HerrFisch
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nice to hear! Im good too.
Haven't been much on forums since I was active here.
Don't even remember how I found this "new" hackstas.is. But was surprised my login still works.
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- Thread starter bruschi11
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Haven't been much on forums since I was active here.
Don't even remember how I found this "new" hackstas.is. But was surprised my login still works.
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Yea I get annoyed by that stuff.
RebelWithACause
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Are you still doing some protocol or just living life the natty way now?
I don't know I listened podcast with this Shawn Bean where he talks about how he was a bodybuilder and after the contest he ate a lot of sushi and that started all his health issues...
The reality was he was probably fucked up for a long time while doing bodybuilding and taking steroids. We all know how it fucks with mineral balance in the body etc.. His talk about dysbiosis and stuff as some kind of root cause. We all know how steroids stop bile flow. Without bile flow you can't detox and your microbiome is fucked. All in all I am not impressed by what he had to say in that podcast and his view on things. Not saying that everything he knows and says is BS I heard one podcast and I don't think I would want to work with this guy as my guru or something..
The reality was he was probably fucked up for a long time while doing bodybuilding and taking steroids. We all know how it fucks with mineral balance in the body etc.. His talk about dysbiosis and stuff as some kind of root cause. We all know how steroids stop bile flow. Without bile flow you can't detox and your microbiome is fucked. All in all I am not impressed by what he had to say in that podcast and his view on things. Not saying that everything he knows and says is BS I heard one podcast and I don't think I would want to work with this guy as my guru or something..
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Yea I know. I just say he’s at least done a few things.
He had Asperger’s from birth was always autistic and then got into bodybuilding in 20s which is a recipe for disaster.
I have a Facebook friend. I saw his Oligo. Just as bad as mine. Bodybuilding/ autistic kid who had issues before body building . Like Shawn. He took covid vaccine at age 21 or so and has been battling ever since. Severe reaction. He says he’s been improving the last 2 years but again.
Dht causes autism. There are papers on that. Raise dht, u kill ERb. There goes iron availability and b5.
Still. The “he used steroids. That’s why he’s sick. Don’t listen to him” mindset is horrible.
Steroid damage. As pfs is. Is just another mitochondrial disease like autism Parkinson’s etc ms
@bruschi11 I am the same case. Fucked up from birth. Due to lack of smell and no puberty almost it looks like "Kallmann syndrome" + toxicities from amalgams, deficiencies due to bad diet and later fucked up digestion. Really bad case of leaky gut.. Bodybuilding and steroids probably helped in some ways and fucked me up pretty badly in other ways. I think they at least somewhat kick started my puberty in like 21yo lol.. But after that they fucked me up because I had crazy high estradiol for a long time... I don't think I would have any severe issues now if I was taking proper cycles with proper estrogen control and stuff.. But the root of my issues are not from taking steroids because I know for a fact that most guys took more and for longer and worse cycles and their health was not that fucked up after that..
It is very interesting to look back and think about my life. How I was feeling and doing with my health over the years with the understanding that I have now how things work. It was just fucked up time 20-30-35 years ago. Like nobody gave a shit and nobody knew nothing about stuff like Kallmann syndrome lol. Nobody would test my hormones and stuff. All my life living with low hormones. It was like trying to live life feeling like when you didn't sleep for whole day and you are constantly walking in water to your knees. "Normal" person with average health can't even imagine. But you were not diagnosed with cancer. You looked normal so hey why you are so lazy. Just do something with your life lol.. But like I said now at least I know.. Now I know I was not just lazy shithead.. It just my genetics is simply garbage. I can live with that..
It is very interesting to look back and think about my life. How I was feeling and doing with my health over the years with the understanding that I have now how things work. It was just fucked up time 20-30-35 years ago. Like nobody gave a shit and nobody knew nothing about stuff like Kallmann syndrome lol. Nobody would test my hormones and stuff. All my life living with low hormones. It was like trying to live life feeling like when you didn't sleep for whole day and you are constantly walking in water to your knees. "Normal" person with average health can't even imagine. But you were not diagnosed with cancer. You looked normal so hey why you are so lazy. Just do something with your life lol.. But like I said now at least I know.. Now I know I was not just lazy shithead.. It just my genetics is simply garbage. I can live with that..
