Fighting….

[bruschi11]

I went 3 days without carnitine injection I want to space them out. But yea again yesterday I give and I felt system turn on. This morning my weigh in on Hume scale improvements all a round.

It seems like as carnitine enters approach again I can eat a good amount and still lose weight while putting muscle on which is what we want .

 

[bruschi11]

With that said, I’m definitely feeling more comfortable about stopping the Reta/ Elora for now. I really did collapse for a week or so prior to starting Reta/ Elora at end of July. I do wonder if it was because I had stopped carnitine injections a few weeks prior that eventually hit me.

Been 72 hours since last Reta/ Elora and they will be it. I’m sure they’re still active but it does seem in days 3-5 these peps stop becoming active. I feel Reta’s glucagon agonism kinda ends quickly before everything else.

All in all this was an encouraging month on paper, energy wise, ability to work. But my head is in tough spot from all the fat oxidation.

 

[bruschi11]

Seeing selenium drop and the consequent mercury elevation with that.

I am considering taking a little t3.

I haven’t touched t3 since 2017.

I just feel it could be useful.

 

[Platinum Blonde]

Bruschi, the fact that your body has started to give off a sexy poop smell means you’re on the mend. Notice that the hottest, and completely immoral 5-HT2A men on steroids at the gym always give off this natural fecal scent. It’s really a minority—only the hottest and most stylish guys can pull it off beautifully; a lot of guys don’t give off that kind of scent. The smell of feces from an ugly low 5ht2a cunt won’t be attractive—it’ll just be disgusting, as if that person hadn’t washed properly.
There’s even a plant called labdanum that gives off a fecal scent and is used as a key ingredient in modern men’s colognes to emphasize and mimic that dirty smell.

 

[bruschi11]

Bruschi, the fact that your body has started to give off a sexy poop smell means you’re on the mend. Notice that the hottest, and completely immoral 5-HT2A men on steroids at the gym always give off this natural fecal scent. It’s really a minority—only the hottest and most stylish guys can pull it off beautifully; a lot of guys don’t give off that kind of scent. The smell of feces from an ugly low 5ht2a cunt won’t be attractive—it’ll just be disgusting, as if that person hadn’t washed properly.
There’s even a plant called labdanum that gives off a fecal scent and is used as a key ingredient in modern men’s colognes to emphasize and mimic that dirty smell.

So you’re saying pushing 5-ht2a . Which = prog to Cort essentiall. Gives off that smell?

It’s about a lot more than that bro trust me. But it might be a necessity for me. I do feel it’s iodine. That does that. But b12 carnitine have to be in place for iodine to be used it seems. TRT with it.

It’s like my big 4really are L-carn injections, b12 both ado and methyl, and iodine.

Really need to stop looking at meb12 and adob12 as 1. They’re separate entities.

I’m about 5 days off the GLPs and eating heavily last few days specifically yesterday. Putting on muscle losing body fat still. Morning erections good for 5 weeks now but getting better. Sleep getting good if I don’t work too much.

neurologically still a mess. The fat oxidation sucks. I’m getting greyer. Hair and beard. But really tan beyond belief to family members and friends.

Shooting for 3-4 week Reta/ Elora cycles from here. 5 is fine but the real weight loss happens quick. The goal is to get to the off cycle so you can rebuild quickly.

I’m pushing ipa/cjc 2x daily now w/ 5amino 1mq and bpc 157 both 1x. .. will start mots c, ss31 (this time higher dose 2-3mg daily), epitalon, and really pumped about slu-pp-332.

The slu-pp really big for e2 receptors which ya’ll know I’m big about these days.

 

[Platinum Blonde]

So you’re saying pushing 5-ht2a . Which = prog to Cort essentiall. Gives off that smell?

It’s about a lot more than that bro trust me. But it might be a necessity for me. I do feel it’s iodine. That does that. But b12 carnitine have to be in place for iodine to be used it seems. TRT with it.

It’s like my big 4really are L-carn injections, b12 both ado and methyl, and iodine.

Really need to stop looking at meb12 and adob12 as 1. They’re separate entities.

