esp90 log

Aleksandr

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1,285
Did you lose hair initially on the programs? I did tei for one cycle and receeded alot from it. Maybe it gets better with time. Ok I will buy the Serum and try for myself. Thanks
i don't think i did, no. i think it depends on what the program is doing though, if its creating more androgens its possible to speed up hairloss
 

esp90

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203
Yeah, but if im not mistaken gbol said estrogen was the reason for hairloss and once you get rid of the copper overload hair should comeback. But yeah i took progesterone, ssri, saw palmetto for like a year maybe 20 years ago (not for hairloss) and maybe they put me in like a pfs state and thats why I kept my hair this long and once TEI start balancing me i will lose the hair i would lost sooner if it wasnt for the imbalance i caused. Ive noticed anything that makes me feel better and improving symptoms also cause me hairloss. Hopefully as the mineral balancing goes on it stops. Although looking at the ones who has done mineral balancing for years theirs has not come back.

Maybe the solution is to work on it from the outside such as the dermaroller ect. getting bloodflow to the scalp.
I have ordered the Serum you talked about too.
i don't think i did, no. i think it depends on what the program is doing though, if its creating more androgens its possible to speed up hairloss
 

Yura

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Messages
1,351
Gbold/Helen said a lot of confusing info. Most guys who clearly look high in DHT - good masculine traits like lean, wide shoulders, big Adam's apple, a lot of body hair(good beard) well developed dick are bald in their 20s and they are not copper toxic. They never had high estrogen to accumulate that copper.. Vise versa child/girl like looking guys with a lot of fat around hips, ass, with gyno have good hair and they are estrogen dominant and are accumulating more copper. I think higher estrogen, ceruloplasmin= better hair for sure. So I struggle to understand where Helene came up with his ideas..
I am that second case. But now my estrogen is low and hairloss is going strong.. I am probably in menopause lol..
 
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esp90

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203
Gbold/Helen said a lot of confusing info. Most guys who clearly look high in DHT - good masculine traits like lean, wide shoulders, big Adam's apple, a lot of body hair(good beard) well developed dick are bald in their 20s and they are not copper toxic. They never had high estrogen to accumulate that copper.. Vise versa child/girl like looking guys with a lot of fat around hips, ass, with gyno have good hair and they are estrogen dominant and are accumulating more copper. I think higher estrogen, ceruloplasmin= better hair for sure. So I struggle to understand where Helene came up with his ideas..
I am that second case. But now my estrogen is low and hairloss is going strong.. I am probably in menopause lol..
His theories always made sense to me, but how much of it actually worked? Probably not much. He was very good at making people believe he knew it all thats for sure.

Its funny, ive started doing drops of castor oil in my belly button, they recommend it for digestion, bloating, menstural cramps, pcos ect. It has made my face alot less puffy and im no longer anxious like i usually am, however my hair has been thinning at an alarming rate, its insane how much ground ive lost this week. Then I thought the castor oil might work by reducing estrogen and then that would explain the reaction ive had.
 

Yura

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1,351
Who knows without testing.. I am afraid to do anything as well. I mean I can just sit here and pull my hair and go bald in a day basically wtf..
 

RebelWithACause

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2,498
Those high DHT guys could also have mercury problems.

But yes I noticed men with big adams apple in general have an easier time even if they are copper or mercury toxic they don't crash or feel depressed. But they still have issues. People (in this case men) with most issues are the ones with slow or weak puberty I notice. They also have problems in life in general keeping up and living a "normal healthy" life. I'm a good example. I never feel connected to a normal life. I can't live normal. It's not in my bones I am just different. Not in an edgelord way I don't connect to normal people and how they live I can't do it. I think this has to do with me not having a good puberty. I think a lot of people like me exist though. It's nothing special. But it sucks to live a life like that.

Two of my friends have huge adams apples and I know them a long time they had a very strong puberty. Both never had any issues with any diet. Nor are they "neurotic". They are highly motivated individuals. They eat whatever because when you have a strong puberty diet will affect you long term but it won't make you unhealthy within a year. You can ride the wave of a strong puberty for a long time.

I personally have almost non existent adams apple. Makes you look androgynous and weaker. And women do like adams apples. You're always treated like a bitch subconsciously. It's fine when you are young but when you enter 30s it starts to work against you.

