6-8x soon enuff. but light wrkts at home too. Maybe main gym 2-3x a week --total body fitness, maybe circuits at times, and walking 2-3x.

Sometimes I can only pace around on my patio. Don't want ppl to see me injured/hurt but im still bigger than ev1 at the gym mostly. but ya some posns i cannot move. Ill be ripped soon but not trying to get hurt nor need bone surgery or anything nor be out of commission. just gotta be careful, patience is a virtue. And be smart about things so start really low weight, protect neck.


GODDAMNIT be up like 4-5000usd... in profits, if i stuck to HYPE. but melania coin! but ill win that shyt too.

If I master tesla options id be up like 150-200k 250k when up 60-122k... but.. ya later 20mn 30mn rather than 10-15mn. but whatever.... i got other work and other trades and other investments.
I don't fuck with options yet just in case. When i have more cash i will a bit. but just a little. no greed. no fomo no fud. fund my TFSA.GET MORE DEFI protocols. Stake more. and get the fuck out 5k 5500 10k usd. whatever cash in. take time to learn TA> and study for the academic stuff.

--fking disability. but it isnt that bad. i gotta watch pain mgmt and movement. weed only 2-3x a week maybe so i am mobile. taping and bracing, even cheapo brace im thankful for. Test cream, ostarine, get Test E stat. I am sure it helps pain and joint stability at lst energy and motivation and recovery time, must help pain too.

 

[MNK99]

Single largest cause of Bankruptcy in America is unexpected medical bills. Even in Canada, it is insane. I mean, yeah a lot of stuff is covered, but you can pay for an ambulance here. OR they can freeze all your accounts for no reason, not even talking about AML (anti money laundering rules, it isn't actually money laundering in most cases). They can close your account if you're mean to the random activist at the bank. I've been good lately. but you need like 3 banks and other currencies, just in case they fk with you. Even if you're a surgeon, prof, or lawyer (who gets in trouble at lst. if you're a good do everything govt tells u to do, person... then i guess not such an issue). they build 1mn and 2mn dollar houses together, side by side, just like 400 000 dollar ghetto houses. TBH I wish I could just see a shrink/total health specialist and get my prescriptions whenever at nite... and pay em doge or something.

Pay em in USDT or Melania coin lol no. Some real currency. CASH or USDT or USDC.

--Yeah I still shed on test cream, but I mean I shed 4x as much with Rad140. maybe weeks from now shedding will be barely there. I think ostarine, var.. shed like 5x less than rad140. I have to workout and like get more orthoses/tape a bit (possibly other stuff, not sure... most canes suck...). Could be wrong but higher dose test helps recovery... and like I think overall pain management. I don't think I was this sore with 100mg test e or c (40-50mg 2x a week) and 100mg/ml test cream. Possibly Rad140 is just that much stronger than ostarine and stays in system a lot longer, so there's less pain. but I mostly only workout everything and core.. well i mean i ignore chest at times but do upper and lower body.. whatever I can. So maybe chest, back, legs... and like tris, shoulders and core... maybe that is why sore. but wore cheapo brace all day yday and lifted sat and monday. Removed all tape, and like ya definitely pain. Better now. that there's no weed in system... and better joint stability. weed or psychedelics make me nicer (moreover it makes me receptive to ppl more and slow down and not be all one tracked) but i mean at risk of injury... gotta be careful. not lift when using that. save for after or early am or both.

DEX also sheds...

but adderall etc far worse. and initially far worse... and tkaing break then adding.. worse.

but lamictal worse than that.

and fin crash hair shed was worse. regrew fair amt but not all.

im gonna get ru58841 maybe but no fuck that i go up and down 5lbs with like a single androgen or bad meal really rather. it is water tho mostly. anyways better tape self up and go workout.


---
6.02pm 1.30.2025:
--defs pain... updated log (for me, just random ADHD rapid logging, and stuff about hEDS/HSD, not saying it will cure ev1 else... it is literally "scratch" notes). Like dope sheets for trading, and pre digital planning and handwritten planning. Pre planning. I shall be careful at gym.
--defs pain... had my old brace on yday all day, w nearly no tape. just showered, shaved (ALL), and taped up soon brace. go workout, cut some of my hair, it needs to be longer on top... it is a whole thing, but last person fkd me up a bit but it was too long. looks better now. ill regrow it and keep my scarface or even better joker hair for life. no rad. only ostarine but weaker... but i still outperform ev1 at the gym minus shyt i can't do and roided out freaks (ev1 so far 2/2 days but ya i workout at home). i look jacked at 215-218 but ill look better cut to 199 195 and then rad or var 205 210 then cut 200. smthing like that. lots of pain, quite disabling, the movement stuff not movement disorder but careful to not displace, disconnect, dislocate, subluxate anything. tape is harsh on sensitive af skin too. ill go lift soon... but will get a ride. not going there with wild animals rush hr. wherever i go, that's my area tho.
not just pain i mean i could fall, or get really hurt at times., so ill keep weed 2-3x a week and assume it hurts joint instablity like 15-18hrs or so. maybe 24hrs+ not sure. probably, but tape and bracing and a stim and some hypermobility fixes most that, but ya i want to focus at gym. music and isolation.
--idk 30-50 dollars of tape per week if fairly active. god knows how much if super active tho pretty much the same. what that's like 3000 a yr that's outrageous. ya ill buy in bulk.

 

[MNK99]

Fuck. take 68-70000 payday.. if i feel bearish on this or wait and take 120 150k 200k in 1-3 mo or longer. but ya i mean.. 70k/ 2mo is 35k tkhome cad per mo and it isnt always like that. more like 23k.. c nov i was up.

anyways long run ill be fine. better go workout.

hope all is well w/ ev1.

MNK.

--actually nauseated and stress.