I’m about 5 days off the GLPs and eating heavily last few days specifically yesterday. Putting on muscle losing body fat still. Morning erections good for 5 weeks now but getting better. Sleep getting good if I don’t work too much.

neurologically still a mess. The fat oxidation sucks. I’m getting greyer. Hair and beard. But really tan beyond belief to family members and friends.

Shooting for 3-4 week Reta/ Elora cycles from here. 5 is fine but the real weight loss happens quick. The goal is to get to the off cycle so you can rebuild quickly.

I’m pushing ipa/cjc 2x daily now w/ 5amino 1mq and bpc 157 both 1x. .. will start mots c, ss31 (this time higher dose 2-3mg daily), epitalon, and really pumped about slu-pp-332.

The slu-pp really big for e2 receptors which ya’ll know I’m big about these days.

Progesterone is always a nightmare.
5HT2a stimulates 5-alpha-reductase and aromatase, which inhibits progesterone to such an extent that it prevents the downregulation of receptors from binding to the zinc finger and triggering schizophrenia with Peyronie’s disease (a condition caused by the activation of the progesterone receptor).
But it’s much more complicated than that, and essentially, AR, 5ht2a and 5ht2c activation is essential. Every healthy, sexy, handsome guy smells faintly of feces.
Generally, this is a secret of our industry, but I don’t think anyone from the industry is reading this. The scent of a healthy man’s feces is the sexiest scent to humans; it’s only because of prudishness and a sense of disgust (PR/KOR) that we have inhibitions and are unable to realize what we truly think here in the material world (5HT2A).
That’s why handsome men often know how to take advantage of this and frequently don’t wash their anuses with soap, but only with water, leaving a little residue behind. The foundation is a healthy diet, good looks, and, above all, the right outfit. I recommend white Nike socks. They emphasize true 5HT2A masculinity.

 

[bruschi11]

Progesterone is always a nightmare.
5HT2a stimulates 5-alpha-reductase and aromatase, which inhibits progesterone to such an extent that it prevents the downregulation of receptors from binding to the zinc finger and triggering schizophrenia with Peyronie’s disease (a condition caused by the activation of the progesterone receptor).
But it’s much more complicated than that, and essentially, AR, 5ht2a and 5ht2c activation is essential. Every healthy, sexy, handsome guy smells faintly of feces.
Generally, this is a secret of our industry, but I don’t think anyone from the industry is reading this. The scent of a healthy man’s feces is the sexiest scent to humans; it’s only because of prudishness and a sense of disgust (PR/KOR) that we have inhibitions and are unable to realize what we truly think here in the material world (5HT2A).
That’s why handsome men often know how to take advantage of this and frequently don’t wash their anuses with soap, but only with water, leaving a little residue behind. The foundation is a healthy diet, good looks, and, above all, the right outfit. I recommend white Nike socks. They emphasize true 5HT2A masculinity.

What’s crazy is best weekend of my adult life including all my recoveries was really just t3+ pregnenolone while taking clomid in 2016 pre pfs.

It was preg for a week. Where it felt ok at first then nothing. While taking clomid.

Followed by t3 during a bad hangover. The t3 cleared the hangover rapidly and I partied hard for 3 days straight in Vegas (pulled chicks while at it #masculinity) and followed it with flight home a few hours of sleep and hours of basketball. I was 28 but felt like a college kid.

I thought my life was set after that. Ruined my life with fin 6 months later, had great recovery the following year where Progesterone / RU cycling helped when I came off. This is 2018 now smh when this site came out.

The rest is history from there.

 

[Platinum Blonde]

What’s crazy is best weekend of my adult life including all my recoveries was really just t3+ pregnenolone while taking clomid in 2016 pre pfs.

It was preg for a week. Where it felt ok at first then nothing. While taking clomid.

Followed by t3 during a bad hangover. The t3 cleared the hangover rapidly and I partied hard for 3 days straight in Vegas (pulled chicks while at it #masculinity) and followed it with flight home a few hours of sleep and hours of basketball. I was 28 but felt like a college kid.

I thought my life was set after that. Ruined my life with fin 6 months later, had great recovery the following year where Progesterone / RU cycling helped when I came off. This is 2018 now smh when this site came out.