Probably a reason why so many guys are incel now they are underdeveloped and because of that unattractive to most women. Both my friends with strong puberty never had issues with women. They don't even understand problems I face. In the past girls I was always treated like a bitch pretty much. Even though I never acted like one subconsciously a lot of women know you are weaker when you don't have a strong puberty. They just know.

I remember a girl complaining she wanted more testosterone when she was around me back in late teens early 20s. Psychologically I think this is why I gravitated to steroids, raising testosterone, lifting heavy weights, pumping muscles, red pill, PUA. It was all to compensate for my lack of "Manliness" and to proof I was. But this is stupid because it doesn't fix anything.

Helen I think was decently healthy I said it before. This is speculation and not taking anything away from him. He was probably sick. But there's levels to it. He had accute sickness it seems from poisoning. But people here have been from birth probably.

Same for PFS. Exact same shit. Some people were in the GUTTER. The lowest of low. Couldn't even get out of bed, ended up in psych wards, hospitals. While others were still dating girls, drinking, doing crazy shit. Both were suffering and it's subjective but objectively there was huge differences.

Maybe Helen is just a different breed and he overcame all this shit. But to me it seems he started from a higher point. Very bad yes. But a higher point.

There's big differences in health. But I think even Helen didn't deny this. He covered so much ground you can't really say he ignored any of the problems. It's just that the problems are wide variety. Some guys were decent and only had to do a few things. Others had to do healing for years. That's why giving advice is hard.
 

esp90

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Messages
203
When you say weak puberty what does that mean? I was very late to get puberty, I was always ashamed when we needed to shower after PE cause i had no pubes when everyone else did, lol. And my adams apple is not very visable now that im thinking about it.
Those high DHT guys could also have mercury problems.

But yes I noticed men with big adams apple in general have an easier time even if they are copper or mercury toxic they don't crash or feel depressed. But they still have issues. People (in this case men) with most issues are the ones with slow or weak puberty I notice. They also have problems in life in general keeping up and living a "normal healthy" life. I'm a good example. I never feel connected to a normal life. I can't live normal. It's not in my bones I am just different. Not in an edgelord way I don't connect to normal people and how they live I can't do it. I think this has to do with me not having a good puberty. I think a lot of people like me exist though. It's nothing special. But it sucks to live a life like that.

Two of my friends have huge adams apples and I know them a long time they had a very strong puberty. Both never had any issues with any diet. Nor are they "neurotic". They are highly motivated individuals. They eat whatever because when you have a strong puberty diet will affect you long term but it won't make you unhealthy within a year. You can ride the wave of a strong puberty for a long time.

I personally have almost non existent adams apple. Makes you look androgynous and weaker. And women do like adams apples. You're always treated like a bitch subconsciously. It's fine when you are young but when you enter 30s it starts to work against you.

Probably a reason why so many guys are incel now they are underdeveloped and because of that unattractive to most women. Both my friends with strong puberty never had issues with women. They don't even understand problems I face. In the past girls I was always treated like a bitch pretty much. Even though I never acted like one subconsciously a lot of women know you are weaker when you don't have a strong puberty. They just know.

I remember a girl complaining she wanted more testosterone when she was around me back in late teens early 20s. Psychologically I think this is why I gravitated to steroids, raising testosterone, lifting heavy weights, pumping muscles, red pill, PUA. It was all to compensate for my lack of "Manliness" and to proof I was. But this is stupid because it doesn't fix anything.

Helen I think was decently healthy I said it before. This is speculation and not taking anything away from him. He was probably sick. But there's levels to it. He had accute sickness it seems from poisoning. But people here have been from birth probably.

Same for PFS. Exact same shit. Some people were in the GUTTER. The lowest of low. Couldn't even get out of bed, ended up in psych wards, hospitals. While others were still dating girls, drinking, doing crazy shit. Both were suffering and it's subjective but objectively there was huge differences.

Maybe Helen is just a different breed and he overcame all this shit. But to me it seems he started from a higher point. Very bad yes. But a higher point.

There's big differences in health. But I think even Helen didn't deny this. He covered so much ground you can't really say he ignored any of the problems. It's just that the problems are wide variety. Some guys were decent and only had to do a few things. Others had to do healing for years. That's why giving advice is hard.
 