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The high estradiol is what happened to me when I crashed in 2020. Low T I saw for first time ever in bloodwork. Legit low like 200. Where it was always between 400 and 650 in years prior while doing poor to well.
It was a completely new illness. Low T , high E2.
And the funny part about it. What I did was all estrogen receptors stuff that cured me that next fall. I did it without ever thinking about estrogen. I was just all fucked up in the brain thinking about mineral balancing and Yasko methylation stuff. Gbold actually said try chromium after I had good response to vanadium.
Basically I’m saying chromium vanadium lithium cobalt biggest 3 things for estrogen reception.
You should just try running freddds protocol. It’s all pro estrogen reception + TRT if you need that part.
@bruschi11 I will not improve my situation by injecting stuff.. It would only make me stressed more and make things worse.. I have to change my living situation first. So I don't live in stress mode 24/7. I have to create artificial environment for myself without people that trigger stress/PTSD which are basically all people I know. That's how bad my situation is.. So I have to move somewhere. At least now I have money to just rent some place somewhere for like 6 months and just do nothing. Just relax and focus on myself. Easy to say, but hard to do when you are 40yo mans child basically who was always under control of his parents and toxic sister and who never moved out anywhere apart from that 3 month working trip to Croatia and I felt great there. My bile flow worked great everything. That showed me what are my real issues.. Like when I was on my own I felt like I grow as a person rapidly and once I go back to my room into the apartment where I lived my whole life I feel like I instantly transfrom to the child I was before again and I am stuck again here LOL.. I just don't know where to go right now hehe. probably just rent apartment in different city would be the easiest option and ideally find a job in that area and just start new life without all those people and places that trigger stress for me.. Basically I am in situation many people are they just moved out in their 20s.. But I couldn't I was fucked up mentally and physically at that time. It was the time where my grandparents were sick one by one and my family basically forced me to stay home and take care of them. Next thing you know you are 30 - 40yo completely fucked and parents are happy basically., They have someone that can take care of them if they can't go shopping or whatever. It is sad that it took me so long to realize all this. But You don't see it when you live it and you blind yourself with all kinds of copes to just survival that shit life you are in instead of just rope.. Only recently once I stopped all copes mostly hard exercise and games and betting and whatever I started see more clearly what is really going on. Those invisible tentacles that hold me stuck on the spot in my shit... So now I was working and not spending on dumb shit. So II make some money so I have some options. Now I have like 8000 euros. So I have to do with it something asap..
It is hard to explain all that to someone who grow up and developed normally as a person without all that fucked up stuff like those health issues you could fix or even explain. Fucked up people around me who completely stopped your development didn't tech you anything just ruined you future and created all those traumas and stuff.. It is so much complex than just I will take this and that and I am fixed. Heh I wish it was that simple.
So that's my situation. More outside stuff that influences negatively my physiology.. Otherwise I trust my body even with my garbage genetics that it will do great to balance itself once something is not triggering stress all the time..
I wish I had someone like Gabor Mate in my life. Just listen some of his videos about trauma and stuff. If you don't understand this part of life. Biochemistry alone is useless.. We are not robots. It is all so complex and connected.. I think this forum never did a good job in this. It was all biochemistry, but all that non materialistic emotional stuff changes the physiology the same way as taking some finasteride or whatever.
It is hard to explain all that to someone who grow up and developed normally as a person without all that fucked up stuff like those health issues you could fix or even explain. Fucked up people around me who completely stopped your development didn't tech you anything just ruined you future and created all those traumas and stuff.. It is so much complex than just I will take this and that and I am fixed. Heh I wish it was that simple.
So that's my situation. More outside stuff that influences negatively my physiology.. Otherwise I trust my body even with my garbage genetics that it will do great to balance itself once something is not triggering stress all the time..