--no rad140 4-5days or so..and no weed. one day almost (used for a week then like 1.5-2yrs ago, but will use more often). No cough syrup, barely any cough for now... I think gone a few days. but i used salt water to gargle just in case and for inflmn. I still feel like throwing up. Could be vits empty stomach and perhaps medicine (just test cream, dex low dose, ostarine)... idk. Probably vitamins on empty stomach plus also stress/anxiety. Maybe focusing better and also getting things done when lean... i have liquid sugar in am.. some. but defs not on carnivore nor attempted carnivore. Probably feel sick due to carbs/dairy i had yday and in recent days.. also chococlate. also ice cream (needed extra cals, i added the normal outside gym, to home workouts). Heartburn, took tums. I am sure some is carbs, some is vits, and some must be anxiety, the nausea. Maybe joint instability causing it, who tf knows. My neck ins't "that unstable" tho (thank god). i mean sure i move a lot... but that shouldn't make u feel like throwing up. Prolly anxiety, like go workout and im minus 500% at cross leverage in some shitcoin. And like even if i make 70k tmro, im down like 52k in that one trade. but that is ok, in it to win it long run. tight stops will help. for sure. gonna avg down or at lst increase margin and push liqdn price further, but did this with like 600 cad, 500 maybe 1000.. and also like 500usd, from some stuff on a dif exchange. got 400 for this but ideally won't need it. only lost in recent 5mo once dec 20 or so and like.. now possibly but prolly not. in what? SHITCOINS. tight stop losses. murder real coins instead esp in bull market. and tight stops bc then ur prepared if it is sideways, down bear market, crash, bear mkt rally, insane news, exch goes under, etc etc. whatever the circumstances, tight sl is the mother of risk mgmt.

--defs pain... updated log (for me, just random ADHD rapid logging, and stuff about hEDS/HSD, not saying it will cure ev1 else... it is literally "scratch" notes). Like dope sheets for trading, and pre digital planning and handwritten planning. Pre planning. I shall focus hard at gym, no weed 4-5d a week. i think it fks with gross motor skills 15-18 maybe 24hrs. some is obviously inate issues. but ya it can be problematic. im always careful for the most part, but will be really careful. Feel safer with taping and even bracing at home a bit, if I'm already hurt, w/ tape on, I can lift... 3-4x a wk, eventually more (and lifht at times).
A lot of workouts.., i can lose like 5-10lbs in a few weeks... and gain some muscle.. or gain like 20lbs in 5-6 weeks or 8 or something esp with food but even that's a pain in the ass. waiting for orders or more likely, cooking... and then cleaning that heavy cast iron. did 20's side raises/ milk jugs whatever. 70s shoulder shrugs a couple d ago but it is too high and i can hurt my neck grabbing the weight / rereacking to platform. I shd be like 6'5 w my wingspan and just huge super chad everywhere, no fucked up drugs and meds, like 11/10 hair still but ill fix that safely. good height anyways but ya i mean the dislocations and pain is not great. but hypermobile people (real hypermobile ppl, more hypermobile than me or with HSD, and pain/inflexibility phase), are generally really smart.. so that's good. i dont know. im sure i can gain muscle and lose fat.. with 4 workouts/ week too or even zero if just strict carnivore.

MNK99 — Today at 6:05 PM
chad, but wasted. ignored like 9900 maybe 900 000 women. 3mn women in toronto alone. fuck you autism!! / trauma. but ya i mean i can still get women. however, this is EASIER IF U FUCKING DRINK or do drugs. OR at lst have own place (my last place flooded, and i need a few 100-200k paydays first). i may take 68k-80k tmro but maybe not. idk. i think that.. and crypto is enuff to make u throw up let alone 20 injuries maybe 5 10 15 at times sometimes.. pretty often. 4-5 a week or month or smthing but rotates. but quickly get over most... but not all. anyways, fk im minus 500% at cross leverage in one crypto exchange but ya itll turn. and ill sell at plus 100 or 200 or 300 percent ideally. most ppl screwed completely in that coin. or hell ill take 10-20 percent loss ideally but ya it looks bad. tight sl would have avoided this. workout all injured with 3000 usd or so at risk in a bs coin, ya you're gonna feel a bit sick sometimes. i also force myself to throwup but just short of that, bad habit. like an anxiety coping thing or something. to see if im sick. idk wtf.

--taped everything basically, skeletal taping outline. easier when ripped. but ankles, elbow, wrists, upper back, lower back a bit... mid back/ spine support, and also under neck. gonna add my old brace and some lifting wrist wraps. plus orthotics... and also glasses but i don't wear em def not at gym (I should tho). I hope this and ostarine and turmeric help prevent pain and also allow me to keep working out, I'm sure they do. i am doing like 300-400reps or so when i workout btwn home and gym... but ya i used to do 600 800 at times but I was stronger then, and that was after randro/4andro. prolly 400-500 or more w ostarine. scared of certain neck movements (like me moving it or it getting moved), and like there will def be pain across like many different muscle groups and joints. almost want to take acetaminophen but feel queasy. don't want the liver damage. don't want weed, cuz i don't want to get hurt.. idk.


--I need like a spray on brace/ topical that makes a form fitting brace... along several areas. Or spray on tape. Luckily, i don't need crutches, finger splints, nor a wheelchair. Nor surgery. So it could always be worse. I'm pretty fit and aesthetic regardless. However, yeah it does cause issues for sure. Eating clean definitely lowers inflammation, and resultant arthritis. I may lose nicotine and coffee again long term (for breathing, conn tissue stuff in throat and blood pressure and also anxiety and sleep). Need something tho. Don't want to cheat on diet. Maybe topical CHN CBD THC cream or something, I don't know if does anything. i had some that I used a bit in summer 2018. Some spray on thing that makes tendons and joints "bullet proof" would be nice.

 

[MNK99]

--... from the stage i see you... in the shadows staring into space.... all alone pedalling poems... in the dark I see you... moving circles into space... when you speak you flicker your eyelids and your green eyes glance over my face. could it be could it be that all i ever wanted ... to be free.

I'm sorry... can i make you stay... can I have one more day..
it's only been a day.. feels like eternity..since you walked away im bleeding... rivers made of tears mountains of fears... you littered on my universe with all your colors..
my skies are grey without you here... is it too late... to say im sorry??