Yura

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Messages
1,351
Weak puberty means you don't have high spike in testosterone from that age of 14 or so. You see boy looking as a kid chubby likes to do stuff that kids like to do no interest in girls etc and you see him again 1 year later and he is no longer chubby, more masculine, wider shoulders, some jaw/neck gains, adams apple, deeper voice, developed dick and has no interest in kids stuff all he wants to do is fuck, is more competitive with other boys etc.. That is healthy puberty... I remember 13-14 yo watching friend taking piss and I was like what the fuck. He has dick like guys in porn magazines. From that point on I knew I was fucked.. + I wondered what the fuck is with my dick. Then I realized I couldn't fully roll up foreskin from the head. I had to slowly tear it off. I don't know how long it took months maybe.. So even just that shows how my fucking parents took good care of my hygiene when I was a kid.. Interesting part was that I knew I am alone in this health thing. I never came up to my parents asking for help with anything. Even when I had painful diarrhea every night for a long time it was after I had amalgams placed. It ruined my gut and I couldn't tolerate glutene anymore, but it was all I was eating.. It was a fucking mess. I have Kallmann syndrome for sure because I don't have sense of smell from birth.. At least I don't have cleft lip or micro penis like many people with this issue have, but who knows what else is wrong with me in terms of genetics.. Maybe the fact that I took steroids in 22-23yo actually helped kick start at least some puberty. Even my adams apple got bigger when I was like 25 or even older lol
But I don't care about this stuff like dicks, sex whatever.. I am over it for a long time now.. My issues now are much more serious..
 
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esp90

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Messages
203
I never had what you describe so i guess i had weak puberty, but that cant be the only thing influencing dick size. My dick is 8 inches lmao, and im 6'4 (height is supposed to be good health indicator? Lmao not in my case). I have never felt masculine in my life. I took progesterone when i was 15-16 years old lmao, stupid naturopath gave it to me to balance my hormones, probably fucked me up for years, only good thing it probably saved my hair for years too. I suspect ive had PFS for 20 years (even though i never took fin), but i relate so much to the symptoms, not the sexual ones i guess, I have PE though.

Ok so now what, we had weak puberty, can TEI fix this or is it over for us?
 
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Aleksandr

Well-Known Member
Messages
1,285
Gbold/Helen said a lot of confusing info. Most guys who clearly look high in DHT - good masculine traits like lean, wide shoulders, big Adam's apple, a lot of body hair(good beard) well developed dick are bald in their 20s and they are not copper toxic. They never had high estrogen to accumulate that copper.. Vise versa child/girl like looking guys with a lot of fat around hips, ass, with gyno have good hair and they are estrogen dominant and are accumulating more copper. I think higher estrogen, ceruloplasmin= better hair for sure. So I struggle to understand where Helene came up with his ideas..
I am that second case. But now my estrogen is low and hairloss is going strong.. I am probably in menopause lol..
Guys who transition to women taking women hormones like estrogen regrow hair lol, I don't think estrogen causes hair loss
 

Aleksandr

Well-Known Member
Messages
1,285
In
Those high DHT guys could also have mercury problems.

But yes I noticed men with big adams apple in general have an easier time even if they are copper or mercury toxic they don't crash or feel depressed. But they still have issues. People (in this case men) with most issues are the ones with slow or weak puberty I notice. They also have problems in life in general keeping up and living a "normal healthy" life. I'm a good example. I never feel connected to a normal life. I can't live normal. It's not in my bones I am just different. Not in an edgelord way I don't connect to normal people and how they live I can't do it. I think this has to do with me not having a good puberty. I think a lot of people like me exist though. It's nothing special. But it sucks to live a life like that.

Two of my friends have huge adams apples and I know them a long time they had a very strong puberty. Both never had any issues with any diet. Nor are they "neurotic". They are highly motivated individuals. They eat whatever because when you have a strong puberty diet will affect you long term but it won't make you unhealthy within a year. You can ride the wave of a strong puberty for a long time.

I personally have almost non existent adams apple. Makes you look androgynous and weaker. And women do like adams apples. You're always treated like a bitch subconsciously. It's fine when you are young but when you enter 30s it starts to work against you.

Probably a reason why so many guys are incel now they are underdeveloped and because of that unattractive to most women. Both my friends with strong puberty never had issues with women. They don't even understand problems I face. In the past girls I was always treated like a bitch pretty much. Even though I never acted like one subconsciously a lot of women know you are weaker when you don't have a strong puberty. They just know.