The rest is history from there.

Essentially, progesterone will cause the same changes as SSRIs in the long term.
The difference lies in the androgen receptor, as progesterone will reduce its activity by converting into DHT, and this may be the only positive effect. But I suspect that in people who haven’t yet developed PSSD—when they’re still thinking normally—the administration of progesterone may in itself trigger PSSD and PFS, or schizophrenia, where one feels a sense of oneness with animals, much like how marijuana has spontaneously triggered these conditions in some people, and it’s well known that marijuana increases progesterone levels by mobilizing pregnenolone.

 

[RebelWithACause]

Does this guy have low or high 5HT2A?

 

[Platinum Blonde]

Does this guy have low or high 5HT2A?

Rather low.
I imagine a “High 5ht2a” person in public as a sexy and super-attractive puppet who never complains and never brings up social or moral issues. Some kind of porn model or porn actor or sexy singer wearing white underwear and filming scenes in the bedroom—preferably a gay man (preferably a closeted gay man).
I think of the scenes with Daniel Craig as James Bond, and for some reason, Putin comes to mind when I think about it.

 

[bruschi11]

Biotin severely needed. Severely. Higher dose. Post Reta/ Elora. And probably carnitine led to this need as well. The fat oxidation. Hydrogen and oxygen putting demand on nitrogen and co2.

I do think ado b12 is really the key to succinate. But if you push ado without biotin I can see hif1 (fat oxidation/ nadh) taking over co2 essentially.

 

[bruschi11]

Essentially, progesterone will cause the same changes as SSRIs in the long term.
The difference lies in the androgen receptor, as progesterone will reduce its activity by converting into DHT, and this may be the only positive effect. But I suspect that in people who haven’t yet developed PSSD—when they’re still thinking normally—the administration of progesterone may in itself trigger PSSD and PFS, or schizophrenia, where one feels a sense of oneness with animals, much like how marijuana has spontaneously triggered these conditions in some people, and it’s well known that marijuana increases progesterone levels by mobilizing pregnenolone.

Interesting. I get it.

Link me to where you write.

You been spying on me a long time? It’s quiet here and I like it like that. I need to be in a quiet place. At work. Here. Nobody telling me how bad I suck.

It’s a crazy place . Turning 38 years old in 2 weeks. Been in cfs/ pfs for a decade. With short recovery stints. Nobody believes in you. No friends or family really believe in you.

Then you start working a lot. And you tell people you’re doing it while suffering. And people then expect you to be ok have a social life date find someone , get a more real office type job I went to school for etc. while all that is completely impossible . I’m still in the complete fight for my life. A real hell unimaginable but I get by.

This world is just crazy. I can’t believe this is all real. 10 years later feels like I’ve lived through a simulation.

 

[bruschi11]

Biotin severely needed. Severely. Higher dose. Post Reta/ Elora. And probably carnitine led to this need as well. The fat oxidation. Hydrogen and oxygen putting demand on nitrogen and co2.

I do think ado b12 is really the key to succinate. But if you push ado without biotin I can see hif1 (fat oxidation/ nadh) taking over co2 essentially.

A lot happened in oligoscan from the sudden mega biotin dose 25 mg today.

Specifically my mercury/ sele issue recently got cleaned up. Crazy.

 

[MNK99]

Interesting. I get it.

Link me to where you write.

You been spying on me a long time? It’s quiet here and I like it like that. I need to be in a quiet place. At work. Here. Nobody telling me how bad I suck.

It’s a crazy place . Turning 38 years old in 2 weeks. Been in cfs/ pfs for a decade. With short recovery stints. Nobody believes in you. No friends or family really believe in you.

Then you start working a lot. And you tell people you’re doing it while suffering. And people then expect you to be ok have a social life date find someone , get a more real office type job I went to school for etc. while all that is completely impossible . I’m still in the complete fight for my life. A real hell unimaginable but I get by.