 

[MNK99]

--yeah just keep it strict.should have slept earlier, but I took a lot of cannabis at like 8am after talking all nite to some friends. and then... I did some other stuff, actually before. And anyways, then like I slept bc I was tired. BUt yeah I wake up high. 10-12hrs, and like weed may make me too honest. it is bad for business and life. good for relnships... and life I guess but bad for paranoia and anxiety. Anyways, definitely I know how to exercise and diet, just oysters a tiny bit, old bison, and new steak fajita cuts from farm... and like ya it was good but no sauce nothing just some herbs and spices in leftover bison. Well the oysters were canned so had some sauce but anyways... I barely ate after lifting at gym and at home and down 6lbs. so ill just keep diet locked in bc ill be down 20-25bs and more strong. SO I need to keep NF, Carnivore, Some meds (HRT+/dex), and later get ketamine for descending order of importance: Trauma, Anxiety, Depression, hEDS/HSD, ADHD. They all work in unison and thta may actually be wrong.. maybe trauma, hEDS, then depression, anxiety, adhd are rite after tho. Whatever. I shall help trauma with NF and carniv and meds and ketamine the most. I shall help fat loss with of c strength training, diet mostly carniv , and some mes. and same with anxiety and depresn -- all. And same with heds/HSD, like working out 2-3 hard and eating rite.. and weed 3x a week. or working out lite when need to but not getting injured not overtraining will kjeep muscles and joints and conn tissue non injured. So I will be healthy. I am sure I can take dex and wrkt at home and a bit at gym but I mean avoiding dopamine spiking, PMO is more important. DIET is more important. Giving time to rest is more important. Ill lose 20-30lbs w diet. and itd be like 10-12 wks ago or 40-70 80 weeks ago well less weight to lose then... but that'd be the case earlier, if I just committed to diet. For mood stability focus discipline and keeping good habits first is diet, then not doing bad things, then using only helpful meds and some supps, exercise.. this and that are on top of it. or maybe diet, exercise, medicine, or diet, medicine, exercise.. whatever.

--1.st strict carnivore. 2nd.meds and supps trying em. 3. NF. 4. Strength training. 5. Things like ostarine, taping, bracing... 6. Ketamine. I am trying to say.

THe anxiety, ADHD, any ASD if there is any... and a lot of the depression, and medical trauma comes with the hEDS/HSD.

SO meds help ADHD and heds however, diet does too and lowers doses needed. Ostarine helps too. For breakthroughs and getting rid of trauma anxiety and depression like half with nofap, half with carniv, and more with mneds... and new pathways, and ketamine. I am trying to keep track of all of this. Cannabis helps, I can take a break but keep after or way before exercising, I have an actual disability.. so I need to be careful. And meet more babes, I talked to 2 different women like a lot last nite, made out and then was just friends with one (she's too young, 19), this other woman is 22.

But i came home and then, ya i fking stayed up more and more... and then, fapped, and then... fucking IDK watching this coin and tesla pre market, then take weed.. then fell asleep.

SO I can take dex, force workouts but why??> i mean eat rite lose 20lbs then 5-10lbs and im ripped then. i cant outtrain any and all diet infractions yet. I can't train hard all the time
and ill look better than most ppl with 2 workouts or 5 or 8 a week. IF I literally just eat carnivore. later a yr from now, i wont need to workout 8-10 weeks at a time but yes., I want to stay as active as possible.
Breaks will happen tho. U can train more get more hurt and help mental health or train happy and ripped. i mean same weight still ten lbs more than 10 weeks ago one week carniv.

but sure im fitter. ill keep cutting and recomping, adding ostarine to my medical shelf.

 

[MNK99]

That's part of reason i avoided socializing a lot of times with women, literal disability. but cool ppl dont care but i have to tell them... so i dont get hurt. told two women yday about pfs. pssd, and also like autism/trauma, and overcoming things, helping ppl, wanting to monetize substack.. and also even PMO addiction. it was fine. however, i became more and more honest bc of stupid weed but they were cool.

As long as you're attractive and you maintain good congruent character you can tell a fair number of women anything, and they won't ostracize you. If you barely know someone, I have pacing issues, i get to know someone either all nite extremely fast otherwise i avoid em for yrs.

Im working on autism if it's there, trauma, anxiety. -- everything I do helps that, habit wise.

I mean sure other things I do, do not.. but I'm culling those activities.

DEX, helps ADHD and hEDS and anx depresn trauma.
Carniv keeps dose down helps those too.
Same with nofap.
Same with strength training kind of... and same with later if used TEI, but far more likely and sooner,
Ketamine.


--i was talking to one woman at her place and another online last nite, then i needed to check premarket (just sell that, tsll or wait, till 200k-300k up, missing countless easy as fk trades.. well 5-10, plus side i get more cyngin, cheap af. but i shd have sold at 420 and bought 10-20k of that), anyways... i needed to sleep. SO I was rite about cannabis wrecking my joint instability. I took some like this am at 8am in coffee, then slept till IDK 4 or 5 maybe 6pm or something. Took test cream and ostarine, and dex eventually (like at 7pm dex), now i will wrkt at home... and i ate a tenderloin... but ya i still feel hi. Like i can't control where im trying to move. like cooking and cleaning was hard, but i cleaned some dishes here (not mine), and like ran up and down a lot.

gonna put on brace, or i did. i was trying to shower but i figure wait till there's less instability. workout a little here and get some fresh air so this is 14hrs later, of maybe 24mg thc + some more, and cbd like IDK 50mg or so, just with a tiny bit of lactose free homo milk and coffee. I guess some coffee helped... later black iced coffee, with some prog. I guess maybe taurine and water helped... mostly it is hydration and time that helps. not crazy amts of pain, but I know that going to the gym.. esp rushed is dangerous.. ADHD wise alone. I think some awkward mannerisms for sure I have those a bit, but movements

are all fkd up and not in coherence. Eyes can't focus as well.. like I can't move my head and neck or shoulders, arms, back the way i want it to, same as the eye movements. but in a few hrs, it will be fine but it is 10pm i gotta workout tonite but if it is a bit later that will be fine. going to someone's house tmro. finally put some capital more in, to keep liqdn down. I need to secure 2200 2500 usd if it bounces to 3.30 3.90 or so.. from 1.80 and then, keep that mny unused, till better dips in better coins. but i transferred some money 2-3d ago and transferred agn into offramp yday, then put on exchange today. barely getting fk all done. could have taken 70-83k this mo... but ill wait. i hope this coin goes back up and march april june see tsla soar and nov. idk i guess TOM LEE is wrong on timing.

but ELON's gaffes and blaming it on "autism", and his actual autism (probably), is screwing the companies he's in. He needs a good leader there but hopefully this shyt goes up a lot. working on habits n discipline. gonna lift but ya down 5-6lbs agn in a day.. and ate barely any yday bc it isnt enticing oysters bison leftover and this other stuff fajita meat. w cheese aged cheddar or homemade goat milk or better raw dairy.. it will be good. i just had a tenderloin an hr ago so small but great protein and fat source. from farm. but ya i may eat something else but i gotta go workout 1-2x before if not 3x before my friend's house or at lst 3x or so by wknd end. IF I CANNOT bc of literally not being able to move my body in the correct way, or bc of soreness that is fine. Some fat loss, faster, isn't worth putting myself at risk. Anyways take care all.

