Fefi's log

[merebalacy]

Been sometime, but it seems like a flip had switched on these past few days. It’s a shame to say that I’ve done absolutely nothing to induce this…

I have been eating like shit, and living as sedentary as possible to see what happens but no change in symptoms. It’s annoying as I believed that diet and lifestyle was super important in my previous recovery, but it’s seems as just dropping things that are artificial like pharma or vaping pushed me in the right direction.

I was looking for things that could’ve sparked such a bad crash, one 1000000x worse than finasteride; I was taking a concoction of potent 5aris (Tea tree, oregano, clove, black seed oil) to kill infections that I had from immunosuppression. Impetigo, fungal infections etc. I pretty much swallowed quite a lot too, put a lot in my sinuses, used quercetin (500mg) for a month along with cyclosporine and antibiotics.

I am leaning more so on the pharma doing the most damage as I felt no different on the other supplements or the oils. Tbh, I’m not sure. Either way, I won’t be using any 5ari or essential oils again.

In hindsight, I think Fin just made my baseline much much worse. I would’ve ended up in this state on way or another. I found out I am predisposed to schizophrenia, OCD , bipolar; scary stuff basically. If I took an antipsychotic I would’ve been on this site still, making this log. Albeit with less significant symptoms, I still think Finasteride is the worst drug you can take (bias I know lol).

 

[Fazed22]

Been sometime, but it seems like a flip had switched on these past few days. It’s a shame to say that I’ve done absolutely nothing to induce this…

I have been eating like shit, and living as sedentary as possible to see what happens but no change in symptoms. It’s annoying as I believed that diet and lifestyle was super important in my previous recovery, but it’s seems as just dropping things that are artificial like pharma or vaping pushed me in the right direction.

I was looking for things that could’ve sparked such a bad crash, one 1000000x worse than finasteride; I was taking a concoction of potent 5aris (Tea tree, oregano, clove, black seed oil) to kill infections that I had from immunosuppression. Impetigo, fungal infections etc. I pretty much swallowed quite a lot too, put a lot in my sinuses, used quercetin (500mg) for a month along with cyclosporine and antibiotics.

I am leaning more so on the pharma doing the most damage as I felt no different on the other supplements or the oils. Tbh, I’m not sure. Either way, I won’t be using any 5ari or essential oils again.

In hindsight, I think Fin just made my baseline much much worse. I would’ve ended up in this state on way or another. I found out I am predisposed to schizophrenia, OCD , bipolar; scary stuff basically. If I took an antipsychotic I would’ve been on this site still, making this log. Albeit with less significant symptoms, I still think Finasteride is the worst drug you can take (bias I know lol).

Essential oils are bad they inhibit cyp450 enzymes which is needed for metabolising chemicals, drugs, vit A and producing steroid hormones. Quercetin major inhibitor of ALDH which is needed to metabolise Vit A. When you take this these things you're essentially shutting down your livers ability to metabolise vit A and various other substances, which can cause a toxic amount of Vit A compounds to leak into your blood causing a crash.

 

[merebalacy]

Essential oils are bad they inhibit cyp450 enzymes which is needed for metabolising chemicals, drugs, vit A and producing steroid hormones. Quercetin major inhibitor of ALDH which is needed to metabolise Vit A. When you take this these things you're essentially shutting down your livers ability to metabolise vit A and various other substances, which can cause a toxic amount of Vit A compounds to leak into your blood causing a crash.

Hmm, that's interesting. I only used them topically, however, and I didn't notice any worsening on them. The only thing I can notably say that gave me ill effects was the pharma meds I was on. Then again, things interact with each other and it was probably a combination of all of the things I took which led to a bad crash like this.

Anyway, I have had to defer my studies for a year to get on top of the mess I created. This is all quite isolating, seeing everyone move on with their lives and forget about you. But what can you do but recover right?

