Fefi's log
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merebalacy
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Yeah, I agree some of it is mental, but shit, I’ve lost height too, lost shoe size as well :/. Shit isn’t looking too good for me.
Phosphorus was high on my bloods when I was losing bone, high CRP throughout all of this too. Hmm, maybe I should get more bloods.
merebalacy
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Shit I don’t know if I’m going crazy or what, but during the night time I get really sad and suicidal. It just doesn’t seem to end. I am tolerating stuff better but I am still upset about stunting my puberty and everything. I don’t want to go through all of this just to be my 19 year old self. I’m such a dumbass :/.
RebelWithACause
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How old are you now? If you are under 25 you still develop until that age pretty much. Just eat good food like meat, dairy (not if you have very slow metabolism), vegetables, etc. Clean diet but good calories. Or go on TEI if you aren't already for like 2-3 cycles to stabilise and then after that you can try your own stuff. Haven't read all of your log so if you already did some of this then ignore it.
If you feel better on 5ari could be you have lower metabolism. I used to feel better too with 5ari when my metabolism was low. It lowers GABA hormones which slow you down and retain calcium. So then 5ari can be beneficial temporarily
BTW I had a weak puberty as well. It's not a huge issue IMO. I look younger than most of my peers and the people who had a strong puberty a lot of them look much worse than me now. So it has benefits. But yes can be harder if you want to be attractive to women as most women do like men who had strong puberties. But in long run it's not bad.
merebalacy
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I did have a strong puberty though, I was very androgenic, hypersexual etc. I just had a late puberty. My body is similar to my early teenage body, it’s messed up. Also lost most of my hair because of this crash. Fucked up badly. My crash was similar to Slayo’s and Helen’s with their gum issues and stuff.
I am making progress, compared to March I am infinitely better. I don’t really want to go on TEI as it has too many variables, and may not be the best option for me.
(I am 20)I still have 4 years to make up for this fuck up, my shoulders have widened again, somewhat, so it looks like my body can heal itself.
merebalacy
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Today is the first day in 5 months that I didn’t have to take a binder…
Feeling good these days, still fucked physically though
Feeling good these days, still fucked physically though
merebalacy
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Protocol now;
Silica
Kelp
Royal jelly
Maca pulsed x1 a week
Magnesium citrate
Vitamin C
Candex x2 a day
Beetroot juice
Silica
Kelp
Royal jelly
Maca pulsed x1 a week
Magnesium citrate
Vitamin C
Candex x2 a day
Beetroot juice
Sorry but this stack is kinda trash, beetroot juice you're just unnecessarily overloading yourself with tons of oxalate and vit c increases oxalate formation. If you want beatine then just take tmg or beatine hcl.
merebalacy
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30%
merebalacy
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Whenever I think I am doing good, Fazed comes in and humbles me lol.
Yeah my idea was taking Beetroot juice for NO, as I had so much oxidative stress I couldn't even feel my feet.
Vitamin C for collagen production and for my gums
I have hopped off supps for my OAT; I find myself doing much better off supplements.
merebalacy
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Thoughts on coffee? On days where I feel kind of numb, it helps boost my mood quite a lot. Only problem is - is that it’s too stimulating and leads to a lot of sweating, nausea and dizziness.
I like coffee, maybe it's not ideal but does do some good stuff like protecting against iron, raising metabolism, neuroprotective, lowering NO. Nausea, dizziness and overstimulation from coffee most likely means you're copper toxic.. If you're in a low electrolyte state I wouldn't recommend coffee.
merebalacy
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Copper toxic, interesting, my hair tests, oligoscans do not show anything wrong with copper BUT, I've had low ceruloplasmin in the one test I've done ~6 months ago
merebalacy
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In the PFS, NADPH is not necessarily high, it can be low.
NADPH is what finasteride uses. To block 5AR, it binds NADPH and NADPH is essentially blocked (although this is not the same as blocking the receptor, for example).
Now there are 2 ways, either it will be bound and not working, or it will be elevated.