My friend's mom is leaving and I want to be present, going to my friend's house so I don't want to stare at this stupid coin.. but ya i mean ill be aware.
ill take dex and test.. and some weed on top maybe but idk.

ill workout first tnite and tmro at lst a little.

REally ill cut 20lbs just from diet.

I guess ostarine and dex.. and time 40-50% food 60%. wait 80-90% and lift.

Weed makes u more sensitive to pain, at lst me... perhaps... but more likely to get into pain, bc of injury. ANd hence, I must wait before working out tonight.

I also barely stay on track of what I'm saying and try to do. I can't take a hell of a lot of dex at nite. I guess I can... sometimes all nighters happen sure bc of work, in past bc of uni and masters..
but just day to day stuff.

Worst case ill just fall asleep at my friend's house a little.

I try and tell them about hEDS/HSD, and why I need a strict diet and why I can't do certain things. But they're always drunk. So they don't listen plus the English and all the scientific/medical terms, they don't know wtf I'm talking about. This isn't as much of an issue with smart female friends, or dates. I mean idiots don't understand fuck all. But male friends that are on stuff all the time, ya they don't know what the fuck I'm saying.

People I trust barely understand that I need to save energy and joint stability to workout, cook, and live... and I can't do all the stuff ppl want me to do. And if I have substances in my system, like 90% are for mental and physical health. And I mean weed or drinks, ya with a woman I trust sure, but I mean... I can't just go hangout... all nite, I mean i can't afford to lose 70k profits or 1k usd.. and like 3k margin, 5.5-8k at times.

I will get more killer trades. Take time off. perfect nofap/pron cessation, and perfect other stuff. Diet and exercise. Showering 6d a week now, i only don't at times bc of work and disability.

It willbe 7-9 bc of multiple showers. but sure i can shower and lift more often, volume, some heavier weight but not all the time.. or I can relax and chillout at times.

Spoon theory. Plus others randoms I don't want to see me, injured or disabled... or sick but what can I do. Ppl I trust and most randoms aren't fucking with me, and many ppl are nice.
Spoon theory, gotta save energy. Then I work really hard when I can... and that is ADHD, anxiety, and literal physical disability.. that worsened as I got older.

It isn't so bad, I'm just saying what's on my mind.

--i stayed up late and did like 1yr of uni in 12 weeks sure bc of ADHD and misdiagnosis but ya stomach probs, from hEDS/HSD. My last missed exams (besides an LSAT but not counted. at lst most misses aren't counted), bc of literal disability. Like that's why id pick 3hr lectures and like 3 classes or a whole class like 3hrs or 6hrs a weekend. it wasn't bipolar. trauma, anxiety uncontrollable worrying sure. but literally missed exams at times bc of stomach probs and also getting hurt / too hard to get to school (i commuted like 4hrs a day, to the biggest school in canada, 70000 ppl, in the worst traffic/ commute in n america, minus LA maybe). but it was a disability. these retards. shd have dxd earlier. all of it.

--tget the fuck out of those coins. and into great posnss, batch order half of capital or 1/3 of capital on exchange rather. get out of this shyt alive. rebound to 2.50 and 3.. and 3.30 and secure 2k 2500 or so.. then get it to 4.50 4.99 5.5 and take 600-1k profit.. and use small amt to stay in long, get out with 10k profit, the other shyt too over time but maximize my learning time, learn TA and study for the test.

WRKT. study hard 2mo and 2mo for this. but dont fk around. be lean and good looking.
and mobile. and fit.

Rundown:
I bet if I took rad140 or anavar, something stronger than ostarine, it's easier to workout sooner... and lower joint instability... but fasting, diet, exercise... all that stuff.. sure it helps Nofap. less anxiety.. however, i mean ive been in peak condition and had neck instability.. back/ lower cervical instabiility it was written as. I woke up 6pm, talked to a couple chicks and hung out with one, then came home, then couldn't sleep and was talking a bit more... then like took weed at 8am and then slept. Waiting to workout. Had a tenderloin. Not a lot of pain. Updated log (random stuff, bc I can't focus with weed in my system at times). Too vitamins last nite/8am. ANd like then prog in coffee, taurine in water, hella water... some mg, b2 b6 turmeric milk thistle, hcl enzymes, in early am. And then test cream 100mg/ml took 150 yday, and ostarine 15mg gonna take more, then 20mg dex. no weed since sleeping but damn.

And disciplined.
Mtn great effective habits and work on discipline.

SOme male friends are great.. i shd have just stayed there and I did with kalil and Egor and other friends. SO ya ill let newer friends and women know, that ya i need help sometimes.

--i used it in 2018... perhaps AGPC or Citicholine, will help clear the psychoactive or the high effects of cannabis (taken 8am pre sleeping today, till 6pm or something). Then i can workout quicker or shower then workout, or workout then shower. I had a tenderloin. great diet yday 600cals or so bison, beef fajitas from farm, and some oysters. today, 2 tenderloins. Barely any food but dropping fat. All the androgens, stims.. in the world won't fix joint instability, when it is acute. So I gotta wait. I was talking toa f riend from Toronto, I haven't seen a in a long time. He joined the military, back when I was healing from PFS, and fasting and all that. Anyways, ill tell him when I was 26, and he dropped me off home, from North York to downtown Toronto, and I fell. Sure weed, this and that, the alcohol (that I didn't drink for 3-6mo before that), but I fell, it was bc of the connective tissue disorder. When I broke part of my foot, in my bro's wedding. Benadryl, fell in shower, sure drinking but it is joint instability. When i broke my tooth and had to get a vaneer, and was in an extremely dangerous situation, that was joint instability too at 21. mofos.