This world is just crazy. I can’t believe this is all real. 10 years later feels like I’ve lived through a simulation.

as krzy as it sounds, and we discussed it before bro.
monetize your suffering/struggle. keep notes, write daily, like you've been doing.
you likely have a lot more than what you're sharing.

don't let these pricks win (Merck, whoever, ppl that doubt you/ want to/ appear to want to hurt you).
that's what i'm doing in addn to dealing w/ lots of bs. and also trading. maybe making some better braces, w/ 3d printing, and my boy, a lawyer... could help like a lot of the 1.8mn w/ hEDS/EDS and the like.

Your story, my story. All of ours' deserve to be told. Txt me sometime or signal, tele, whatever bro.
I'll try and be there for u, if you want.

MNK.

 

[bruschi11]

as krzy as it sounds, and we discussed it before bro.
monetize your suffering/struggle. keep notes, write daily, like you've been doing.
you likely have a lot more than what you're sharing.

don't let these pricks win (Merck, whoever, ppl that doubt you/ want to/ appear to want to hurt you).
that's what i'm doing in addn to dealing w/ lots of bs. and also trading. maybe making some better braces, w/ 3d printing, and my boy, a lawyer... could help like a lot of the 1.8mn w/ hEDS/EDS and the like.

Your story, my story. All of ours' deserve to be told. Txt me sometime or signal, tele, whatever bro.
I'll try and be there for u, if you want.

MNK.

Love you man. 10 years we been at this shit together. Never met but you’ve always been out there. We’re about same age. Late 30s now. It is crazy.

I will never monetize my suffering. I will continue to write as I suffer.

I deserve monetization if I win. If I prevail. Can find true peace on this planet. Credibility is needed for monetization.

I don’t know if neurological peace is out there. But if it is. And it happens. I’m worthy of a crown. And I’ll say it loudly and proudly if it ever happens. I would be deemed credible to many or even the majority.

But I’m not currently. I’m still a failure. Credibility matters beyond just about anything. Failure makes credibility impossible.

If I recover to a good degree I got a lot going for me. I understand who I am from an analytical standpoint regarding metabolic health.

I’m not perfect. I don’t know everything . Heck I don’t know a lotttttt. But I’m a resource. A real one. And could provide a lot to the mito healing community if I ever gain credibility which is 100% reliant on recovery.

@RebelWithACause said it a few weeks ago. I agree with him. I bring things to the table, but I ain’t well. ChatGPT said the same thing to me.

I had chat really analyze me compared to a lot of other underground Internet health forum writers say 6 months back. Prior to this new approach.

But ChatGPT just compared me now to years prior and just says I’m connecting systems like very few others on the internet do. And it’s systems. Not deficiencies not minerals not hormones. It’s full systems that need to be regulated

I didn’t tell ChatGPT to analyze me. I told him to analyze bruschi11 lol like I was interested in the guys work.

And I just feel so good about the way I see things now. My ability to analyze through collection of Hume scale, Oligoscans, Oura ring, glucose monitor, htma, bloods. Heck dark field microscopy.

I know it’s all real. Every single thing I’ve done. Is every theory real? No. But lots of them are and things nobody would ever think about. But are so meaningful here in this space. And extremely real and valid.

We can’t fight pharma. We have to fight for health. And prove health right. And what health is. And how it happens. And why it goes down from pharma if possible.

What matters most isn’t fighting a bad system like Pharma that fucked up your life. It’s about fixing what went wrong. And why how/ why you fixed it. And getting a good fulfilling life back most importantly.

I am very lucky that I was always in a good place financially to be able to battle this. Lol it became barely adequate not great the last few years when I stopped working. Luckily Boston area became really prosperous the last 15 years and I can make good money doing easy jobs now. It’s funny these days your typical Boston meatheads hall in 6 figures easy. And there are a lot of meatheads here trust me.

It’s crazy calling myself lucky right now. But I’m on a protocol. An approach. My morning wood is a real thing happening 6 weeks non stop improvements there. I sleep pretty well too to be honest. My erections are best since 2022 for sure. Which happened quickly as only a few weeks ago they were really dead. I mean just overall genital size. It’s back in a really good way. I’ll jerk off and look down and be like whoa I have that to work with now ?!

