stud's titan dht experience

[RebelWithACause]

I slept on ritalin when I was prescribed. Crazy AF

Take it right before bed.

 

[MNK99]

I will say all the failed relationships,
staring at CAMH (center for addiction and mental health) ads on the train, on the way back was pretty fucking depressing.
And seeing my friend "E" (one of several "E's") nearly die several times (he's older and should get his shyt together).

 

[Helen]

I could never do coke much. I did not understand how people can be hooked on it. You do it for one day and then rest for a week)) LOL

I did so much better on booze LOL

 

[MNK99]

My cuzin didn't but one of his finance friends did, but he also says: He lost 6months- a year bc of it (some dude I know, he's a cool guy).

SOme ppl like to party, it's not my fault. It is shit after a short term tho. But, hi quality East Coast stuff is great. But, yeah... not amazing for you.

 

[Helen]

Coke is a drug for chicks. They become so crazy on it))

 

[RebelWithACause]

Best drugs for me is magic truffles/mushrooms. Low dose is good for anti-depression. I never do it. But people told me.

 

[MNK99]

Dr. House stabilized his mood with Vicodin. Maybe Vicodin and coke for ppl that can't afford dexedrine/wb or have no access.

NOT MEDICAL ADVICE, I AM NOT A DOCTOR.

"I function. I pay my bills Wilson. Isn't that enough?"

Wilson: "No dude!!!"

 

[RebelWithACause]

MDMA makes me homosexual empathic softy

Coke makes me statue, calm and ready to fight

Phenibut makes me joyful, social and smiling

GHB makes me joyful, social and extremely HORNY

Ritalin makes me confident, paranoid and want to kill people

Weed makes me happy emotional softy

Alcohol makes me energetic and annoying

Magic truffles make me see reality behind the curtain

 

[MNK99]

MDMA IS AMAZING. BUT some guys did get really really close to me, took a while to realize, they must have been rolling, I was too high to notice.

"Ritalin makes me confident, paranoid and want to kill people"

last 2 parts are pretty bad haahahaa!

 

[RebelWithACause]

When I was on ritalin I thought my parents, friends, teachers and doctors were trying to ruin my life.

 

[MNK99]

YA me too with effexor, everything, but my friends actually were and it was impossible to distinguish who from who, and family kinda is narcissistic as fuck.
But that was different, FUck YOU EFFEXOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ritalin just didn't cut it, after coke and espresso, and trying dexedrine. BUT yeah liking girls or say... ANYTHING is harder on those stim meds at times. Just a machine, just a dog of war. Ritalin crash is fast. EPH may be better.

-wait a sec.

 

[MNK99]

-I thought about these 18 potential meds: From My Log.
-Coca Tea, Coke, etc. --CBD, Lithium Orotate which I wrote on before. Maybe only 12-14 things listed here now. -MDMA, etc. -Fluoro-amps.

-Garbage: Vyvanse, Ritalin, Adderall. --> For me.

MMJ, GPC, etc. Stims.
MMJ seems fine for mood 2hrs later fine chilled... took time at first/ getting dosage and timing around other things, as well as not being too messed up. Tolerance.

-There's Alpha-GPC and Citocoline (found effective at lowering substance abuse in BP disorders, in limited studies, in my status updates).
-But more immediately effective, for lowering agitation/ bad mood, and not wanting to deal with / no patience with people, when I wake up, and also on stimulants (before taking them and sometimes on them for too long or higher doses, but also even just taking them at all, I mean amphetamines*), LiOr - works well.

Rotate all three of those two and LiOr/Lith Aspartate if need be, better than Effexor and a ton of things people are on.

--NOTE on potential replacements for D-Amphetamine: (Future, and they're all kind of bad too).

-Since I read about the neurotoxicity of amps (probably I have read the studies, and skimmed them, AND* taken notes 2-3 times before, but I of course never completely remember), I looked into other things, mostly research chemicals.
- 4-FA*
-2-FA*
-2-FMA*
-Methylphenidate and
-Ethylphenidate*
*=research chems.