I remember a girl complaining she wanted more testosterone when she was around me back in late teens early 20s. Psychologically I think this is why I gravitated to steroids, raising testosterone, lifting heavy weights, pumping muscles, red pill, PUA. It was all to compensate for my lack of "Manliness" and to proof I was. But this is stupid because it doesn't fix anything.

Helen I think was decently healthy I said it before. This is speculation and not taking anything away from him. He was probably sick. But there's levels to it. He had accute sickness it seems from poisoning. But people here have been from birth probably.

Same for PFS. Exact same shit. Some people were in the GUTTER. The lowest of low. Couldn't even get out of bed, ended up in psych wards, hospitals. While others were still dating girls, drinking, doing crazy shit. Both were suffering and it's subjective but objectively there was huge differences.

Maybe Helen is just a different breed and he overcame all this shit. But to me it seems he started from a higher point. Very bad yes. But a higher point.

There's big differences in health. But I think even Helen didn't deny this. He covered so much ground you can't really say he ignored any of the problems. It's just that the problems are wide variety. Some guys were decent and only had to do a few things. Others had to do healing for years. That's why giving advice is hard.

Interesting observations. Ive got a big Adams apple and dick, body hair, facial hair etc but not great energy.

One thing I noticed in my case, I think i was crazy high in DHT (it unregulated sebum production) and I went on accutane. I remember in year 10 I was tall, like one of the tallest and I'd do this play fighting games with these other big guys where youd try to push them over and we were evenly matched. Then I go on accutane and I stopped growing, 6"1 in year 10 and im still 6"1 in my 30s. The other dudes went on to be 6"4 and 6"5. I also started getting injuries from sport around this time.

Maybe accutane halted my growth and caused my energy issues. Still, im not as bad as a lot of people here. I also had a crap diet growing up.
 

Yura

Well-Known Member
Messages
1,351
I never had what you describe so i guess i had weak puberty, but that cant be the only thing influencing dick size. My dick is 8 inches lmao, and im 6'4 (height is supposed to be good health indicator? Lmao not in my case). I have never felt masculine in my life. I took progesterone when i was 15-16 years old lmao, stupid naturopath gave it to me to balance my hormones, probably fucked me up for years, only good thing it probably saved my hair for years too. I suspect ive had PFS for 20 years (even though i never took fin), but i relate so much to the symptoms, not the sexual ones i guess, I have PE though.

Ok so now what, we had weak puberty, can TEI fix this or is it over for us?
If you have fully developed dick obviously you had decent test/DHT levels goin on at some point.
Otherwise you would end up like this guy. He is very tall, but has probably dick like toddler and no body hair etc..
Hehe I was using progesterone cream as well on my ball sack during Ray Peat days.. It was insane period of my life. I was actively completely ruining y health..

Here is reddit post of that guy. He has kallmann syndrome as me.
THere is another video about failed puberty
 
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Yura

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Messages
1,351
Guys who transition to women taking women hormones like estrogen regrow hair lol, I don't think estrogen causes hair loss
Exactly there are things like this obvious as fuck and Helen would still say otherwise.. But I do wonder what happens with those guys taking estrogen to be "female" they have to end up with prostate cancer eventually or something..
 

RebelWithACause

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Messages
2,498
My dad was the same though with a weaker puberty. So there's a genetic factor. But he has a coke can for a dick (I saw his dick when I was in my teens after shower). So he must of had sufficient DHT levels in puberty. But he is definitely more child like and my mother controls/dominates him.

But if you have a good adams apple and developed in a man imo you're better off than most people. Means you at least had functional hormones in puberty. You can still have issues of course.

What you say Yura about boys changing into men I never had that era either. I was always stuck in a child mind. This is why I couldn't handle a lot of things in reality and I shut myself off from it with videogames and eventually started to do drugs, alcohol. And yes porn. Because eventhough I was "childish" I still wanted to have sex. But women had no interest in me especially back then.

I see a lot of people like this though. It's not uncommon. And I have to say some of the people I know who had a good puberty they don't do so well anymore now. They did well in their 20s and then fell off hard and aged quite badly. So there's a balance to be had. My dad is really young and energetic for his age for example. Most of his peers doing very bad and he's doing OK. High (natural) steroids can cause other issues and also can cause high estrogen and high growth factors. Iron toxicity. Etc. Some of them age badly especially if they are not health concious.