 

[MNK99]

--pretty sure stims helped keep me alive. That and choline/agpc added to weed, will help. However, I took weed to sleep at 8 am like 15hrs, ago. I can wait a bit, had some tenderloins and meat only last couple days. dropping fat and water. Ill try and keep it up. I took test cream 100mg (150mg yday), and 30mg ostarine. Today 15, soon 30.. I took 25mg dex, 5mg extra (from 2016), so I could focus and lift without injury. Pretty good but not perfect. Not that hurt today, but anxiety, and relapsed a bad habit. Anyways, stims like coffee, coke, dex.. definitely and a lot of stuff in uni and masters.. and hi school (skipping class and deferring exams), was definitely physical disability related. I'll get notes day one, for doctorate if I do that. But more importantly, I'll reach out to my friends and new frds more. And Ill tell em. Conversed with and hungout with dated one, 2 women yday. I realize the sentence structure here is all fkd up. I'm in a rush a bit. Anyways, ya I told em about PSSD, PFS, and hEDS/HSD, trauma etc.. but how ADHD medicine helps me a lot and I will use androgens but safely. So if I can say that to two new women, I should be able to, to close friends, and like the women that I really liked (these 2 are great, one's just a friend, a bit too young. 19), but like certain women I miss. Anyways, all i can do is wait, get fresh air, either shower.. safely.. or wait. Ya falling after not drinking and stuff at 26, joint instability. dropping things as a kid joint instability. breaking a tooth at 21, joint instability... breaking part of my foot 21 joint instability (and alcohol all those times and other times). Blackouts, effexor probs, I wasn't mental, I was literally physically disabled, and had neuro things going on, ADHD. misdiagnosed forever but look and i mean maybe not rite this second, but usually feel young too. Iit sucks tho i had more energy than a ppl a decade younger than me a decade and a half at times. but ya i mean i cant force workouts or activity. I need to be careful, rest more... and i mean 3 workouts 4 or zero, youll lose fat and cut and gain some muscle with diet alone, if you're dialled in like me. However, ya i may add cheese, then carbs here and there... but it is just addictive behavior. Don't need it. if no carbs means im at fat loss goal in 3 weeks vs spinning wheels for 15 weeks, i mean clearly, carnivore is powerful. helps anxiety, depresn, trauma, fasting, and sticking to nofap, and sobriety and all that (I don't really include psychedelics, nicotine, dex, medical cannabis. but i do mean SSRI's, alcohol, etc, pron). Weed can hurt anxiety for sure and literally get me injured but i take it long before having to do something. or after. but ya it fx me like 20-36hrs maybe not sure. edibles/ tinctures.

 

[MNK99]

--opened up to two female frds told em briefly like rapidly... with weed in system, i guess... but i had weed later, so not sure. but i was prolly still hi. between weed and dexedrine. anyways told em about PSSD, PFS, androgens, stims.. and like... whatever, some other stuff. trauma, this and that. anyways, and hEDS/HSD. So i can be more open w new friends, older friends, and new women. so that's good. however, ya i mean my joint instability, focusing eyes etc is still impaired. Perhaps, citicholine or alpha gpc, neutralizes the worsened ADHD and remining worsened in impairment, joint instability. I had liquid cannabis, like a bottle. Sprays are better. It did help me sleep but I need to workout at home. I ate some tenderloins... still fkd up. gotta shower im working out at home 11pm now... but had to manage some trading shyt. So ya i see many times not hanging out w women and stuff sure, initially in 2018 2019 it was focusing on healing then career. but 2020 2021 2008 ya it was disability stuff a lot of it. Like i cant just go smoke a blunt with 5-6 women, that dont know me.
i can use drugs w ppl i trust, that i know have my back tho... and can drive me around or call me an uber etc. so anyways im gonna find something. carniv, nf, ketamine, dex/HRT+, taping, and bracing all help disability a bit. Perhaps some b's, mg does as well. Turmeric... also ostarine, and like phsio. ketamine is like not only gonna help depresn, anxiety long run.. but also perhaps lower pain. Disissociative anasthetic, connecting brain and body... something like that, stops the pain process (perhaps). but it isnt just pain, like most diets will lead to stomach probs... and like... i mean there's inability to move neck and like limbs the way i want to. like awkward gait etc too. can fall, trip. can get hurt cooking and cleaning too. and even lying down or sitting down at times. leaning.
--when im lean and downtown calgary or toronto and great self care i can literally walk around sad looking, after weed. and girls talk toi me. but the issue is.. i want to be in a state of consciousness. high but functional but also maxed sexual function and fitness. but ya i mean at times joint instability will be there. also feelings are too intense at times. it is pisces stuff (im not kidding).
--stims def helped me stay alive and avoid accidents. like quitting drinking early 20s.. and using coke. or coffee in teens. dex now. but some rekt anxiety, others i mean eventually they ruin your life (maybe... or help but hurt other stuff). i was fine with coke but ya that is another thing i was hiding but i dont hide drug use nor prev drug use from ppl anymore, cuz i dont care. i need to live. they chill me out so i can focus/ build/ strategize/ structure life. and i don't have to be controlled by my mind, nor feelings, nor thoughts. I need to be careful on dopamine spiking, pleasure - reward pathways tho.
MNK99 — Today at 11:03 PM
--that is why alpha gpc or citicholine did keep nootropic effects of cannabis, and they combined had affects. also, it helps... control the movements, or did. to an extent. Like added 200 reps just with choline. however, it does something to autism/ADHD.. and makes me silent at times. then i cant talk to ppl. stims can make u hate ppl tho. idk ill figure it out. that's trauma and such rather.

0-tried to keep it concise, log here,.. tiny bit on discord i write too fast and think too fast and can't get to what the essence is. run on thoughts. but anyways. im gonna lift at home.