I just hope another crash doesn't happen again as I genuinely thought I was dying, skin got all fucked up, eyes were red, gums were bleeding, hot flashes, cold flashes. My CRP was insanely high, I definitely released a beast when I chose to kill infections + immunosuppress myself at the same time. It sounds like compromised gluta to me, similar to helens crash when he took fin whilst chelating.

I want to put out a plan here for myself to look back on and to also gather some opinions on it lol

- Electrolyte protocol diet
- Electrolytes
- Methylation support; PQQ, Coq10, Vit C, Vit D3, B2
- 8 eggs yolks worth of choline
- Exercise as normal
- Avoid all pharma for at least 1.5 years
- Find a way to combat infections

 

[merebalacy]

I got some genetic testing done and I thought I would just leave this here for anyone interested in getting such a thing tested. Fucked neurotransmitter wise :/

@Outlaw this is what a messed up nutrihacker report looks like!

 

[Fazed22]

I got some genetic testing done and I thought I would just leave this here for anyone interested in getting such a thing tested. Fucked neurotransmitter wise :/

@Outlaw this is what a messed up nutrihacker report looks like!

It's normal actually, the CBS homozygous is the bad one

 

[merebalacy]

It's normal actually, the CBS homozygous is the bad one

I thought so too, but there are soooo many people who think otherwise. Genetic lifehacks, a site I used often, also had thought the same thing. Could you expand on why it may be so bad? I am kinda conflicted on the matter.

 

[Fazed22]

View attachment 2265
I thought so too, but there are soooo many people who think otherwise. Genetic lifehacks, a site I used often, also had thought the same thing. Could you expand on why it may be so bad? I am kinda conflicted on the matter.

Return to Autism Page read that

 

[Fazed22]

Hmm, that's interesting. I only used them topically, however, and I didn't notice any worsening on them. The only thing I can notably say that gave me ill effects was the pharma meds I was on. Then again, things interact with each other and it was probably a combination of all of the things I took which led to a bad crash like this.

Anyway, I have had to defer my studies for a year to get on top of the mess I created. This is all quite isolating, seeing everyone move on with their lives and forget about you. But what can you do but recover right?

I just hope another crash doesn't happen again as I genuinely thought I was dying, skin got all fucked up, eyes were red, gums were bleeding, hot flashes, cold flashes. My CRP was insanely high, I definitely released a beast when I chose to kill infections + immunosuppress myself at the same time. It sounds like compromised gluta to me, similar to helens crash when he took fin whilst chelating.

I want to put out a plan here for myself to look back on and to also gather some opinions on it lol

- Electrolyte protocol diet
- Electrolytes
- Methylation support; PQQ, Coq10, Vit C, Vit D3, B2
- 8 eggs yolks worth of choline
- Exercise as normal
- Avoid all pharma for at least 1.5 years
- Find a way to combat infections

Yeah I would avoid the herbal supplements which all seem to cause some kind of issues in the liver and metabolism, and stick to vitamins and minerals. D3 supplements I don't think are good they inhibit bile acid synthesis, either use sunbed or uv lamp or sun for vit D.

 

[merebalacy]

Got blood tests again, testosterone shot back up to normal, probably a bad thing.

What’s even worse is my inflammatory markers, high WBC, platelets etc. Also high phosphorus which is probably telling of my bone issues. I’m not sure what to do, can anyone give me some advice?

I’ll attach the results here soon.

 

[merebalacy]

I am really struggling today, to be in the same spot but worse after 'recovering' is tough on me. Man, I just need someone to tell me it'll be okay, I'm super scared about what the future holds. I wrote a suicide note today too - deleted that a couple hours later realising how stupid it was.

I rarely have positive thoughts and when they wane all of this just hits harder. I still feel like a kid, scared of everything and just needing their parent's company.

This will probably be my last shot at this, I just can't do this again. Walker's story resonates with me quite a lot, life finally going well and it all just crumbles. Looking at his story gives me the most hope, I believe I can get better but I want that 100%.

I am continuing with the electrolyte protocol.

