esp90 log

Aleksandr

Aleksandr

Well-Known Member
Messages
1,285
esp90 said:
Its weird, i went to a new barber today. I asked him how old he was and he said 26, i asked him how old he thought i was, he said 25. Im actually 35 years old, and i feel about 15 years old. I have a pretty puffy babyface, i will probably look 30 when Im 45. Im 6'4 tall 35 years old and feel like 15, i feel afraid of life, i feel kinda handicapped in a way, dont know how people have families and live normal lives, i get anxiety from even thinking about it.
I believe technology is a big problem for me, i think it overstimulates my nervous system, but also need it to not feel my supressed emotions. I think this is part of why I am like i am. Dont know the solution though...go on TEI program and disconnect from tech for 5 years? Doesnt seem possible..I just dont see a way out of this. Sure i have my own appartment, i have a mediocre job. But im 35 and have never had a girlfriend. Though i know girls are interested in me, but even the thought of meeting someone makes me anxious, my symptoms would be in the way, wouldn't be able to relax being with a girl.
All of my "friends" already have their own families and have had them for years, im so far behind and dont know where to begin. Just had to went a bit...
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It's normal to feel anxious in such situations. Do it anyway. And if you can't, start with something smaller and gradually notch up incrementally bigger wins of things that make you anxious but that you still overcame.

Disconnecting from technology has nothing to do with ARL, just do ARL. It's not realistic to expect a total disconnect from technology. You can try to limit browsing social media or something.

Life is full of anxiety for everyone, if you're never anxious you're never truly living. I hope this post finds you in empathy.
 
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Yura

Well-Known Member
Messages
1,351
@Aleksandr But he is feeling anxious for a reason. He is unbalanced toxic/deficient. You will not overcome this by pretending that you are normal and healthy 35yo.. I know it because I am exactly like that. 39yo and when I look at other 39yo I see him like my uncle or some friend of my parents and not a guy the same age as me.. I used to believe this bullshit that you need to push yourself and over time you will "transform' to average guy. It works. But for healthy people who don't have fucked up endocrine system and element balance in he body. The way it works is the more you are healthy/balanced the more you want to be with people naturally. But if you are for example toxic in some metals like copper low in zinc etc. It will completely alter your behavior and you can't fix that by pretending that you are healthy adult male when if fact you know you are like a little scared kid.. If you push it in that scenario you just burn out because you will run on stress all the time. I know that mentally many adults are like bigger kids. Stupid, naive etc.. But their body is balanced. They have the body of adult with all the hormones and stuff. So they can act stupid like a kids sometimes like guys do often times, but they know they belong in his age group. He doesn't feel like that scared child as that unbalanced guy does.. It is hard to explain to someone who never felt that way..
@esp90 I think HTMA and balancing is the best choice+ I would stop PC games and stupid stuff like that. Hopefully you are moving your body already. Lifting is really great. You want capable body once you are balanced not some skinny fat child like once you are mentally ready.. Pretending in a club that you are mentally fully developed guy it doesn't work. But what does work is to do hard stuff with your body. It will change you mentally the same as nutritional balancing.. I think me pushing my body with bodybuidling, cycling etc. is what saved my life. If I didn't have that under my belt I would be dead by now 100%. It helps you be more resilient. Naturally without faking anything..
 
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RebelWithACause

Well-Known Member
Messages
2,498
Same. You probably a bit underdeveloped and weaker puberty. Nothing wrong with that but it can be hard if you want to be normal. It gets better when your hormones work better etc. Health better.
 
highserotonin90

highserotonin90

Well-Known Member
Messages
128
esp90 said:
yes But im going with TEI again this time. Also no practitioner. Ive noticed when i increase my oxidation rate my hair loss increase...since higher metabolic rate = more androgens. Im thinking of trying to combat it trying to stimulate bloodflow to scalp with massages, handstands ect. But im suspecting its a losing battle, i bet many of you have tried this too
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From what gbol said (I'm going from memory), purely androgenic hair loss always stems from protein waste in which cortisol is either too sensitive (high) or not sensitive and low (but be careful because blood tests may show elevated levels because it binds to aldosterone receptors and retains sodium, resulting in a false positive). Therefore, protein wasting is not necessarily due to a high metabolism.
 