4-FA is like"MDMA's little energetic brother". That's like me!
-BUT: as a triple (Serotonin, Dopamine, and Norepinephrine) releaser (I think), it is probably not better than amps for day to day functioning (too euphoric, depleting, addictive possibly, and not a crystal clear sustainable focus).
-2-FA* might be closer or 2-MFA.
-Ethylphenidate may be better than (slightly better than) Methylphenidate (i.e. MPH, the psychoactive in Ritalin, Concerta) for some people.
-All these may be more empathogenic than say coke, dexedrine, adderall.

-I am not going to try all or even most of these (and probably not for a long time), but I am interested in things, especially stimulants.
-Releasers (agonists like amphetamine), of dopamine are bad.
-Cocaine, MPH, EPH do not cause the type of damage they cause. ALL of them cause some issues of course... and MPH, EPH and the like probably cause agitation, bruxism as well for some people.
-AMPS cause psychosis for some, which is probably worse. -->Potentially neurotoxic, consult Euro Primate Studies.
-Ritalin didn't last me very long, I couldn't tell if it helped... was antsy, and I came from harder things -- so it wasn't that great. BUT didn't feel too unsafe. I had 1 month prescription I maybe used at most 13 or 14 days and freaked out and thought it was a waste of time and or dangerous (5-6 years ago or so).

-So limited use of amps, and either LiOR and Alpha-GPC or other cholines. -LiOr as the strong NDMA antagonist in conjunction with Mg.
-NEVER continually upping tolerance and hence brain damage, which may have let neuro viruses flourish in PFS, but I don't think most ppl think on this level.
-I vaped like EVERY day 4 weeks ago... I think I should have tolerance by now, no?
-It's pretty good and chilling. I only have 2 Indica's (Moby Dick CBD) and GirlScoutCookies (nice, but not that functional).


-Still jealous of those people who claim to manage EVERY SINGLE condition with marijuana (which is crazy to me).
-then Stimulant + some mix of the above three can help.... the best thing for me? I don't know, I kind of do... but I'm sure I'll try different things too.
-Maybe Fluoro-amphetamines will replace some of the prescription stimulants in North America? Probably not for a long time.
-Keep in mind, ADDERALL isn't on the market (USA) because "it is safer than Dexedrine" and "Desoxyn". i.e. DESOXYN = Pure Meth. I.e. Adderall Racemic L and D-amps.
-FOR ENJOYMENT and SELF-BELIEF (minus the sometimes soul-crushing crashes), I still prefer the NRI and Serotonergic affects of Benzoylmethylecgonine.

-From Wiki: " Benzoylmethylecgonine acts by inhibiting the reuptake of serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine"
-That's a rich person's drug... my friends told me, and not to fuck with it till already successful, I was 21.

-Medical doses lower. Limit coffee.
-Dexedrine was used by armies all over the world... (possibly true). So safe enough. Not like child soldiers and extremist factions (they use something that is lesser quality most the time, most likely).

--ANYWAYS BACK TO @Stud. CARRY ON!!! AND NEVER FORGET, NECESSITY IS THE MOTHER OF ALL INVENTIONS!!!!
--Anyways, over and out.

 

[MNK99]

@Helen. this doesn't mean I'm on tons of drugs, just looked into it. Maybe I'm a cop. Who knows rite. ANYWAYS GOOD DAY.

WEED = TERRIBLE FOR ADHD. Ya no shyt.

@Helen are you a cop? You gotta tell me if you're a cop!!!
(that's actually not true).

Who sent you here??
Interpol?
The Russians?

Darknet?

Who do you work for?
The GRU?
Spetsnaz?
NSA?

Who do you work for!!!!????

#FREESNOWDEN

 

[Area-1255]

Look COKE CURED PSSD and treated ADHD (not so well) but cured mood problems except for withdrawal. And or running around, hiding, paranoia, cost, weirdos, and depression in crash. And deviated septum.

HENCE, NDRI WELLBUTRIN + DEX (right doses for Med 1, I don't know) could very well work for me.
I've been sober yeeeeeeears.