 

[RebelWithACause]

Had many days like that bro. You probably are biochemically still a kid. I had the same thing for a long time and even today I still have some childlike state. I even moved back in with my parents temporarily but we have a better relationship now. I left my parents house quite young and our relationship was not good. Now it's better. I am not sure how it's possible but it must be a reflection of my health.

That being said you're not alone 100%. We are here too trying to fix our health.

The feeling you have often passed for me after like a day. It's often old emotions or even trauma that was buried.

 

[merebalacy]

Had many days like that bro. You probably are biochemically still a kid. I had the same thing for a long time and even today I still have some childlike state. I even moved back in with my parents temporarily but we have a better relationship now. I left my parents house quite young and our relationship was not good. Now it's better. I am not sure how it's possible but it must be a reflection of my health.

That being said you're not alone 100%. We are here too trying to fix our health.

The feeling you have often passed for me after like a day. It's often old emotions or even trauma that was buried.

Yea, I feel like I stunted myself by taking this at 19. I am definitely less mature than I was back then, I pretty much break down after every minor speedbump in my life right now. As dumb as it sounds, I wish I got PFS when this forum was way more active, I think having Swolesource and this inactive adds to the isolation. The only places that are active are PH and some subreddits. Everyone I communicate with from Reddit is batshit crazy, I don't get it. There was a guy threatening to kill the doctors that prescribed him finasteride, he was talking as if he was Batman or something aha, using words like 'vengeance'.

In PFS you feel like you are the only one experiencing issues in life. No one can really understand what you are going through as few even believe you, and even fewer have gone through it. It's hard to fully comprehend things and realise that the world isn't over, but it becomes difficult when your mind is chemically imbalanced.

I have always wanted to go to Japan and my university was running a transfer student program for it. That's where my mental health went downhill and when I wrote my previous message; I knew an opportunity like that does not come around frequently and for me to miss out just because of a hair loss med killed me.

There are so many things that I missed because of ill health and I can't properly mourn over them as my emotions just aren't 100% there. I don't remember who I was before all this, but I do know I am crawling in the right direction.

 

[RebelWithACause]

Yea, I feel like I stunted myself by taking this at 19. I am definitely less mature than I was back then, I pretty much break down after every minor speedbump in my life right now. As dumb as it sounds, I wish I got PFS when this forum was way more active, I think having Swolesource and this inactive adds to the isolation. The only places that are active are PH and some subreddits. Everyone I communicate with from Reddit is batshit crazy, I don't get it. There was a guy threatening to kill the doctors that prescribed him finasteride, he was talking as if he was Batman or something aha, using words like 'vengeance'.

In PFS you feel like you are the only one experiencing issues in life. No one can really understand what you are going through as few even believe you, and even fewer have gone through it. It's hard to fully comprehend things and realise that the world isn't over, but it becomes difficult when your mind is chemically imbalanced.

I have always wanted to go to Japan and my university was running a transfer student program for it. That's where my mental health went downhill and when I wrote my previous message; I knew an opportunity like that does not come around frequently and for me to miss out just because of a hair loss med killed me.

There are so many things that I missed because of ill health and I can't properly mourn over them as my emotions just aren't 100% there. I don't remember who I was before all this, but I do know I am crawling in the right direction.

I know you shouldn't look too far ahead but I want to put a little roadmap for me to look back on;

.Electrolyte protocol until 60-70% + live in saunas (indefinitely) + detox
.Drop supps and do Tubzy's natural electrolyte protocol
.Implement CDnuts herbs
.When more confident do TEI
Enjoy being recovered.

It kinda sucks to crash but it's also a blessing. While yes you miss out on stuff I found more solace in living a sober down to earth life and not get so hyped up by other people doing stuff and partying.

