-Bro I kind of did the same thing (from dif hospital types/-- also flights, weddings, etc)... And not really celebration of me... somewhat/ but mostly others' stuff.
-Anyways, the point is: Yeah, a year ago or 9-11-15mo ago also: had dinner or lunch with family, even 17mo ago, and it was BAD. But the times were good (sometimes a bit).
-It's all super in the realm of possibility and it's even likely to greatly improve. Follow Helen's protocol (soon working w/ you.). - sx = symptom.***Your only focus = your health***.
-Being sick isn't pathetic. Being too hard on oneself is destructive, i.e. me like 6y and 12y-16y*** onwards forever - it's not healthy man. keep at it and don't think of every sx.
-Your brother wants you to be happy, so do your parents... they want you to be healthy -- they just don't know what to do... but there's good advice here on H/S.
-Focus only on "the move" each day as much of a routine as you can, whether 20mins, an hour, later 2hrs, 4hrs, 8hrs... whatever your normal was *can be again, and better*.
-Meditation and Journal and if you're doing so here on your journal, then I respect that bc, I've done that on paper, in my head, digitally for like 12 yrs ---it's therapeutic.