ONLY FELT NORMAL on EFFEXOR when I first tried coke, one day, then never again till a year later. And running, fasted training, eating rite helped.
Then alcoholism was bad.
Quit, then coke... got me thru college a bit. But yeah, that's a shitty way to do it. And it was easier on dex, minus being awake 140hrs at a time, or like 118/140hrs.
I'm gonna change all kinds of things I've said in case a doc sees this.

Actually, running around and hiding in pure Paranoia is Adrenaline, not Dopamine. Adrenaline is hyper-sensory, environmental based, Agitated/Stimulated - erratic and out-of-control.
A PURE Norepinephrine-Reuptake Inhibitor known as REBOXETINE - was once trialed by someone BRIEFLY who later on in the SAME EVENING - found themselves running down the Street in Pure Fear of God-Knows what...only to hide behind a BUSH for THE ENTIRE NIGHT. WTF!!! [REFERENCE]

 

[MNK99]

True true... definitely, didn't mean to imply that was my final draft. But it is good to know. So the paranoia in schizophrenia and schizoaffective, may be NE as well? Rather than their excess dopamine?
Just curiosity, this question.
Well it could also be psychosis at times, and delusions, and disturbing visuals.
Schizoaffective is even worse than Bipolar, bc it's like SCHZ but with mania and depression too. That's fucking harsh.
Luckily I only fit BPII most the time. Otherwise, school, work... ya you'd need some shyt to get thru.

 

[Area-1255]

True true... definitely, didn't mean to imply that was my final draft. But it is good to know. So the paranoia in schizophrenia and schizoaffective, may be NE as well? Rather than their excess dopamine?

Yes. The "Paranoia" as in "why is this guy Staring at me" is Norepinephrine/Adrenaline. Anything sensory is like that. Dopamine on the other hand, in Excess is connected to bizarre and unusual thought patterns - Complex Delusions, Weird Fantasies, Misinterpreting things or Focusing too much on "everything happening for a Reason".
When you are Dopamine dominant - you are STUCK in your Head; either overly Isolated/Introverted, or overly Extroverted, with a higher chance of Social Isolation.
When you are Norepinephrine dominant, you are Anxious, Paranoid, Ruminating, Intent, too Serious/never loosening up, Cocky but Afraid when Confronted; as the Adrenaline spill over from an ACTUAL Confrontation or some jacked dude sizing you up will shake you out of your Boots and literally run backwards into a Sewer! 'Point is - you can't really be "Alpha" when you are running on PURE Adrenaline, now can You?
Pure Adrenaline = Fear = Stress = Not Healthy = No Life.

 

[MNK99]

-FK.
-Yeah def I've been fear ridden and am mostly fearless. BUT NO FEAR even when you NEED IT = FUCKED.
-i.e. ON EFFEXOR higher doses, where it became true MANIA (found out 26, and then a bit later, indeed when looking at that doctor's notes. While crashing from fin, -and wanting to try Medical cannabis). Holy fuck, so much has happened. But it's ok. I'll keep at it.

-AND rite now maybe between HI NE AND HI DOPAMINE. BUT NEED HELP WITH THE DOPAMINE bc it also falls. Or perhaps clears quick? Or I'm insensitive a bit?
-Rewiring with NOFAP. And use Mg as we've both said a lot. And also Theanine at times, but I don't think I need it to sleep, just a sleep mask earlier in nite + earbuds.

-STUCK in head indeed, that's why I like choline a bit, a lot at times and also nofap, bc care more about spending time with girls and even friends, friends that you want to see but sometimes think "well I have to get work done."

-Not afraid of fighting but bees. LOL! And not really afraid of most car crashes, but also am super fast while walking. Scared of a lot of other shyt tho... centipedes a bit, and other things. Fear of failure a bit but getting better.

-I'll add this to my notes, so I can say things to my doc to point into right treatment, tho he knows I have ADHD but needs to do a reassessment, bc I left due to Fin.