-- --so want to workout. spent some time w some chicks yday. it was good. however, joint instability when i used weed 8am. slept a lot. 8-10hrs. and i think alpha gpc or citicholine will neutralize the gross motor skill impairment (i.e. worsened joint instability). maybe for MDMA, ketamine, cannabis alike, those noots or Uridine will help. Sitting here hurts lying down was hurting. wasn't in pain like 18-20hrs mostly, some pain but nothing major. It isn't just pain, it is difficulty moving limbs and stuff, right. even eyes and face at times. it isn't MS or anything, it is a connective tissue disorder. Also caused probs with school, ill make sure I have a cabinet full of b's, mg, enzymes, and like d/k, and all that. Turmeric. ostarine. test cream, test e. all that. dex. i really think stims helped me stay alive, anxiety/trauma/depression wise, and also physically. Mentally, physically, and neurologically. They have their merits. Also kept me off other drugs. Hurts relationships, however, I mean I had to stay up and skip class and do like 10 weeks that is worth 1 yr of school at times. it was hEDS/HSD, and ADHD. I realize. Ill get note pre work in office and for doctorate if i finish that . more importantly, ill let friends know. and take their help at times. only some ppl i can trust tho... but ya im selective w frds and women. make huge frds group at new condo, and every high value, good looking single woman there, will be attracted at lst enuff to hangout with, many will ask me out. and vice versa if i lose anxiety/ autism. i can ask but ya i mean drugs, substances help. ill work on anxiety. cuz they also hurt... the weed, etc. i cant workout now but ill try to.

Get some choline or uridine from bedroom put in downstairs office. and take some choline perhaps.

SOme stuff from Inspire .com EDS:
Soothing S
7 replies Last reply September 15, 2024 • 2:46 PM
I struggle with overthinking and focusing. My doctor recommended watch...
nih.gov)Neuroprotective Actions of Dietary Choline - PMC (nih.gov) ... Show more

debzone2021
September 15, 2024 • 10:48 AM

amcfrombga
July 18, 2024
Ehlers-Danlos Syndromes and Hypermobility Spectrum Disorders
Topic: Psychiatric and psychological issues
Reply to: Flare Ups!
14 replies Last reply August 20, 2024 • 12:43 PM
I am having my first flare up since being diagnosed with hEDS and, now..
I've found that having adequate levels of both methylfolate and choline are key to reduction of my symptoms. Maintaining adequate levels of hydration reduces my vagus nerve/autonomic dysfunction symptoms. And I also recommend pilates to help relieve some of the tension that builds up as a reaction and guarding from painful movement.Hypermobility and Ehlers-Danlos Blog - Hypermobility and Ehlers-Danlos Clinic @ The Fascia Institute (hypermobilityclinic.org)Understanding the Basics of Dysautonomia - Hypermobility and Ehlers-Danlos Clinic @ The Fascia Institute (hypermobilityclinic.org)https://www.amazon.com/Hypermobility-Without-Tears-Moving-Pain-Free/dp/109653498


A 54 yr old asks: What works for EDS and Dementia/Memory problems? sweetannieoak Feb 2, 2021 • 9:08 AM Citicholine. It works great. Found out about it through Pubmed database.

 

[MNK99]

Whatever im using 25-30mg. it is safe as fuck vs rad140.

A couple women complimented my physique but they haven't seen my peak yet. a few yrs ago sure but even then.

anyways ill do better w test and ostarine but... ya whatever works 5-6 workouts is plenty. i have a disability. itll be easier later.

Grok AI:

how much ostarine in addition to test cream for a 30 something male with hypermobile ehlers or hypermobile spectrum disorder




15 web pages
For individuals with hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (hEDS) or hypermobility spectrum disorder (HSD) who are considering supplementation with Ostarine (a selective androgen receptor modulator, or SARM) alongside testosterone cream, it's important to approach the use of these substances with caution due to their potential side effects and the lack of extensive research specifically tailored to these conditions.
Ostarine Dosage:

• There is no specific, universally recommended dosage of Ostarine for hypermobile conditions like hEDS or HSD in males aged around 30. However, research on Ostarine generally suggests dosages in the range of 15-30 mg per day for muscle and bone health improvement in other contexts like osteoporosis. However, this is based on general studies and not directly related to hEDS or HSD.

Testosterone Cream:

• The use of testosterone cream (or any form of testosterone replacement therapy) should be under strict medical supervision. Dosages can vary widely based on individual health needs, current testosterone levels, and the specific formulation of the cream. Typically, for men, testosterone therapy might aim to bring levels within the normal physiological range, but exact dosages would be determined by a healthcare provider.

Considerations:

• Safety and Efficacy: Both Ostarine and testosterone supplementation can have side effects. Ostarine might affect liver function, hormone balance, and potentially cardiovascular health, while testosterone can lead to issues like mood swings, acne, and increased risk of cardiovascular events if not managed correctly.
• Lack of Specific Research: There is limited research on using these compounds specifically for hEDS or HSD. Most data on Ostarine come from studies on muscle wasting, osteoporosis, or performance enhancement, not specifically for connective tissue disorders.
• Medical Supervision: Given the risks, any use of these substances should be done under the guidance of a healthcare professional who can monitor health impacts, particularly liver function, hormone levels, and cardiovascular health.

Conclusion:

• While Ostarine might theoretically offer benefits in terms of muscle strength and potentially bone density, which could be beneficial for joint stability in hypermobile conditions, there is no clear clinical protocol for this use. If considering this approach, a consultation with a specialist in endocrinology, rheumatology, or a geneticist familiar with EDS/HSD would be crucial. They could provide personalized advice based on the latest evidence or ongoing studies.
• Note: Always discuss with your doctor before starting any new supplement or medication, especially for conditions like hEDS or HSD where individual variability is high.
  Treatment of osteoporosis using a selective androgen receptor modulator ostarine in an orchiectomized rat model - PMC

Disclaimer: Grok is not a doctor; please consult one. Don't share information that can identify you.

--woke 2.20pm from9am orso. fucked up sleep early. MEDITATE more.
ketamine, test cream, dex will afix any remaining endcrine stuff, anx, depresn, trauma... a hell of a lot faster than nothing. ketamine 2-3mo hjeals 6mo 1yr 1yr 10-20yrs of trauma.

Otherwise, just do NOFAP, STRICT CARNIVORE, TEST cream/dex/osta, and supplements. And strength training, and walk. And physio/strength coach for mobility. ANd var later.