Aleksandr

Aleksandr

Well-Known Member
Messages
1,285
Y
Yura said:
@Aleksandr But he is feeling anxious for a reason. He is unbalanced toxic/deficient. You will not overcome this by pretending that you are normal and healthy 35yo.. I know it because I am exactly like that. 39yo and when I look at other 39yo I see him like my uncle or some friend of my parents and not a guy the same age as me.. I used to believe this bullshit that you need to push yourself and over time you will "transform' to average guy. It works. But for healthy people who don't have fucked up endocrine system and element balance in he body. The way it works is the more you are healthy/balanced the more you want to be with people naturally. But if you are for example toxic in some metals like copper low in zinc etc. It will completely alter your behavior and you can't fix that by pretending that you are healthy adult male when if fact you know you are like a little scared kid.. If you push it in that scenario you just burn out because you will run on stress all the time. I know that mentally many adults are like bigger kids. Stupid, naive etc.. But their body is balanced. They have the body of adult with all the hormones and stuff. So they can act stupid like a kids sometimes like guys do often times, but they know they belong in his age group. He doesn't feel like that scared child as that unbalanced guy does.. It is hard to explain to someone who never felt that way..
@esp90 I think HTMA and balancing is the best choice+ I would stop PC games and stupid stuff like that. Hopefully you are moving your body already. Lifting is really great. You want capable body once you are balanced not some skinny fat child like once you are mentally ready.. Pretending in a club that you are mentally fully developed guy it doesn't work. But what does work is to do hard stuff with your body. It will change you mentally the same as nutritional balancing.. I think me pushing my body with bodybuidling, cycling etc. is what saved my life. If I didn't have that under my belt I would be dead by now 100%. It helps you be more resilient. Naturally without faking anything..
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You guys don't know what he's going through, everyone has a different path so don't try to extinguish the flame before he's tried.

If you're healthier i agree it's easier to be less anxious but exposure therapy is a known and proven method to help regardless. Some of this is just straight down to personality too. I'm not saying an introvert with health problems is going to become the most extroverted person alive, but maybe they lose enough anxiety to start dating and end up with a girlfriend, or make more friends, new hobbies, whatever it is. It would be a big increase of quality of life.
 
Aleksandr

Aleksandr

Well-Known Member
Messages
1,285
Yura said:
@Aleksandr But he is feeling anxious for a reason. He is unbalanced toxic/deficient. You will not overcome this by pretending that you are normal and healthy 35yo.. I know it because I am exactly like that. 39yo and when I look at other 39yo I see him like my uncle or some friend of my parents and not a guy the same age as me.. I used to believe this bullshit that you need to push yourself and over time you will "transform' to average guy. It works. But for healthy people who don't have fucked up endocrine system and element balance in he body. The way it works is the more you are healthy/balanced the more you want to be with people naturally. But if you are for example toxic in some metals like copper low in zinc etc. It will completely alter your behavior and you can't fix that by pretending that you are healthy adult male when if fact you know you are like a little scared kid.. If you push it in that scenario you just burn out because you will run on stress all the time. I know that mentally many adults are like bigger kids. Stupid, naive etc.. But their body is balanced. They have the body of adult with all the hormones and stuff. So they can act stupid like a kids sometimes like guys do often times, but they know they belong in his age group. He doesn't feel like that scared child as that unbalanced guy does.. It is hard to explain to someone who never felt that way..
@esp90 I think HTMA and balancing is the best choice+ I would stop PC games and stupid stuff like that. Hopefully you are moving your body already. Lifting is really great. You want capable body once you are balanced not some skinny fat child like once you are mentally ready.. Pretending in a club that you are mentally fully developed guy it doesn't work. But what does work is to do hard stuff with your body. It will change you mentally the same as nutritional balancing.. I think me pushing my body with bodybuidling, cycling etc. is what saved my life. If I didn't have that under my belt I would be dead by now 100%. It helps you be more resilient. Naturally without faking anything..
Click to expand...
It's such a "woe is me" mentality man.

The opposite end of the spectrum is David Goggins going for a run and he breaks a bone in the first 10 minutes of a 2hr run and he goes "Great, this will make it harder so I get to train my mentality more".

Both are extremely ends of the spectrum. Don't throw the baby out with the bath water. You're not going to destroy yourself by pushing through a bit of anxiety. I'm not saying to do it all the time or run with a broken leg. The idea is you push through a bit, over come, then that amount doesn't phase you next time, you can push a little more.
 
Y

Yura

Well-Known Member
Messages
1,351
Aleksandr said:
It's such a "woe is me" mentality man.