What you write looks like low NADPH, if we talk about it. NADPH does not recycle glutathione, and glutathione does not recycle vitamin C and you get a viral load. Vitamin C is also needed for BH4, which balances NO. In this case, there will be a lot of iNOS and little eNOS / nNOS. iNOS is needed by bacteria, fungi, it destroys them with superoxide. You have a large load of infections, it will grow for this reason.
You are panicking because of low GABA and probably low allo. Panic attack is adrenaline and when GABA is low, it does not slow it down, it results in panic. And adrenaline increases from histamine or serotonin in your case, since it happens from food. Perhaps histamine increases on acid or serotonin for motor skills. Since you are writing about POTS, I think it is histamine. Histamine apparently activates adrenaline, hence the tachycardia and panic attack. Adrenaline increases to reduce histamine and if there is also a problem with methylation (low), then there will be a lot of histamine - HNMT is reduced
If cortisol suppresses your immune system so much, NADPH oxidase is probably low and it all sounds as if ROS is just not enough. Oxidase makes ROS to kill pathogens. Your feeling of high ROS may be caused by low glutathione and its inability to remove it. And low glutathione is due to low NADPH.
Or the second option, Oxidase is overloaded to fight infection and for this it uses NADPH as a cofactor, so NADPH decreases and there is no recycling of glutathione and vitamin C.
Now you block 5ar and you are better, because more NADPH remains for other things. But you increase AR expression apparently, and high AR will inhibit 5ar and there will be no allopregnenolone and GABA.
I also believe that since glutathione is low, methylation will be closed, the body will direct homocysteine to cysteine, and not methionine and s-ame. You said you have some tests, send me a look.
I have no idea what bacteria, fungi or viruses you have in your body. But you need to consider the option of maintaining glutathione and vitamin C and see how you react.
If you can take vitamins, minerals, etc. Then try to start taking selenium, vitamin C (liposomal), vitamin E, cysteine, B vitamins, some kind of low-dose complex. Perhaps add thiamine separately for pentose phosphate and NADPH. But be careful, it will increase 5AP and the symptoms may be worse on it. It is not yet clear about copper and zinc. They are needed for SOD and MT, but to activate them, you need to activate the entire zinc finger. If zinc starts working, it will suppress 5AP and it is not clear how this will work in the long term, whether it will regulate AR in you or not, it is different for everyone.
For infections, you can try LDN, it should suppress infections. There is another point here, that if NADPH is low, the kynurenine pathway will dominate. This means that there will be no serotonin, and serotonin increases immunity and also suppresses infections. You just have all 3 types according to the story, it is strange, this is usually when the redox in the cell is knocked down.
Well, try to buy bifidobacteria in the form of suppositories. Inject and see what happens, it should remove histamine and remove your POTS/panic.
These are my thoughts, you already look there.
I wonder, were you tested for any toxins before the PFS? For example, toxoplasmosis or c. difficle? I am starting to think that some people have these infections or similar ones before they get into the PFS, but these are just thoughts for now.
NADPH is what finasteride uses. To block 5AR, it binds NADPH and NADPH is essentially blocked (although this is not the same as blocking the receptor, for example).
Now there are 2 ways, either it will be bound and not working, or it will be elevated.
What you write looks like low NADPH, if we talk about it. NADPH does not recycle glutathione, and glutathione does not recycle vitamin C and you get a viral load. Vitamin C is also needed for BH4, which balances NO. In this case, there will be a lot of iNOS and little eNOS / nNOS. iNOS is needed by bacteria, fungi, it destroys them with superoxide. You have a large load of infections, it will grow for this reason.
You are panicking because of low GABA and probably low allo. Panic attack is adrenaline and when GABA is low, it does not slow it down, it results in panic. And adrenaline increases from histamine or serotonin in your case, since it happens from food. Perhaps histamine increases on acid or serotonin for motor skills. Since you are writing about POTS, I think it is histamine. Histamine apparently activates adrenaline, hence the tachycardia and panic attack. Adrenaline increases to reduce histamine and if there is also a problem with methylation (low), then there will be a lot of histamine - HNMT is reduced
If cortisol suppresses your immune system so much, NADPH oxidase is probably low and it all sounds as if ROS is just not enough. Oxidase makes ROS to kill pathogens. Your feeling of high ROS may be caused by low glutathione and its inability to remove it. And low glutathione is due to low NADPH.