 

[Area-1255]

-FK.
-Yeah def I've been fear ridden and am mostly fearless. BUT NO FEAR even when you NEED IT = FUCKED.
-i.e. ON EFFEXOR higher doses, where it became true MANIA (found out 26, and then a bit later, indeed when looking at that doctor's notes. While crashing from fin, -and wanting to try Medical cannabis). Holy fuck, so much has happened. But it's ok. I'll keep at it.

-AND rite now maybe between HI NE AND HI DOPAMINE. BUT NEED HELP WITH THE DOPAMINE bc it also falls. Or perhaps clears quick? Or I'm insensitive a bit?
-Rewiring with NOFAP. And use Mg as we've both said a lot. And also Theanine at times, but I don't think I need it to sleep, just a sleep mask earlier in nite + earbuds.

-STUCK in head indeed, that's why I like choline a bit, a lot at times and also nofap, bc care more about spending time with girls and even friends, friends that you want to see but sometimes think "well I have to get work done."

-Not afraid of fighting but bees. LOL! And not really afraid of most car crashes, but also am super fast while walking. Scared of a lot of other shyt tho... centipedes a bit, and other things. Fear of failure a bit but getting better.

-I'll add this to my notes, so I can say things to my doc to point into right treatment, tho he knows I have ADHD but needs to do a reassessment, bc I left due to Fin.

You are Coherent and Articulate when you write though.
You have some minor typical City-Folk Flamboyance, then you emphasize things like 'shyt' versus Shit...when we all KNOW you know how to Spell Shit.
You shorten *some* words like Because as "bc" - which means that your Energy, Passion and Social Style is remaining unified.
Rather than drifting off and becoming "too serious" - thus not using the proper proportion of Contractions in Speech/Writing - you maintain a Sense of Familiarity and Communication with those around. Because you CONTRACT *Strategically*. To embrace human communication. To utilize your Masculine & Ambitious self. To let others know "hey I am who I am, I make myself known". Yet you have Humility, and you embrace it. You don't TAKE things to Heart too much. But you probably 'hold a lot in...let 'me Guess (Anger? Certain things people say that are like Subtle Insults!??)
You use DASHES like "-" as bullets, because you are separating points for good emphasis. Thus drawing out Discussions and Conclusions from others.
...That IN PART - because you KNOW I read the WHOLE DAMN THING you just fucking' wrote in like 5 Seconds...so obviously you are appealing to my Genius mind with Eidetic Memory. And probably laughing at the balance of Responses vs Non-Responses.
...That's OK. Everybody 'around me has observed my 'Laziness at one point...why not You?
Then again - I'm so 'damn busy with Jobs, Contracts, Moving Sh!t (pulled a YOU!) and constant writing a pursuit of Goals...
I could EASILY make an Excuse as to why there is either no-response, or delayed responses, at certain times.
With that being said...you are a Good Friend - and hope you STAY my 'Pal!
You are a VERY Intelligent Fellow with a lot to Offer the World!!!!!!
You don't underestimate yourself deep down...even if on the surface it seems easy to let occasional negative emotions simmer and then sink during qualms and times of Disruption and Disequilibrium. But you open your eyes to the Wisdom of others and the Beauty - that is the MIRACLE of Human Communication - and sharing Thoughts.
That you become not a Proxy to intellectual input but are Graced to be the Receiver of such Knowledges. By which we all communicate them - and in knowing-so, you, like me - have Aspirations and see throughout in ways most others on this Forum DO NOT.
You and I have that in common.
There is that ANALYTICAL SENSE...KNOWING, you will be ELITE in some way, Fashion or Form.
That's what we BOTH SHARE @MNK99 - that's your 'Calling, as it is Mine.
THUS, I 'Summon you to Congratulate yourself on DEEP INSIGHT and on staying so Patient in keeping up all these HEATED and Painfully Deliberate Conversations and STIR-UPS you Create Here.
...For you have outdone yourself in a Way.
Luckily, since we are so on-point and identical - there's no reason to Argue with Us.
The question will always be - whether Separation and a Fury of Disorganization will ever become APPARENT as an ILLUSION or the WORST NIGHTMARE ON EARTH - that a disorganization of THOUGHTS - at one point becomes a HORRIBLE REALITY. One that is in Our Face, unforgiving, and like a Shadow taking the 'Post of the Grim Reaper, waiting to REAP our Lives for an occasional forethought of Salience and Doubt. That because our THOUGHTS were DISTORTED JUST ONCE!!!
...That now we are not deserving of Life, as with the Metaphor. As with all things though - they come & Go.
An occasional disorganization of thoughts should be defined as having its Merits.
As long as you have some Degree of COHERENCE as DEMONSTRATED HERE, Right Now!
We are both Coherent, and Analytical & Intellectual.
If not MAINTAINING Coherence then at least knowing that our INTELLIGENCE will ALWAYS BE THERE...THUS, LEAVING ROOM FOR CORRECTION AT ANY POINT WHERE IT MAY BE REQUIRED!!!!!!
There are TRULY No-Limits to the Human Mind.
As to your Train of Thought - and to be REALLY SPECIFIC.
I'd say your neurotransmitters are a bit like mine, probably like this...