The opposite end of the spectrum is David Goggins going for a run and he breaks a bone in the first 10 minutes of a 2hr run and he goes "Great, this will make it harder so I get to train my mentality more".

Both are extremely ends of the spectrum. Don't throw the baby out with the bath water. You're not going to destroy yourself by pushing through a bit of anxiety. I'm not saying to do it all the time or run with a broken leg. The idea is you push through a bit, over come, then that amount doesn't phase you next time, you can push a little more.
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Obviously I am not talking about extremes. Which I did because you really start to enjoy it and crave it. That high cortisol/adrenalin we all know how it works. I was not talking about that. I was talking about simply using your body and doing something that is at least somewhat uncomfortable. Like you said so you can create stimul for adaptation.. Same with social anxiety. Yeah maybe he is not that bad like I am, but if he is really unbalanced you will never feel comfortable around healthy, high energy people..
 
esp90

esp90

Well-Known Member
Messages
203
highserotonin90 said:
From what gbol said (I'm going from memory), purely androgenic hair loss always stems from protein waste in which cortisol is either too sensitive (high) or not sensitive and low (but be careful because blood tests may show elevated levels because it binds to aldosterone receptors and retains sodium, resulting in a false positive). Therefore, protein wasting is not necessarily due to a high metabolism.
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Ok whats thr solution here then? Eat more proteins? I do have a amino acid deficiency according to my organic acid test, i do EAA from time to time. Will TEI take care of this?
 
esp90

esp90

Well-Known Member
Messages
203
RebelWithACause said:
Same. You probably a bit underdeveloped and weaker puberty. Nothing wrong with that but it can be hard if you want to be normal. It gets better when your hormones work better etc. Health better.
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I was very late to puberty. Also was a porn addict before puberty, maybe that messed me up aswell
 
Y

Yura

Well-Known Member
Messages
1,351
Yeah you are not alone bro.. I wasted so much life energy. It's really fucking sad..
 
esp90

esp90

Well-Known Member
Messages
203
Wow, how long did it take? Congrats man, how long did you suffer from it?
manu said:
Yes I have had POIS.
I had extreme brain fog, fatigue and felt very cold after orgasm.
ARL fixed it. I don't feel anything in that regard anymore. Even after multiple times per day... maybe little bit fatigue but that's it..
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manu

manu

Well-Known Member
Messages
198
Well in total I was 3 years on the program. Can't tell you when exactly it was fixed...
I guess after about two years...

It was horrible... I stayed completely abstinent during the week because I would be unable to do my job otherwise (job is very analytical and brain fog was heavy).
Even that way my colleagues asked me what the hell I am doing on the weekend because I am always retarded on monday...
Tough times and I don't really want to talk about it anymore.
I can recommend ARL but who knows if it works for you as well.
Good luck man!
 
esp90

esp90

Well-Known Member
Messages
203
Aleksandr said:
It's such a "woe is me" mentality man.

The opposite end of the spectrum is David Goggins going for a run and he breaks a bone in the first 10 minutes of a 2hr run and he goes "Great, this will make it harder so I get to train my mentality more".

Both are extremely ends of the spectrum. Don't throw the baby out with the bath water. You're not going to destroy yourself by pushing through a bit of anxiety. I'm not saying to do it all the time or run with a broken leg. The idea is you push through a bit, over come, then that amount doesn't phase you next time, you can push a little more.
Click to expand...
I read you tried different things gbol talked about for hairloss like zinc mang salt lecithin...did any of it help you? How is your hair doing lately and has anything worked for you? I thought about trying the lecithin but read your experience with it lol..
 
Aleksandr

Aleksandr

Well-Known Member
Messages
1,285
esp90 said:
I read you tried different things gbol talked about for hairloss like zinc mang salt lecithin...did any of it help you? How is your hair doing lately and has anything worked for you? I thought about trying the lecithin but read your experience with it lol..
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The zinc and manganese thinned it out. Gbold was just talking random theories most of the time, following ARL / TEI has helped it the most. I bought a topical hair care product recently that's been helping it too, check my log for more info on it.
 
esp90

esp90

Well-Known Member
Messages
203
Aleksandr said:
The zinc and manganese thinned it out. Gbold was just talking random theories most of the time, following ARL / TEI has helped it the most. I bought a topical hair care product recently that's been helping it too, check my log for more info on it.
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Did you lose hair initially on the programs? I did tei for one cycle and receeded alot from it. Maybe it gets better with time. Ok I will buy the Serum and try for myself. Thanks
 
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