OR heal any endocrine stuff 6mo into strict carniv, and like a year trauma, ADHD, anxiety a lot better. 1.5yrs no depresn ever mostly... and ya. that and heds/hsd 1.5-2yrs.

so ketamine sounds nice tbh.

I'm fitter than most ppl but ya I am cutting 7-8lbs last 2-3d and soon 11-12lbs. and 20lbs down in a week or so. 10-12 this wk soon. w 3 wrkts. gotta go rush... then go see friend and their family.

then wrkt here at home and external gym or both today, then here only. Fk no time. 4.11pm, took test cream and dex 3pm... NET of screens off at nite..

Bought this melania coin 67-70% down shd have bought it 85-95% down 85% today, but ya i pushed liqdn far away. BUTBsave 20-30hrs a week with 3% stop losses, 20hrs with nofap, and socialize more, get a cat.

GET EARPHONES, GEAR, Vits are ok, MEDS -- dex refill, aptmt for Test cream. stat stat. lets fucking go. wrkt and

MEDITATE MORE***. Meditate daily and use the offline journal. And also my counter for habits. lets go peace out.

Probably went from 400-500 reps to 700-800 bc of androgens sure, and choline... but moreover LESS joint instability. Mg, turmeric... ostarine, some dex, test cream, bracing, and taping should help. Not fking off at nite sometimes till 8am, will save me 20hrs, tighter stops 30hrs a week.. so I can study TA, and study for the academic stuff.

 

[MNK99]

--Feb 1st 2025: RE: Anxiety, Depresn, Trauma, ADHD, hEDS/HSD:
--need to maintain habits, then discipline, then life structure make better over time.

Doing great
but fucked up with nofap. and no meditation not planning offline not usind due app.
Need to save 40hrs a week, using tight stop losses, better TA, and literally taking time to study the latter. And meditation... and journalling/planning offline and digital timers/planner.
Never waste time lev trading popcat nor melania etc memcoins agn, in and out or long long term trades at generational bottoms and tops. BETTER TA and esp tight stop losses, will make this 10x easier.
--IF Trade gets invalidated get the fuck out.. for stocks, it'd save me in terrible biotech investment yrs ago, and also.. 16 yrs ago, with SVU.WTS, and also... like... TSLA gains, and also... like CGTX, cyngin,
--tho that last 2 are like 0.5% of account, ill buy dip with size, however, make sure that has tight 10-20% stop loss n reevaluate or.. 5-10% or 3%... but watch em carefully. ill do well but this is a pain in the ass.
--getting better, should like it, "love it", will later.
--I will be more capable of love, self love, and fucking women more... with, LESS FUCKING TRAUMA and ANXIETY, and a better life structure.. and being ripped and good looking (but ive done the last 2 for 20+yrs).
--get ketamine... and fucking lose autism, trauma whatever.
--keep running nofap, no pt being good looking, successful, and missing half my work.. or like my 2-3 pronged career.
-_Live up to potential. Fk the nonsense and trust ppl more the good ppl but work hard.
--Win.

--barely need to eat on strict carniv which is good, bc that is backup if this other stuff, carniv, hrt+/dex, later hrt+ incl. anavar, etc does not work for endocrine issues, fitness optimization, stress relief, anxiety, depression (both long run esp anxiety), and trauma (ya that too). And hEDS/HSD, the neuro parts like ADHD, possibly autism, trauma, anxiety sure is neuro too in many ways, and also... the physical parts. In detail: --I need to add meditation stat, and tight stop losses for any spot, lev crypto: to save 30-40hrs a week, keep internet habits good 50-55hrs. And I can easily study for test, and also learn TA (studying, that is like from prof notes and videos more or less). And I need to get medicine stat. And maybe use cannabis 3-4x a week is good enough for mood, without rekting gross motor skills, ligament laxity, proprioception, joint instability (the connective tissue disorder). And I am down like 7-8lbs, maybe 12lbs by week end., I was literally lighter with 25-30mins exercise 3-4x a week or zero, and just strict carnivore (litearlly 200lbs vs 208), but despite chronic pain and actual disability, I'm getting stronger. I will not fk around, no matter with a woman, with family, friends. I ate 600cals like 2d ago, and 400 yday, like 500-1000 later today. I respond well to extreme diets... not extreme but say maintenance is usually 1800-2200 or so, maybe 2700-3000 or so on gear, with daily workouts 3600-4500 (i got rid of most fat over 16 yrs ago, there isn't that much). more active, ill have some 5000cal days but maybe not for months, probably at times on rad and the like, but it is more like over 2days. Anyways, ill be 190s soon.

NOFAP alone gets rid of 50% of anxiety depression trauma.. helps ADHD a bit 10-20% 30% prolly esp with deadlines... for school helps a lot but u can manage with meds (for focus).

However, carniv gets rid of 40-50%, so add those together and strength training, with the accessibility things and medication... and I'm better. NF, Carniv, doors/windows/blinds open at times, and
journalling offline, and digital planner, and meditation, and strength training 6x or so a week, ideally 6-8 and 2-3 long walks maybe only walking pacing a bit. 5-10mins plus up and down stairs like 20x a day..

And like... ya do that. Take care. this is a message to me, for ppl that ask me who am I talking to and other stupid questions.

--i'm doing this for hEDS/HSD: NF, Strict carnivore, Test cream, test e, ostarine, dex.. later var, and if I want to ... later no meds... carniv 6mo for endocrine, 12mo-24mo for hEDS/HSD, and like.. anxiety, depresn, trauma, ADHD, are all implied. If I want to, TEI. As I said in log, for ppl that ask me what im doing for hEDS/HSD, it is that plus a psychedelic and or psychedelic-like substances, such as cannabis. Later not all in same yr, MDMA, ketamine. I mean trauma 2 yrs strict carniv... 1 yr for like... hEDS physical things, ya ill take ostarine and test for now.. and ketamine 10-20yrs trauma, ill take that over some sketchy therapist, that only got in due to social justice warriorism. And i need to workout now. Possibly best looking fittest and healthiest and happiest with zero coffee, zero dexedrine, only meat. But even ppl that are pretty good in fitness, health, and beat mental health and other related things, well... they fk up carniv once or twice or a week or two max and feel bad. so ortho medicine later, or just high baseline 90% of anxiety, 95-99% of depresn, and 85-90% of trauma gone or 75% and ADHD 90-95% well managed is good. tho it was like 95-98%. adjusting to carniv.