I wish I had someone like Gabor Mate in my life. Just listen some of his videos about trauma and stuff. If you don't understand this part of life. Biochemistry alone is useless.. We are not robots. It is all so complex and connected.. I think this forum never did a good job in this. It was all biochemistry, but all that non materialistic emotional stuff changes the physiology the same way as taking some finasteride or whatever.
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RebelWithACause
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Those fucked up people around you have the same problems you do brother. Of course if you are born into this environment then those people will teach you all types of stuff on how they cope with their own problems and you take that over as well on top of having the same health issues.
But yea your story resonates with mine except now I have reached a level of where these things do not affect me as much at all. People can't really traumatise me anymore for example. But I was very traumatised, scared and avoidant of everything that has to do with real life. But if I got better so can you. 100%. I'm not doing amazing like some people who are born healthy. But man it's a lot easier living like this than in constant shit like I did before. I used to also be controlled by my parents but as I got healthier it is easier to put boundaries and they don't do it anymore. People do it because they subconciously feel like you need help or you act childish they want to help you. But it sucks as an adult because you want to make your own choices to an extent.
Some start at level -1000 in the darkest pits of hell and others start at +1000 doing great their whole life despite not caring a minute about their health, attitudes, etc. This is why you also can sometimes not understand each other and those people who were born healthy might look at a guy who is sick and not understand it or the problems they face. Or vice versa as a sick guy you don't understand how ignorant some mf-ers are to their health and other stuff. It's because they didn't have to care.
@RebelWithACause dude we were talking about this. Your parents don't effect you because you had the privilege to live alone lol. Of course nobody from my family would effect me if I was living on my own and I could just simply avoid them by not picking the phone. But living with them in small apartment "little" different story bro LOL.
Btw no my parents don't want to help me. Unfortunately they are simple people who didn't know how to rise a child. They just want me around and one of the biggest reasons which I realized somewhat recently is because they don't have the best relationship. So they use me as some kind of buffer between them. On top of that crazy and toxic sister living in the same apartment building with her family..
Like I wish you could experience that for at least like 10 days haha. So you could just write to me "Bro LOL now I get it."
But yeah finally I have some options when I have money. Hopefully I will find something ASAP and start to live normal 40yo adult heh..
Btw no my parents don't want to help me. Unfortunately they are simple people who didn't know how to rise a child. They just want me around and one of the biggest reasons which I realized somewhat recently is because they don't have the best relationship. So they use me as some kind of buffer between them. On top of that crazy and toxic sister living in the same apartment building with her family..
Like I wish you could experience that for at least like 10 days haha. So you could just write to me "Bro LOL now I get it."
But yeah finally I have some options when I have money. Hopefully I will find something ASAP and start to live normal 40yo adult heh..
HerrFisch
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@RebelWithACause
yes kind of, I made a quick update post in my log.
Don't think I will ever stop completely, way to paranoid to fall back into that state.
*(its not letting me post for days aah) //finally
yes kind of, I made a quick update post in my log.
Don't think I will ever stop completely, way to paranoid to fall back into that state.
*(its not letting me post for days aah) //finally
RebelWithACause
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No doubt your situation is crap. I do recognise a lot in what you say though whether mine was easier or not. My parents were very like holding on to me refusing to let me grow up. Same for some other family members. It can be draining and toxic, it's a bad feeling. Same for people at work treating me badly or like a child. Now not so much. Not saying I am 100% great like superman. I still have problems but it's not like 24/7 survival mode because everything is utterly fucked in my life. A good example was a manager he constantly stepped over my boundaries. He called me like 12 times a day asking me what I was doing, etc. Almost stalker-ish and he felt justified doing it. It was like he was acting like my overbearing parents. The same dynamic, same pattern. So these things they are sometimes patterns you will break when health gets better.
Then I looked after a while at the manager and also saw he was hurt and bad health. So, often people with bad health they attracted to other people with bad health and there can be a toxic dynamic develop there. I also notice bullies often have problems especially if they bully really weak/sick people they have massive health problems themselves taking out their crap on people who can't fight back.