I went to Japan myself twice. FIrst time off finasteride and had a great time (this was already in 2013 or something. Second time I was on fin and already crashing and travelled it sucked. It's all fun if you are healthy. But also kinda overrated IMO. Maybe because I've seen enough of it to know what it is. Not trying to downplay you but this idea of travelling everywhere or studying abroad and excitement they are very short lived. It's fun if you can do it but not the end of the world if you can't. That's my opinion tho.

BTW most people suffer from issues in health but in PFS you just have massive issues and they are more in your face.

If you are late teens/early 20s you are lucky tbh. People who have the hardest time are often in their mid30s-40s-50s. Their life is often ruined and some of them lack the energy to even get out of their shitty spot. That being said I've seen recoveries from 20 to 60.

When you are young you can leave it behind and it's over. Like a bad dream. You can use this to test yourself and get stronger in your personality. Try to make good out of it.

If you are numb numb you probably have some fin still in your system. I noticed I still had fin in my system for like 3 years after quitting. Once that let go I felt more normal but my metabolism was a lot lower and all of a sudden I had other issues. But the numb emotions were gone.

I would just do ARL or TEI especially if you are younger and want to live life. Electrolyte protocol is more advanced. But might help too. Maybe even do cdsnuts now. Most of those dudes got better quick. But it's less "balanced" so to say

BTW this shit has always been isolated. I remember even on this forum I still had to do the work by myself... It's inevetible if you want to get better. It sucks you cannot kumbaya your way into recovery but what I did was read older recoveries from guys who were recovered.

 

[ruprmurdoch]

It kinda sucks to crash but it's also a blessing. While yes you miss out on stuff I found more solace in living a sober down to earth life and not get so hyped up by other people doing stuff and partying.

I went to Japan myself twice. FIrst time off finasteride and had a great time (this was already in 2013 or something. Second time I was on fin and already crashing and travelled it sucked. It's all fun if you are healthy. But also kinda overrated IMO. Maybe because I've seen enough of it to know what it is. Not trying to downplay you but this idea of travelling everywhere or studying abroad and excitement they are very short lived. It's fun if you can do it but not the end of the world if you can't. That's my opinion tho.

BTW most people suffer from issues in health but in PFS you just have massive issues and they are more in your face.

If you are late teens/early 20s you are lucky tbh. People who have the hardest time are often in their mid30s-40s-50s. Their life is often ruined and some of them lack the energy to even get out of their shitty spot. That being said I've seen recoveries from 20 to 60.

When you are young you can leave it behind and it's over. Like a bad dream. You can use this to test yourself and get stronger in your personality. Try to make good out of it.

If you are numb numb you probably have some fin still in your system. I noticed I still had fin in my system for like 3 years after quitting. Once that let go I felt more normal but my metabolism was a lot lower and all of a sudden I had other issues. But the numb emotions were gone.

I would just do ARL or TEI especially if you are younger and want to live life. Electrolyte protocol is more advanced. But might help too. Maybe even do cdsnuts now. Most of those dudes got better quick. But it's less "balanced" so to say

BTW this shit has always been isolated. I remember even on this forum I still had to do the work by myself... It's inevetible if you want to get better. It sucks you cannot kumbaya your way into recovery but what I did was read older recoveries from guys who were recovered.

Rebel You are great with your dutch rationalism

 

[merebalacy]

Rebel You are great with your dutch rationalism

He's great with words isn't he aha.

 

[RebelWithACause]

Lol dudes if you know me in real life I'm not that rational. I would say I am too emotional! But it's the only way to deal with this health crap and shitty situations. At least for me... I've seen people go crazy from their health issues because they complicate it too much because of their emotions and the pain they feel going through it.

 

[merebalacy]

Lol dudes if you know me in real life I'm not that rational. I would say I am too emotional! But it's the only way to deal with this health crap and shitty situations. At least for me... I've seen people go crazy from their health issues because they complicate it too much because of their emotions and the pain they feel going through it.

The same with me lol. I am a wreck emotionally but for some reason, I can give out pretty sound advice sometimes.