Physically I’m still like MS type illness and honestly don’t think I could fuck a girl good. If a girl wants to get on top and go for a ride I probably could give her a good time from below. This was how things operated the last two years of my last relationship which ended 4 years ago. So it’s been 6 full years of this smh. But got a lot worse the last 3 neurologically as I went more and more anemic specificially. I was completely impotent mid 2023 till say a month ago 2026. Couldn’t fuck a thing if you paid me.

I probably should start trying. Demented or not. I look a lot better. My tan is insane lol. But the way I dress is pathetic. I don’t cut my hair more than every 3rd month (for htmas) and I don’t shave too often. Beard crazy grey I gotta hide it better. My family tells me I smell all the time. And not gonna lie I don’t wear deodorant much because I like to smell what’s going on with my body. It gives me signs. My scent which changes by day.

I’m still fat. But less fat. And I’m doing fineee with body comp off the reta/ elora now for a week. Losing weight in my off cycle as I did in the last one. I’m 5’8 228-230 32-33% bf.

I started at 256 on May 1st about 38% bf. I have put on 4 lbs of muscle since. And lost yea about 28 lbs so 32 lbs net.

I went on a long rant. Needed it. I admit it’s tough not really having peers to live this life with anymore. I don’t have peers. It’s like my friends rised into adulthood and I remained behind. They succeeded in life and I failed. They can still be my friends but they aren’t my peers and the friendship becomes something so different .

You grow up with people and reality is the friends I grew up with were all good at sports like me, solid students, but strong socially which I feel matters most these days and all ended up doing pretty great in the real world, started families with great girls.

I’m the guy that really fucked things up. It’s rough. But like the Green Day song I listened to quite a bit when I I had severe pfs/ Lyme to keep me going in 2017…. “I’m Still Breathing.”

 

[RebelWithACause]

@bruschi11 Just got to get back on the horse one step at a time. I do notice with myself if I do the right things life becomes easier. I will feel bad mentally maybe but life becomes easier. If you go the opposite way life becomes harder and worse. Also I think it's important to listen to feedback from parents and friends. They often see stuff you don't see and more objectively. Doesn't mean you should throw everything out or listen 100% to their advice. But they are like feedback mechanisms you can use to steer yourself in the right way. When I do well and make improvements I also notice my parents and friends are more receptive and they say they think I am doing well and stuff. I used to be very stubborn and not listen to anything and it can be helpful but it always caused mistakes in the things I did and then I would rationalise it. The ego is powerful often tries to protect us but can also cloud judgement because of it.

 

[bruschi11]

@bruschi11 Just got to get back on the horse one step at a time. I do notice with myself if I do the right things life becomes easier. I will feel bad mentally maybe but life becomes easier. If you go the opposite way life becomes harder and worse. Also I think it's important to listen to feedback from parents and friends. They often see stuff you don't see and more objectively. Doesn't mean you should throw everything out or listen 100% to their advice. But they are like feedback mechanisms you can use to steer yourself in the right way. When I do well and make improvements I also notice my parents and friends are more receptive and they say they think I am doing well and stuff. I used to be very stubborn and not listen to anything and it can be helpful but it always caused mistakes in the things I did and then I would rationalise it. The ego is powerful often tries to protect us but can also cloud judgement because of it.

For me at this point there’s like nothing friends and family can say that will change things. I have my protocol down. They don’t believe me in terms of what matters and think I’m chasing “Angels on the Moon.” Been listening to that group Thriving Ivory and that’s like my theme song to this summer.

“Angels on the Moon” give it a try. But I talk in terms of metabolism. That talk just can’t happen. People can’t come to general concept that our bodies run on enzymes governed by metabolism. That disease and health are about energy or lack there of. It’s angels on the moon talk to them. That iodine and carnitine b12 are far more important to my body comp improvements than a GLP1 is baffling. Impossible. Crazy. But the Hume health scale shows it.

There’s no grey areas to the non sick. It’s always black and white . You’re sick or you’re not. To them I’ve always been sick. Besides a few stretches for 12 years smh lol. So my talk is just jibberish and not worthwhile to them. And beyond my parents and brother, does anyone REALLY CARE. At this point, 7 years in? Like the friends that stayed around and pretend to be interested. It’s all fake. They have kids and families and bills to pay. Money to be made. Again late 30s. Life changes man.