Probably eq, and sex issues some it is 50% PIED, from pron, and 30-40% vasoconstriction, hence great ability and staying power after 2-3d of nofap, and eating 20-22 30 40 hrs fasted, only meat.

Better at nite, better with meat.

 

[MNK99]

“She wears Shorts Skirts, I wear T-shirts, she’s cheer captain, I’m on the bleachers.”

Taylor Swift.

 

[MNK99]

Anyways fuck Taylor Swift. She had no body not a ton of talent 2 bn dollars somehow and i mean you’re rye retarded party frees terrorists rapists and serial arsonists and literally arms them. Retards.


Elon and trump are retards too
Even so I’ll get rich and stay it this year.

For punks thinking I’m talking shyt I was pre and actually ripped agn and will be super ripped agn I ate chocolate a lot of it after 3-4 d perfect and only worked out four times so what?? I’m crippled, what do u want from me. I relapsed nf too. And I’m high like a day later but I took choline and Theanine I’ll stay getting ripped.

I’ll get rich regardless and btw 500k 1mn lol I’ve already given back 2-3 mn usd lost profits yrs ago in my 20s basically and like lost out in 300mn to 2bn usd but that’s ok I’ll survive.

I’m only doing law bc I’m criminal minded
I’m isolated bc of disability and trauma and the test. ADHD etc I’ll keep Keri going most the time I like not having to use the ev and being mean and exceptional but I need strong habits 90d I a. Row to excel and not live 7.5-8/10 successful.

I deserve it all: acting, writing, trading, and law and being lean as fuck and regrowing my hair and becoming a golden god again.

“Could it be could it be could it be all I ever wanted is to be free.”
I will be lean, rich, and glorious and I will go back in time.

They all love me but they didn’t understand me till I was gone. You’ll never forget me.

 

[MNK99]

It’s not a lie if you believe it.
Not everything dies, Agent Mulder.
Who Am I, Where Am I Going?
Everywhere you go, there you are?

For ppl wondering late if I’m mental
No you retards, I’m just a 170 iq Pisces Aries cusp, that can afford to fuck around but also cannot.

Imagine being a rockstar at so many things but not being able to keep your life structured and trying to be elite at things that are challenging for no reason, when you’re elite at 4-5 other things that will pay to 50x more? Or (00 5000 x more.

Writing
Podcast
Law
Trading
Investing


You know I could have dropped college and sold real estate if not for shyness/autism rite? I’d have dated like 300 women maybe 1000 rather than like 18-23 or so briefly.

And I’d be married fine everything
Life settled.

Instead I have to take stuff to fuck around so that I am not trapped with and rekt with anxiety. When disability and ADHD are too bad.

I’m just free firm writing here. This is literally just some random stuff I won’t think about nor care about later. I’m just tying to force a workout even tho I’ll be stronger than ev1 who isn’t like 250 300 lbs and on hella gear and like insane genetic outliers 6’6 and 299 or 330 lbs muscle. Still tho like David Higgins my body is fhcned up in areas and yet I can’t just train insane I mean need. A life and health and hobbies I’m sure I can blast gear give up one or two jobs sort of and like just be ripped as fuck take some hair loss shyt so hard drugs to keep mood good but ya that isn’t me. I gotta be healthy and think in terms of longevity and really the goals and life u want and need, to be happy and free. To be at peace.

 

[MNK99]

I’m not rich but ya I’ve had 1btc days and 100k cad months or 20-40k if things get fucked Up and I take forever to close

Bc haven’t mastered ta and exits yet,

And ya I shd eventually make 100-200k cad a mo and 10-100k usd and will and prolly will do that with law but trust me it’s stressful and took yrs to get here and even at 3 mn usd that point in time prolly gave back 5-10mn usd off btc alone. As in lost profits. Ppl who know nothing about trading let alone crypto don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about but ya trust me you’re not doing this with the state of PFS that I had not PSSD at 20 21.

So ya I beat it if not 100% off pretty sure hormones would help me.

Doubt they’d help u cuz unlike me u didn’t live healthy 20* yrs thru training n diet.
Others with perfect genes and upbringing and money prolly didn’t get sick.

--7.13am, Feb 3rd 2025:
Slept 10hrs or more. 12? not sure then 15? cant be rite.. or well.. a lot 12-13 11 maybe last nite and hella day before.
NF. and eat rite exercise, fast all the time.. only red meat, fat, salt, some olive oil. i had ferroro after coke zero, and some hot sauce.. and ya bad. but im fine.. but i gotta workout. be near perfect. get rich.

be amazingly lean and handsome and catch up time.

---WOW dip as fuck on smthing i want bjut best ccase was selling tsll 340% and wait wait wait or 500 600 perc later and this shyt mangled but 150 140 percent some and buying this shyt minus 50 % in one day is good too tho shyt may fall 50 perc tmro or rise open 50 perc up then fall 80 perc so who knows. random thoughts there.

but ya ill murder it like i shd have rigetti. and buy more tsla and tsll on bear breakdowns and when tsla gains 50 100 200 pts. start small short , etf. ya. nice. at times. ill do that.

im talking about 5-6 dif scenarios there, there are an obvs 2-3 others. and more. so fk it. game theory, fundamentals, timing.. a bit, is what i do.

but im adding more TA for sure... taht will prevent fuckups and also 3 perc stop losses. lets go.

 

[MNK99]

---3mn fake refugees and illegals in canada, 30mn in america. news will tell u and letists will saay 7here 3000 there. anyways come over here and rule me america. treat me like a little girl. faggots.
ya it fx health i am not dating some onlyfans whore nor giving some bitch some money, nor is I being burned to death by some refugee, that your govt let out 20x for 200 charges. I wonder if releasing rapists, murderers, and convicted terrorists is a good idea.

-=-tired of these fucking brocolli haired mofos and false refugees constructing/ ruining a 1.5mn dollar house behind me.
get a job fuck u guys. it's minus 27 what u gonna do about it?? isn't it cold where these specific ppl from?? trudeau and jagmeet singh cant give u anymore money despite you rimming them and drinking their piss. you fucking cucks.