Anyway, I am doing better these days, 50% of my muscle returned overnight along with a surge in libido. I felt like me again. Sadly, it didn't last however, I have retained the muscle and it's now much easier to exercise. I am just waiting for energy to return so I can start saunas again. Perhaps March may be a significant month for me.

 

[merebalacy]

Is brain damage a thing in PFS? I got insane inflammation everywhere, skin got fucked as well as my gums. I had quite bad head pressure for a few days which would make me vomit.

I feel lobotomised, which is quite scary to me.

 

[Resurection]

Hi all, I've been in the discord for a while but never made a post here. Wanted to put all my info in one place for the sake of convenience and hope that my story might help someone else too!

I took finasteride topically for a month or so in November 2023, and got sides on them; voice cracking, low libido maybe a little brain fog, body aches, and ball pain. All left after a day off of it, but like a dumbass, I went at it again and again until I realised that it was simply not sustainable for me. It was a week after that I got ball pain again, and woke up one day with hard flaccid. This gradually improved, until I took cyclosporine topically. I was getting super tired and I couldn't understand what was happening, POTS, my lips, hands and feet went blue couldn't exercise or do shit without almost collapsing. I got a viral throat infection after this, and here is where I noticed some bad things happening. My joints started cracking like a mf, not just a little but a fuck TON, I lost a little muscle but hey-ho at least I was okay symptoms-wise. Then my skin started getting progressively looser, and dryer. I dropped the nicotine that I was using and noticed an improvement in my symptoms straight away, was off of it for two weeks, and then crashed to oblivion when I restarted usage.

My side effects then were; dry ass skin, muscle loss (symmetrically throughout my whole body all in a couple of hours), no pumps, no mind-muscle connection, crazy saggy skin and a fucked up dick.

I recovered the above until August brought an odd body change. I had horrific histamine issues, exercising would fuck me up; my throat would close up, hot flashes, stiff neck, runny nose etc etc. I had no clue what was happening and I then got a bad eye infection, which led me to take cyclosporine which caused my joints and connective tissue to dissolve, until I crashed again and the same shit happened before. Severe POTS, hot flashes, then the SAME EXACT viral infection WITH THE SAME SYMPTOMS and degradation. This has now only JUST started improving, I noticed fasting for a little while would make me feel a lot better, so I kept on doing it for the whole of December. It was a horrible experience and I genuinely never wish that on anyone; severe suicidal thoughts, anhedonia, muscle atrophy (symmetrically throughout my whole body all in a couple of hours) no hunger, cold all the time, couldn't sleep even for an hour, crying like crazy... It was like I had finasteride in my body, which led me to wonder about re-exposure, or maybe it was still in my body.

Now, I want to get to the bottom of this, so I'll probably be doing TEI for a little while to fix my immune system and other shit when I stabilise. Currently working with Bruschi and trying some stuff to help push me forward a little more.

It would be great to revive this forum once more, RWAC, Tubzy, Mnk, Bruschi... It's fantastic that you guys are still here, which helps us who are in the shit a lot more than you guys could ever imagine.

Hi man)

Did you find out what kind of infection it was? Could it be a reactivation of something old?

Maybe starvation was elevating your glucocorticoid receptor. Cortisol regulates the th1/th2. If it's low or GR doesn't bind to it normally, regulation goes down.

You don't have any hormone tests?

 

[merebalacy]

Hi man)

Did you find out what kind of infection it was? Could it be a reactivation of something old?

Maybe starvation was elevating your glucocorticoid receptor. Cortisol regulates the th1/th2. If it's low or GR doesn't bind to it normally, regulation goes down.

You don't have any hormone tests?

Unfortunately, I didn't test for which virus I got. My money is on mono, but I have no way of knowing.

I assume it was reactivation as it was the same virus as the first crash.

I think fasting helped because it lowers NADPH. I think I probably have too much of it which is why I got a ton of ROS because of NADPH oxidase. It also explains why I felt recovered on 5ari only to crash after quite hard.

My hormone bloods are on the previous page.