Or the second option, Oxidase is overloaded to fight infection and for this it uses NADPH as a cofactor, so NADPH decreases and there is no recycling of glutathione and vitamin C.
Now you block 5ar and you are better, because more NADPH remains for other things. But you increase AR expression apparently, and high AR will inhibit 5ar and there will be no allopregnenolone and GABA.
I also believe that since glutathione is low, methylation will be closed, the body will direct homocysteine to cysteine, and not methionine and s-ame. You said you have some tests, send me a look.
I have no idea what bacteria, fungi or viruses you have in your body. But you need to consider the option of maintaining glutathione and vitamin C and see how you react.
If you can take vitamins, minerals, etc. Then try to start taking selenium, vitamin C (liposomal), vitamin E, cysteine, B vitamins, some kind of low-dose complex. Perhaps add thiamine separately for pentose phosphate and NADPH. But be careful, it will increase 5AP and the symptoms may be worse on it. It is not yet clear about copper and zinc. They are needed for SOD and MT, but to activate them, you need to activate the entire zinc finger. If zinc starts working, it will suppress 5AP and it is not clear how this will work in the long term, whether it will regulate AR in you or not, it is different for everyone.
For infections, you can try LDN, it should suppress infections. There is another point here, that if NADPH is low, the kynurenine pathway will dominate. This means that there will be no serotonin, and serotonin increases immunity and also suppresses infections. You just have all 3 types according to the story, it is strange, this is usually when the redox in the cell is knocked down.
Well, try to buy bifidobacteria in the form of suppositories. Inject and see what happens, it should remove histamine and remove your POTS/panic.
These are my thoughts, you already look there.
I wonder, were you tested for any toxins before the PFS? For example, toxoplasmosis or c. difficle? I am starting to think that some people have these infections or similar ones before they get into the PFS, but these are just thoughts for now.
merebalacy
Well-Known Member
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UGT (UDP) is glucuronidation, essentially your body does not metabolize hormones normally. Most likely you have high DHT/Estrogen. This is called Gilbert's Syndrome.
Finasteride closes 3a-diol in many, this is what metabolizes your DHT. This closes 5 alpha reductase and then there are no neurosteroids.
You have low NADPH, since it all goes to maintaining detoxification pathways, to glutathione, to the immune system, to mitochondria. Hence, your Krebs cycle is closed. The Krebs cycle most likely does not make NADH, but produces NADPH and slows down, this closes the stages in it - ketoglutarate, isocitrate, malate (possibly one, possibly several). Oxalates are removed by citrate (a stage in the Krebs cycle). Therefore, you have symptoms of CFS and the accumulation of oxalates.
NAC is all spent on glutathione, it is greatly depleted, most likely there is very little cysteine too. You can also add NAC, but NAC bypasses regulation, it is better when the body uses all the pathways itself. But you say that sulfur is bad for you, perhaps because there is no thiamine, sulfur is a B1 antagonist.
When you drink probiotics, you do it through the mouth, you pass them through the small intestine, you can't do this, especially if you have SIBO. And you most likely have SIBO because you have problems with bile because of Gilbert. Bile is what kills SIBO. Hence the growth of pathogens in the intestine, imbalance, hence the fungi crawl, all this puts pressure on glutathione and there is no vitamin C, viruses come. Hence the deficiency of B12 may be because SIBO will shut down its synthesis by bacteria.
Probiotics need to be administered rectally, I wrote to you, buy suppositories and try them. Don't buy lacto, lacto produces histamine, you don't need it extra now. Just buy bifidobacteria and try, if this also causes panic, just take B2, the panic should pass.
You need to support glutathione (I described it to you above), manganese should probably be added to minerals. Support glucoronation, for example, calcium D glucorate. And remove bacterial and fungal load in your case c. difficle, SIBO, etc.
For vitamin C and oxalates, add magnesium citrate.
Perhaps your gastrointestinal tract does not digest anything and you need bile acids and acid, so think about HCL and bile.
Approximately what can be done:
1. You can simplify and give a complex of minerals and vitamin B. But I have no idea how you react to copper, iron, zinc, etc.