I also saw my parents have exactly my problems. But they did not have the luxury to find out their problems and fix them. So I give them a break and my parents they do have a good heart. They are just health wise very bad and it can cause toxic dynamics, behaviours, etc.
Probably a reason why a lot of people they "marry" their mother, as in they marry someone who depicts that same dynamic and pattern. Stuff like that all comes from inability to overcome the patterns ingrained from childhood. When metabolism is good and stay good you get rid of toxic crap you learned and you move on from those patterns and you become more free and more able to decide your own path who you are. Maybe moving out is for you the big step of that too.
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RebelWithACause
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He does make things too simple Chris Masterjohn. Don't forget he had/has health issues himself. Which is a common theme in the health world and makes sense because sick people look for answers and get into it more deep than someone who is healthy.
What I dislike though is that a lot of these guys never cure themselves. They are stuck on a stilt. Whether it is diet or a personalized supplement regime. And then they get dogmatic about it because it helped them and they can't figure out another way. They retroactively justify their choices. Which is a massive blindspot. You see it with almost all "guru's". The sad thing is in my opinion it is a lack of self reflection, insight and critical thinking (objectivity).
I look at my friend in real life man he is insanely healthy. Doesn't use stilts. Gets through everything. Body is very resilient. That is how I want to be. It is weird I am friends with normal healthy guys and not other unhealthy people. This made me realise how a normal healthy person functions. I often see people who are sick they are around others who are sick. Or autistic people hanging with each other. They don't have a reference point and look at someone like Chris as if he is healthy. Far from it.
Anyways not trying to dunk on these guys. They mean well most of them. Just not my cup of tea and these guys I think do sell stuff, earn money from people. Which in my opinion does make it more of a scummy practice even if they mean well.
@RebelWithACause At what point of your health issues journey you started living on your own?
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Body is oxygen hydrogen nitrogen carbon not much else. Like it’s 2% the rest. A lot of people get so sick they’re fighting gravity literally. A true mitochondrial disease is when the balance of those things go wrong.
Masterjohn was probably developing a Parkinson’s ms type illness and it got bad. He has a tremor I’ve heard still. He’s not this ripped guy at all. Hes not a guru. He’s a nerd on taking the right supplements diet based on how he sees his needs for energy Metabolsim.
He’s smart. I just don’t know if he sees intention. Or what reallllly matters. And seperates the chronically ill from athletes ya know.
What seperates the chronically ill from the chronically well? That is the question here yours truly bruschi11@ truly wants answered. I do think oligoscan helps prove that point.
@bruschi11 "A lot of people get so sick they’re fighting gravity literally."
Yeah that is exactly how I would explain how it felt and still how it feels when my estradiol dropped and all that free copper ruined my body with oxidative stress. You literally feel that your body is having hard time to keep tissues together. To pump blood around the body back to your heart from your legs. Even when I was lying down in my bed. I felt like my eyes have hard time stay in place and to not sink to back of my head lol. I think that is how 100yo people feel. I aged half a century in matter of weeks. Just insane. I recovered like 20% so I can function somewhat function but I know many 70yo are in much better shape than I am. It is just pathetic lol.. But that tissue is simply gone. All that collagen will never go back.
In perfect world if I had a lot of money. So no stress just travel and do the best treatments that are available like stem cells, all kinds of peptideas, HG etc.. I think I could regain some tissue back. But in my reality. It is not happening that's for sure..
Yeah that is exactly how I would explain how it felt and still how it feels when my estradiol dropped and all that free copper ruined my body with oxidative stress. You literally feel that your body is having hard time to keep tissues together. To pump blood around the body back to your heart from your legs. Even when I was lying down in my bed. I felt like my eyes have hard time stay in place and to not sink to back of my head lol. I think that is how 100yo people feel. I aged half a century in matter of weeks. Just insane. I recovered like 20% so I can function somewhat function but I know many 70yo are in much better shape than I am. It is just pathetic lol.. But that tissue is simply gone. All that collagen will never go back.