--> High-ish Histamine
--> Moderate Acetylcholine
--> Hovering between LOWish-MID-HIGH Norepinephrine (bordering)
--> Low-Mid Glutamate
--> Low-ish GABA
--> Moderate-Elevated Dopamine (I'm betting you 'THRIVE on the Mental Chaos/Chatter as well, at times???)

 

[MNK99]

I love you bro! @Area-1255 we will party it up in NY. And I will read this. HAHA!!!
MOSTLY ADHD fits me. But, who knows... I don't know man. But I will keep all this stuff in mind.

CHAOS only thing I do. Like sales, trading***, some "arguments/work/debate" stuff (shh!!), and.... writing.
NORMAL JOBS = fired/ walked out.

I guess I could sell oil equipment or like med device sales.
CARS? Better fucking practice driving.
Grind at bank for 10y... ya I'd rather not. First job first real job I guess was at a bank.

Haha thanks. I will give notes to my DOC. He'll be interested. MDPU guy too bc like you he soaks up everything like a sponge.

-I'd like to and my brother is serious, resolve some beefs at his private clinic (collect and steer ppl straight). Parents = crazy, still think he has no idea (despite being a surgeon). Know how smart I am, but tell me to eat and all kinds of crazy shyt. But yeah, that's what parents do.

-You know how to read minds too. The kind of "JD" I aspire to be. A good example after many many shitty ones. You and one of my uncles, and great great grandfather... A lot, super piss me off.

-BUT yeah, I understand on not replying bro!! You're a genius. And crazy too. You too @Helen, but you're mean also. Lol.

 

[Area-1255]

I love you bro! @Area-1255 we will party it up in NY. And I will read this. HAHA!!!
MOSTLY ADHD fits me. But, who knows... I don't know man. But I will keep all this stuff in mind.

CHAOS only thing I do. Like sales, trading***, some law stuff (shh!!), and.... writing.
NORMAL JOBS = fired/ walked out.

I guess I could sell oil equipment or like med device sales.
CARS? Better fucking practice driving.
Grind at bank for 10y... ya I'd rather not. First job first real job I guess was at a bank.

Haha thanks. I will give notes to my DOC. He'll be interested. MDPU guy too bc like you he soaks up everything like a sponge.

-I'd like to and my brother is serious, resolve some beefs at his private clinic (collect and steer ppl straight). Parents = crazy, still think he has no idea (despite being a surgeon). Know how smart I am, but tell me to eat and all kinds of crazy shyt. But yeah, that's what parents do.

-You know how to read minds too. The kind of "JD" I aspire to be. A good example after many many shitty ones. You and one of my uncles, and great great grandfather... A lot, super piss me off.

-BUT yeah, I understand on not replying bro!! You're a genius. And crazy too. You too @Helen, but you're mean also. Lol.