Add manganese and thiamine separately, because manganese starts B1, and thiamine will make NADPH for you. Perhaps it is worth considering niacin (for IDO / TDO) and riboflavin (for FAD). You do not need to give up carbohydrates, sugar is needed for pentose phosphate.
2. Support glucuronidation - calcium D glucorate.
3. Give betaine HCL and bile acids (TUDCA, for example).
4. Bacteria, fungi - here you determine them yourself, because antibiotics may be needed. If the bacteria have a strong biofilm, you will need things that will push the antibiotic inside. Nattokinase, lactoferrin, etc. Probiotics after antibiotics should be administered via enemas/suppositories, not via the small intestine.
5. It might be worth trying Epsom salts/sodium thiosulfate. This will remove sulfites, if there are problems with them. And also, if there is metal toxicity - chelators
6. Magnesium citrate and malic acid, for the malate and isocitrate stages in the Krebs cycle. Malic acid should also support the liver a little.
Judging by what you write, I think the main problems here are in 2 things. Gilbert's syndrome + infectious load.
If you try, then do everything carefully, with low doses, checking the reaction and slowly increase to normal
Finasteride closes 3a-diol in many, this is what metabolizes your DHT. This closes 5 alpha reductase and then there are no neurosteroids.
You have low NADPH, since it all goes to maintaining detoxification pathways, to glutathione, to the immune system, to mitochondria. Hence, your Krebs cycle is closed. The Krebs cycle most likely does not make NADH, but produces NADPH and slows down, this closes the stages in it - ketoglutarate, isocitrate, malate (possibly one, possibly several). Oxalates are removed by citrate (a stage in the Krebs cycle). Therefore, you have symptoms of CFS and the accumulation of oxalates.
NAC is all spent on glutathione, it is greatly depleted, most likely there is very little cysteine too. You can also add NAC, but NAC bypasses regulation, it is better when the body uses all the pathways itself. But you say that sulfur is bad for you, perhaps because there is no thiamine, sulfur is a B1 antagonist.
When you drink probiotics, you do it through the mouth, you pass them through the small intestine, you can't do this, especially if you have SIBO. And you most likely have SIBO because you have problems with bile because of Gilbert. Bile is what kills SIBO. Hence the growth of pathogens in the intestine, imbalance, hence the fungi crawl, all this puts pressure on glutathione and there is no vitamin C, viruses come. Hence the deficiency of B12 may be because SIBO will shut down its synthesis by bacteria.
Probiotics need to be administered rectally, I wrote to you, buy suppositories and try them. Don't buy lacto, lacto produces histamine, you don't need it extra now. Just buy bifidobacteria and try, if this also causes panic, just take B2, the panic should pass.
You need to support glutathione (I described it to you above), manganese should probably be added to minerals. Support glucoronation, for example, calcium D glucorate. And remove bacterial and fungal load in your case c. difficle, SIBO, etc.
For vitamin C and oxalates, add magnesium citrate.
Perhaps your gastrointestinal tract does not digest anything and you need bile acids and acid, so think about HCL and bile.
Approximately what can be done:
1. You can simplify and give a complex of minerals and vitamin B. But I have no idea how you react to copper, iron, zinc, etc.
Add manganese and thiamine separately, because manganese starts B1, and thiamine will make NADPH for you. Perhaps it is worth considering niacin (for IDO / TDO) and riboflavin (for FAD). You do not need to give up carbohydrates, sugar is needed for pentose phosphate.
2. Support glucuronidation - calcium D glucorate.
3. Give betaine HCL and bile acids (TUDCA, for example).
4. Bacteria, fungi - here you determine them yourself, because antibiotics may be needed. If the bacteria have a strong biofilm, you will need things that will push the antibiotic inside. Nattokinase, lactoferrin, etc. Probiotics after antibiotics should be administered via enemas/suppositories, not via the small intestine.
5. It might be worth trying Epsom salts/sodium thiosulfate. This will remove sulfites, if there are problems with them. And also, if there is metal toxicity - chelators
6. Magnesium citrate and malic acid, for the malate and isocitrate stages in the Krebs cycle. Malic acid should also support the liver a little.