In perfect world if I had a lot of money. So no stress just travel and do the best treatments that are available like stem cells, all kinds of peptideas, HG etc.. I think I could regain some tissue back. But in my reality. It is not happening that's for sure..
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RebelWithACause
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I lived alone already before I got sick. My parents pretty much kicked me out at 19/20 to live on my own. So I lived on my own with normal health (probably already sick but not dysfunctional) from like 20-22 maybe. But my parents were like yours kinda very overbearing, codependent, sick, bad habits, etc. but for some reason moving out was something that is normal here. You just kick your children out at around 18-22 and that's it. Most of my friends lived by themselves at 18-21.
Even after I moved out I felt like not my own man. I had the same problems as before. So for me it wasn't some sort of rite of passage. Or becoming an adult I never became one pretty much. I also did MMA for a good amount of time. Nothing changes you really. I was still the same person as before. That's my experience. Not trying to discourage just read under this there is good in moving out as well and stuff. People always say you need rite of passages and it makes you stronger and stuff. A lot of it is already genetically predisposed and depends how sick you are.
For example one of my friends didn't do anything hard or any rite of passage in his life and he landed on his feet and he was more of a man than me. Just because he had better hormones when he was younger. And probably less metal toxicity, etc.
Anyways eventually I started getting insane panic attacks this was the start of PFS this was the first place I lived at.
Then got into a confrontation with a roommate her boyfriend who used cocaine and alcohol everyday. He threatened me that he would shoot me so I decided to move out ASAP just to get away from this situation. I was scared the guy was some crazy drug guy criminal. Plus I started to have PFS I was not doing good.
My best friend asked if I wanted to live in his apartment with him and I moved there.
From there on I was insanely sick but I didn't quit finasteride immediately. Eventually I did and I felt dead pretty much. I stopped all social contacts, isolated. Then he wanted to kick me out as well because I was not able to talk really. No conversational ability and I was aggressive and not social. I had severe problems oxidative stress, etc. probably. Not an easy person to be around. I had fatigue 24/7. Body was shut off. I was in survival mode.
So after he said to me he wanted me to move out which was a year later. I went to a different place I found a small room with 2 roommates who were quiet and didn't ask me to be social. This was the start where I started to do research on my condition. I lived there for a long time actually. Probably like 6-7 years. I liked it there.
My "best friend" he made me more stressed just like you have with your parents. He was disrespectful often too just straight up. But I was probably also not the nicest or most social. I felt a lot more restful though once I got away from him. He stressed me out he was always nosing around and maybe he tried to help but he was constantly overstepping boundaries and stuff. Just weird shit. I found it hard to forgive him but I still talk to him. We definitely not as good of friends anymore. So you know what you say about your parents I can understand it. I forgot about how bad his effect was on me at this time.
So that last place was good it was also close to nature. It had forests close by. So I started to also walk daily sometimes twice a day in those forests. I think it was a good place. Sometimes I still miss it even though it was small. I was left alone. Sometimes it was a bit isolating though. I now have more of a social life. Not much better but baseline is better. I talk to more people I don't have that "bewildered" feeling anymore like you are a wild animal trying to survive. That happened after a few days of isolation. But I could handle isolation very well. Never was depressed but I do think it raises cortisol/stress a bit.
So I guess you are right when you are really sick you need a restful place. At least it's much better than stressful environment.
It's funny it was the hardest time of my life but I still have good memories from it. Just that place. Being left alone. I felt free. Now I am better and you get like back to a normal life. Which is what I wanted. People couldn't get anything from me IRL I was like free. Because I was sick. But the body was not free. The body was bottlenecking me. But otherwise I was free. Also because I couldn't participate in "society" like my peers did anyways. So I just chose to live the way I could.
TLDR; I lived alone from age 20 or so. Moved after having problems in first place. Then got PFS moved in with best friend. Then got problems there. Then moved to a quiet room and it was beneficial. Lived there probably from 23-24 to 32. So not that long ago I had to move. They wanted to restore the whole place.
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