Yeah I've always had these Strange Abilities; like Clairovoyance and Behavior Interpretation...think about it like this - the SECOND I see someone in Person, I will have TOTALLY Analyzed about 3-4 things OR MORE (subconsciously) about their Demeanor, Gestures...I will have IMMEDIATELY decoded their 'Whole Personality, their Flaws - their Exploits. I KNOW without Knowing by Ordinary Knowledge. Because I have ALREADY Perceived the things that lie beyond the normal acquisition patterns.
I have already understood whether the Person IN-FRONT OF ME - is Ordinary, Pedestrian, Typical, Erratic, losing 'Sight of their Emotions; their Body-and-Mind out of balance...or if they are Unique, Distinct, Isolated for one reason or another - or communicatively deficit for one Reason OR another.
I once looked at some Guy while I was in Jail once. And he had mental issues. I said - "bro, every sign about your Face, points to Mercury poisoning; the flushing, the red hands, the pink strips near your Nails, the Depression you exert around here, its there bro, its noticeable, and it ain't Good". (He replied "I think I remember a Doctor telling me that once, something about Mercury in my Bloodwork"
I then proceeded to PROVE (to MYSELF) my Clairovoyance, Spiritual Insight and such...and said to him, without HESITATION "you had a Father who was a Drunk, a Morbid Alcoholic, he Abused you, tried you CONTROL your Mother, And made you Feel PASSIVE, Depressed...then you started drinking, a bit as a 'Habit, because you thought it was "Right" - that it would 'Solve things (seemingly) as it did your Dad...but now here you are - in Trouble with the Law, locked up here, with US. On this Block. Am I right or Am I close?
...The guy responded : "Wow, that's all True, how do you know this, I've never met you, Right?".

NOW, HOW IN THE FUCK could I just "KNOW" that?
I couldn't.
But Instincts carry and FETCH information off of Brain Waves...so in a Second, someones Past and their Emotions become MINE.
Not for exploitation, but for understanding.
For the POINT of it ALL - and the IRONY - I still DON'T understand WHY I'm gifted with these POWERS - YET.
...But I know that AS A MAN OF SCIENCE - if it weren't for my PAST...Uniquely DRIZZLED in Spiritual Foundation, that is, the CLAUSE that lets all Understanding In, and yet, in Contradiction - for the SKEWED Minds of My YOUTH, or those of My Mother or her Side - who once never Really CARED but PRETENDED to - or perhaps in their Subtle, Faked, NONCHALANTIFIED NARCISSISM - that I would "ABIDE" by Church...rather than FIND MY OWN FUCKING GOD. Rather than FIND GOD MYSELF.
I'm Independent.
Always have been.
I do me and get along Great with ME.
...And with OTHERS, where 'Needed.
...But there's a PSYCHIC ELEMENT here...that is so POWERFUL - and so TRANSCENDENT - that EVEN, as a Man of SCIENCE. I WONDER'.
Because the Reality is so THERE.
So, Significant.
That one CAN'T HELP - but to Think of the Possibilities.
The New Era of Research I have helped CREATE.
HOPEFULLY, not Creating a MONSTER in the Process.
I guess that's my ONE FEAR - A PART OF ME that knows it RELIES on a Certain REALITY TO BE TRUE.
An Expected, Anticipated, Fulfilling Destiny & Aspirations which go ALONG WITH IT.
Because in Reality...I have so MUCH Knowledge, so much EXPANSION.
That I would never truly want to become on the "Dark Side" of things.
Being a 'GREEDY Fucking Politician, or some Power-Hungry Maniac scamming thousands of People.
NOPE - I've maintained my Morality.
Don't get me wrong though - BANE IS HERE ALIVE AND WELL!!!
'Ready to take over...but I'll settle for a NICE GF I 'end up MARRYING who's about 17-19 years old, give or take LOL.
Like how they do it down in TEXAS. Marry the Young & Faithful.
That will quench my THIRST for POWER. (LONG as she has an INNOCENT FACE AND BODY!!!)
...
The Story Goes On.