I think part of not going through a strong puberty is because your body can't handle the extra steroids. So in that case it's better to have a weaker puberty. Otherwise you'd probably die from a heart attack or something. Since steroids lower nitric oxide. I think the body is smart. Unless you have an extreme genetic defect.
 
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Yura

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Messages
1,351
Yeah I was exactly like you, but in my case severe hypothyroidsm played big role as well.. I think all my hormones were low not just test.. Yeah higher estrogen to DHT seems protective to some degree. It's almost like you are half female lol.. It is all about balance. Who comes to my mind with perfect balance is somebody like Clint Eastwood. That guy was a model for high DHT and at he same time here he is 95 yo going strong. It's crazy.. Anyways I really believe that balancing elements is a huge factor that most people miss even so called experts in biohacking and all this alpha male/looks maxxing community.. They know you need zinc etc.. But they have no idea how fucked up balance of elements in the body someone can have. So it can't be fixed by eating stake and eggs.. They are mostly focused on hormones, but elements come first.. Can't imagine if someone like Clint Eastwood would not smoke, drink and instead he would optimize his elements in the body. He would be immortal lol..
 

RebelWithACause

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Messages
2,498
I don't think he had perfect balance but you can tell he had high testosterone in the womb. It's not just in puberty during teens. Teens is the growth phase. It starts in the womb your setup. Huge factor I think.

I saw kids that were healthy and they already looked like little men at 10 years old. Not the adams apple and shit but the way they looked, muscle insertions, etc.

That's why I always felt like I had to catch up to those ppl. And you never reach it.
 

esp90

Well-Known Member
Messages
203
Im guessing TEI is still our best bet. Obviously my hormones have been in the issue for me. I was using porn as a crutch even before puberty at like 12 years old, got into puberty at like 15 i think, maybe that messed me up too? Anyways, TEI caused alot of receeding which points to increased androgens, my dick also grew like 0.5 inches lol (because of better bloodflow?) And my Premature Ejaculation got 70% better i read from my log, and the motivation that ive lacked during my life to change my life also came (moved out of my mothers house). And this was all from ONE cycle of TEI. I wonder what 5-10 cycles would do, maybe i will become normal. I hope to age a bit and look more my age and most importantly i hope to FEEL like my age.
I know porn can cause you to feel childish too, because the frontal lobe is shut off, s8 not sure if thats a piece of the puzzle too.
 

Aleksandr

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Messages
1,285
If you have fully developed dick obviously you had decent test/DHT levels goin on at some point.
Otherwise you would end up like this guy. He is very tall, but has probably dick like toddler and no body hair etc..
Hehe I was using progesterone cream as well on my ball sack during Ray Peat days.. It was insane period of my life. I was actively completely ruining y health..

Here is reddit post of that guy. He has kallmann syndrome as me.
THere is another video about failed puberty
I remember seeing the guy in the first video. He was tall but brittle bones, going through puberty properly as a male actually makes the growth plates close earlier (so you're shorter) and the bones stronger.
 

Aleksandr

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Messages
1,285
Yeah I was exactly like you, but in my case severe hypothyroidsm played big role as well.. I think all my hormones were low not just test.. Yeah higher estrogen to DHT seems protective to some degree. It's almost like you are half female lol.. It is all about balance. Who comes to my mind with perfect balance is somebody like Clint Eastwood. That guy was a model for high DHT and at he same time here he is 95 yo going strong. It's crazy.. Anyways I really believe that balancing elements is a huge factor that most people miss even so called experts in biohacking and all this alpha male/looks maxxing community.. They know you need zinc etc.. But they have no idea how fucked up balance of elements in the body someone can have. So it can't be fixed by eating stake and eggs.. They are mostly focused on hormones, but elements come first.. Can't imagine if someone like Clint Eastwood would not smoke, drink and instead he would optimize his elements in the body. He would be immortal lol..
I think it's probably like a hair test: the ratios are more important than absolute values, but the absolute values do matter for optimal hormone health. I.e. if you've got perfect estrogen and super low test, you'll have manboobs. Either the estrogen needs to come down or the test needs to increase for balance.