They think I’m either crazy or dying a long shitty death. That’s it. They don’t know what to think. They’re conflicted. But they’re all in on those two options . There is no 3rd to the outsider. I’m not recovering. I’m lost to them essentially.

People don’t recover from decade long illnesses. It’s not something that happens in modern society. We have pharma. They prevent that. So the normal person sees me as a lost cause chasing “angels on the moon.”

I have one friend I got help from. He was big into dnrs for mold illness. He’s an md now almost a year left of school. I couldn’t do dnrs but I became mindful in the way they do it. I do it my own way.

One of my closest friends the last 6 years is a dude I met here. 5 years older than me. He was actually internet friends with Gbold when Gbold was healing in the early 2010s. He knew Gbold was on another level. He thought Gbold was gonna save him.

But as he recovered say between 2019 and 2022 it happened. He realized Gbold was just another talking head out there. Who made good points . But missed a lot. His recovery was pretty anti Gbold. Carnivore/ fasting destroyed him. Mineral balancing was bad. He had some awful reactions like me. Vit D killed him once to point he couldn’t walk for days, iodine w/ carnivore he went into Parkinson’s type shit for months.

His htmas were horrible. But as he healed what happened? Boron elevated. Boron elevates in hair, drops in oligoscan in strong co2 environment is what I’ve found. He was Peaty with diet pro sugar. B5 choline liver herbs , multivitamins calcium . A little 4 andro and epiandro cycling. He played with GRJ stuff. I think he liked sele and moly b12. But eventually he liked a multivitamin b5 choline for nutrients.

He was overweight from being so sick but tall. But he got a flu at one point that took 20-30 lbs off him or something. Then the carnivore iodine finished off his weight issues even as it made him deadly sick for a bit. Looking at it now he prob was experiencing similar fat oxidation issues to what I’m seeing now. But had no way or understanding of how to manage it. But I do which is nice.

He’s been good and hard on me the last few years. Pretty much my only friend I speak to regularly who has any type of input that generally matters. Reality is he’s too deep into his own life to get into the true depth of my battle here . Just like any adult out there.

I’m not complaining just saying reality. The pressure is on me to figure a way out. But I have gotten some help recently. I got young doctor he’s 28 from uk. I found him on Twitter been following him for over a year . He’s wise beyond his years in metabolism / mito health. He has somethings we are adding in .

 

[bruschi11]

Yea all the writing….

Drank a cofffe for first time in a week today. A large. 330am still haven’t come close to sleeping smh.

It’s funny I was drinking coffee daily with no issue. One break and yea it was early afternoon a large iced coffee. Wow .

 

[bruschi11]

The coffee + biotin dose essentially made this like I’m on a hardcore drug smh

This is what I’m talking about with dnrs.

I’m aware that my physical/ mental state of awareness is caused by a completely imbalanced metabolism which includes the burden of fat oxidation that this badly conflicted mitochondria does not need.

I honestly think I push it too far with the dnrs stuff. I grow complacent with being messed up. Where I should’ve reached for higher dose biotin days ago. It went through my head . But I just didn’t care to act…

Cuz the voice in my head says “you’re fine. Just work and make money. You’re fucked up metabolically. It’s ok. You’re fixing it. Slowly. But you’re doing it.”

So I don’t even reach for a supplement.

The only supp I reach for really is meb12. Everything else is on schedule. I like sucking on meb12 lozengers. I really do think that stuff might just get access to brain from the mouth right there or I can be completely wrong.

But sucking on those lozengers in bulk can act similarly to injection.

I honestly think meb12 is the key to t3 for me. Assuming t4 being made reliant on succinate. Again 5ht-2a or whatever it’s called that receptor our new mistress @platinum likes to talk about.

What’s funny is in 2020 when I originally crashed. Where zinc in high dose was a piece of why. (Zinc big for preg to prog) . Progesterone was a disaster for me. Diz—-assster.

I guess it’s likely zinc b1 b2 moly mag protocol with dana summers. As that’s what it ended up being. Elevated prog without thyroid. Prog killed receptors. Hello pfs again. 6 years ago