Judging by what you write, I think the main problems here are in 2 things. Gilbert's syndrome + infectious load.
If you try, then do everything carefully, with low doses, checking the reaction and slowly increase to normal
merebalacy
Well-Known Member
- Messages
- 108
Dude, the quality is bad, but I understand that your hair analysis shows off-scale arsenic? Did you develop this version?
This thing is very problematic, it can do all this shit for you and overload glutathione and all the cascade things. DMSA seems to chelate it, I don’t remember, look it up. Usually arsenic is found in hair because it is close to keratin, but you have too much of it.
Do you happen to live near it?
In general, according to Krebs, there is a dip in citrate, malate is close to depletion, there are a lot of oxalates.
The biochemistry analysis shows essentially a virus, a bacterium - a source of inflammation.
All B vitamins are low. Vitamin C is generally 0.
c. difficle needs to be removed, it is a problematic thing, it can also cause IBD for you.
In general, what I said. But clarify about arsenic, this is an important point in fact.
Also, bind toxins in the intestines more often and remove excess.
Stick to what I said above, with an adjustment for personal intuition. Perhaps it is worth adding amino acids, but they contain lysine, which will reduce immunity, and there is arginine, which can increase iNOS. So, be guided by sensations too.
In simple words. The principle will be to remove all the crap and at the same time maintain antioxidant and detoxification, otherwise you will not get out.
In my opinion, PFS is treated either with steroids. Or by removing the infectious load, releasing the load from antioxidant systems and detoxification systems (I assume this is your case). Or by demethylation.
Maybe there are others, but I do not see them.
This thing is very problematic, it can do all this shit for you and overload glutathione and all the cascade things. DMSA seems to chelate it, I don’t remember, look it up. Usually arsenic is found in hair because it is close to keratin, but you have too much of it.
Do you happen to live near it?
In general, according to Krebs, there is a dip in citrate, malate is close to depletion, there are a lot of oxalates.
The biochemistry analysis shows essentially a virus, a bacterium - a source of inflammation.
All B vitamins are low. Vitamin C is generally 0.
c. difficle needs to be removed, it is a problematic thing, it can also cause IBD for you.
In general, what I said. But clarify about arsenic, this is an important point in fact.
Also, bind toxins in the intestines more often and remove excess.
Stick to what I said above, with an adjustment for personal intuition. Perhaps it is worth adding amino acids, but they contain lysine, which will reduce immunity, and there is arginine, which can increase iNOS. So, be guided by sensations too.
In simple words. The principle will be to remove all the crap and at the same time maintain antioxidant and detoxification, otherwise you will not get out.
In my opinion, PFS is treated either with steroids. Or by removing the infectious load, releasing the load from antioxidant systems and detoxification systems (I assume this is your case). Or by demethylation.
Maybe there are others, but I do not see them.
merebalacy
Well-Known Member
- Messages
- 108
I have healed very well these few months, panic attacks have gone away pretty much, mood is shitty when I am under a lot of oxidative stress still. My hair has started to grow again, not nearly as thick as it was before this, but at least it’s growing.
My frame is a lot bigger, right now, I don’t look too bad, still a long way away from normalcy, but I don’t hate who I see in the mirror anymore.
I think overall I am about 40% now, I hope to reach near 100% this time next year. I’ve got a lot of work to do though.
My frame is a lot bigger, right now, I don’t look too bad, still a long way away from normalcy, but I don’t hate who I see in the mirror anymore.
I think overall I am about 40% now, I hope to reach near 100% this time next year. I’ve got a lot of work to do though.
merebalacy
Well-Known Member
- Messages
- 108
What should I do? I really have no idea anymore. Windows are cool but I want them to be longer and not just 3 days.
My stool is green, what’s with that? Bile? What do I even do about it.
My stool is green, what’s with that? Bile? What do I even do about it.
Means your bile is coming out too fast, and green can mean old copper, does it smell like copper pennies? When I had green stools they smelt badly of copper but this came after 4 months of really flushing out the liver.
Try some soluble fiber like organic oats or charcoal these can help bind to bile and slow down digestion a bit