rthotics, other braces, taping all that helps.
MNK99 — Yesterday at 9:10 PM
--way easier w brace. to focus also. only "dumb" on weed bc of confusion and spinal reasons lower neck instability. smart and fine on coke and dex, but maybe a bit erratic on dex... but ya of c anxiety, and agitation respectively with those 2 substances. Brace helps a lot. Should have used at 21. If not 18 or 5-10 for correcting spine. son of a whore. logged the rest/. It is here, just random stuff on hEDS and ADHD, et al.
MNK's Log. PSSD Recov 12-18mo 10', 11m-16mo 18'. Treating hEDS/ADHD, Trauma, via HRT+/dex, Crnv, Ketmn. TEI? --cocaine, mdma, and or meth, and some psychadelics.. and some test.. and bracing. and carnivore. or just coke and carnivore would have helped me as a little kid but whatever it's fine. anyways life is too confusing to make sense all the time. I actually made perfect sense here but it was way too detailed, delineating differential diagnosis of movement disorders (neurology) and also connective tissue disorders (clinical evaluation from a geneticist specializing in conn tissue disorders). And I delineated the neuro, pots, mcas, dysauto symptoms I had as a kid, most severe in iatrogenic illness, and randomly bad with a vax, and also randomly there with injuries or moving body position. I am sure shooting arm pain is normal. And I'm sure I mostly have lower neck instability and I don't have the CCI (cranio cervical instability). Note get mri for brain perhaps wanted one 16 yrs ago, and get heart checked... wanted to several yrs ago and many yrs ago. get specialist.. get therapist.. goddamnit. fine. im trying pain in the ass. prolly lose 200k the day i get a specialist or 500k by that time but nah ill master this bs and never waste opps on hoes and in life progression, skill acquisition, CV tuning. My cv basically says fk you pay me. so i gotta fix some shyt.
MNK99 — Yesterday at 9:49 PM
--smoked like 2oz of weed since bday... and before it. had some 600usd and 3000 cad trades. and am getting 85-90 on logical reasoning of lsat... without studying 3-4yrs.
--but with no back brace, ya id be lying down even more... and i dont know trying to stand or lie down, wouldn't be able to sit at desk, stand.. go outside, talk to ppl much at least 6-8hrs a day. not being able to position self correctly in walking or bending down...orlike turning head. i used to nod, after i used to smirk, after i used to smile. couldn't even nod for 6mo-1yr or something. bc it was hurting and i thought more injury would cause more disability. anyways i gotta run. Yeah I hate standing still / sitting still and never did... bc of ADHD but also, bc I physically can't.
MNK99 — Yesterday at 10:11 PM
--cant show emotions bc of masking - autism. cant deal w rejctions bc rejn sensitivity dysphoria due to ADHD and autism. eccentric, sometimes agitated bc of ADHD, and then more so bc of dex... it ruins fun and only has negative emotions. so need weed. and can't moveproperly and meds kill me bc of hEDS. anyways whatever im fine w it. can't relate to ppl bc of autism. so need some drugs to relate to ppl.. and for mood and stability. and initially it was to relax, then to focus.. but to focus and relax, and save energy. i guess im a spoonie. spoon theory and all that. anyways over. maybe some traits of several disorders, but a lot is physical reasons. neuro for the ADHD, and spinal and ligamentology and other stuff I don't know about. anx disorder was dysauto actually.
-=idk tho i made best frds for life.. in like nites up all nite and most gf's i met and banged same nite. so i can get deep emotional connections and stuff but it is hard... ill give more ppl a chance. anyways fk this all. market crashing and shyt. ill go workout. i need to fix brace. i guess just confidence and lower inhibitions but not to pt of me getting injured/ hurt, being in a bad place... so ill brace in public also more.
Fine w/ a lot of it, the rest I'm fixing. Ill fix any insecurity also... ill get some plastic surgery. and ill stay peaked on androgens. ill pin back my ears and get rid of most loose skin remaining, if it is safe. and ill regrow my hair, eyelashes, and eyebrows, and i will make my skin perfect again. anyways i wont go crazy about all of this.
MNK99 — Yesterday at 10:38 PM
it's the ppl with connective tissue disorders that had adam's apple and jaw bone shrinkage and shyt (i had some of that, i mean, adams apple smaller, jaw not bad, 4 eye effects 2.5-3 reversed with strong efforts). one remaining in eye, is collagen / defective collagen. basically i can contort face for crows feet but it was way way worse in 2017. pretty good in 2018 june or so and beyond maybe even march but weaker then, had lots to improve then still. the rest is eds stuff. Slayo suffered a lot bc of Marfans and the shyt it causes, and sure dutasteride is bad. But for ppl that think that they had it the harshest? did u reteach urself how to shave and walk like 5-6x in life? maybe more. maybe a lot more. Other chronic conditions also they had worse effects. But minerals aren't fixing your spine so easily nor hypermobile blood vessels.
--you need d, prolly d/k is good, b12, and mg for heds/ hypermobile conn tissue disorders. acc to the dysotonaumia conference guy. a neurologist or something. v smart. mag for 14 yrs or so was stomach.dign issues... and neck and other instability, random pain. ill take aspirin easier fk it 4-5x a week.